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Thread: Living with Joy

  1. #11
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    ^^ I may be jumping a few steps ahead here from your comment .. Actually i am

    Example - I love my partner immensely but i have begged and pleaded for him to stop smoking at the desktop comp as it is in a closet and has no ventilation, also my 13 yr old uses this comp when the laptop is in use and it smells awful of fags and weed. I found myself in an unusually calm place at the weekend and the feeling has stuck with me since then (a strange sense of calm, very unusual) Anyway .. I have always told myself, he has no respect for me, doesn't love me or else he would respect my wishes. I spoke to him this weekend and told him i won't take it to heart anymore and it's not about me. If he can't respect himself to have some self control then why should i put that burden on my shoulders .. Looking to my left, i can see a roll-up and i am not going to question him anymore .. If thats the way he chooses to behave, do i have a right to ask for otherwise .. At the end of the day i have the choice .. stay with him and see it as a flaw and accept it or decide i don't want this and end the relationship.

    I don't mean for this to sound harsh .. But sometimes reality is.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  2. #12
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    Give out love unconditionally? Whoa. That's a dangerous philosophy. Love is conditional, to me, I am a stingy one.

    I suppose the limit is within yourself. People who seek external validation does too much but people who seek validation from themselves knows when to stop. Establish your own conditions. I don't know...what unconditional love is... maybe you can unconditionally love someone, but that doesn't mean you need to actively give and give? Is the act of giving and the act of love the same? There is good intentions and then, there is letting other people learn how to take care of themselves/etc.
    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    BOLD=Brilliant
    I agree. I think part of leanring to love better is learning to know when/how to assist and when to let things play out on their own.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

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