Lol. This thread title and the whole thought behind it are awesome.
Whatever, I'm sure that if there is a God, God loves you. Why? Because you see so much beauty in life! You revel in nature and architecture and wine and all the finer things in life--and then you revel in the rustic and rough and gritty sides of life, too, or at least it seems that way.
But I know what you mean, really. I've often wanted to join a religious affiliation just because it seems so warm and welcoming. They want you to be there. Reality is, though, as someone else said, they have their own conditions you must meet in order to be accepted, and it's only when you stop meeting those conditions that you become aware of that fact. You can face just as much, if not more (someone else's words) rejection from them as you would from anywhere else. So it's not picturesque.
But maybe you just want that feeling of sensing God's presence. I can tell you, you probably do but just don't know it. Or whatever presence or joy or euphoria you do feel, say for example, when you look at nature and are surrounded by it, is as beautiful as any "God-like" experience you might feel if you could, as you would like, connect with a parish and feel God's presence. Just a thought.
For what it's worth, you seem to see a very good side of life. I think I could be quite a bit happier if I were more like you in the way you enjoy life and appreciate things.