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  1. #51
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    When I first left automotive and went into diesel, I went through another serious bout of shakiness. I was going from something I'd gotten used to, straight into an area that not only had no other women (I'd been in company of several women as an auto mechanic) but also an area where the standards were more exacting, the machines exponentially bigger, and I knew no one except my shop foreman and one really nice guy that I'd always chatted with before when I waited for my robotics classes nearby.

    I was having a lot of trouble getting my groove back. One day, my partner, Danny, was out sick and I was left to confront this enormous Detroit engine sitting mostly in parts on the table where he and I had been tearing it down. I had to drive the pistons back in, reinstall the valves, get the valve head back on. What freaked me out was the head-bolt torque.

    I had to pull 175 ft-lbs on each bolt. I weighed 105. I was going to go down in flames, I just knew it. My foreman handed me a torque wrench the length of my arm, said he wasn't sure how I was going to get this done, but that I had to, sink or swim.

    So I braced one foot on the engine and leaned back, like I was pulling an oar. 25 ft-lbs, all bolts. 50 ft-lbs, all bolts. 75 ft-lbs, all bolts... I felt like I was dying. But I got those bolts torqued to 175. I knew I had to do it or that I would never be able to feel confident in myself again. Being a mechanic was a nightmare for my self-esteem. Never knowing what was next, being put on the spot, being cat-called.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  2. #52
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Never knowing what was next, being put on the spot, being cat-called.
    Sounds like a dream come true to me! I live for such situations!

    But wow, I'm so impressed by your dedication and just the chutzpah it took to even walk into that class, never mind go through all that.

    I can imagine many women in the mechanics industry, and also computing, would tend to feel either invisible or just all too visible, for all the wrong reasons!!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  3. #53
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    christmas chaos?
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
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    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

  4. #54
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    I never feel invisible, more like I don't exist in the physical world, and thats mostly due to introversion, I guess. Its not a bads thing really, its more like I just lack physical senses, haha.

    I probably have had that "invisible" feeling many times in my life... when you have something to say but no one wants to listen, when you think people see parts of you that are so insignificant yet seem so real to them, and totally miss your real character.

  5. #55
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Sounds like a dream come true to me! I live for such situations!
    What I would have given to have the NTP unflappability at that time. I was a steady-going ball of nerves!


    But wow, I'm so impressed by your dedication and just the chutzpah it took to even walk into that class, never mind go through all that.
    I almost didn't walk in! I had to stand there for minutes on end breathing deeply. I kept hearing my foreman's speech in my mind: "Now Pink, you know what to expect. You're going to have to fight for your space. I give you permission to take action. But if things get to be too much, you give me a holler."

    I have no idea what compelled me to keep at it except that I can't STAND being beaten, not like that, not in an unfair fight. I was willing to take on the whole garage if I had to. I couldn't do that now. The very thought wears me out. My sister was down in the caves of the welding labs, getting the same treatment. She had to grab a dude by the crotch to get him to let go of her.

    Chutzpah! lol I love that word! In my case, it translated to "youthful stupidity/invincibility". haha!


    I can imagine many women in the mechanics industry, and also computing, would tend to feel either invisible or just all too visible, for all the wrong reasons!!
    That is EXACTLY it. I was nuts to pursue my automotive career, but I couldn't stop. I wanted what was mine and that was that. I wasn't going to be drummed out by a bunch of surly rednecks playing grab-ass with me or asking me when I was "going to get knocked up."

    You don't say that garbage that to an ENFJ. That's inviting "lock and load" nuclear fall-out. Being sick has taken a lot of that fight out of me. I don't know how I feel about that.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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  6. #56
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Glad that you showed them that you can do everything as well as or better than they can! It sucks when everyone expects for you to fail something!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #57
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    Glad that you showed them that you can do everything as well as or better than they can!
    I remember one day, I was standing with a chain belt that weighed twice as much as me and the 10 ton hoist. The guys had dropped what they were doing to circle up on me and stare and catcall. I started shaking because I was so angry and upset. One of the guys sat on the edge of a metal table, smirking, telling me "Well, go ahead. Do it. Or can't you." I told him to go f- himself. He tutted me about my language. I dropped the belt and a fight erupted. My foreman must have been watching me from across the garage because he came plunging in, told everyone to clear off. He was an INFJ, frequently looked as lost as I did on practical matters, reminded me of my dad only Mr. L actually gave a damn about me, unlike my father.

    I got that stupid belt around the International's drum brakes and moved it without a problem.

    What was I thinking.



    It sucks when everyone expects for you to fail something!
    Has that ever happened to you? Do you have story? You seem so invincible to me...
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #58
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I remember one day, I was standing with a chain belt that weighed twice as much as me and the 10 ton hoist. The guys had dropped what they were doing to circle up on me and stare and catcall. I started shaking because I was so angry and upset. One of the guys sat on the edge of a metal table, smirking, telling me "Well, go ahead. Do it. Or can't you." I told him to go f- himself. He tutted me about my language. I dropped the belt and a fight erupted. My foreman must have been watching me from across the garage because he came plunging in, told everyone to clear off. He was an INFJ, frequently looked as lost as I did on practical matters, reminded me of my dad only Mr. L actually gave a damn about me, unlike my father.

    I got that stupid belt around the International's drum brakes and moved it without a problem.

    What was I thinking.



    Although personally, when I get to know someone properly - almost anyone - I generally do love them anyway. In the individual sense. I'm learning as time goes on that I have an unusual capacity to really appreciate so many different things, and each time I do, it makes me a richer person as I incorporate their perceptions into my own knowledge banks.
    That's something nice to hear. I'm often the same way. That's not to say there aren't people out there I severely dislike, but I know what you mean about the capacity to truly appreciate a lot about people, most of the time.

    Are we talking about insecurities here? I'm so insecure about what I'm worth sometimes. If I am funny, cool, talkative, intelligent, wise and just generally good enough. If I'm worthy. It is something I will probably always, always have to fight myself over.

  9. #59
    Senior Member autumn's Avatar
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    Yes, I usually do. I wonder if it's because I have no avatar.

    Seriously, though, I think substitute said some very insightful things on the first page of this topic. Becoming "uninvisible" and growing closer to people requires revealing a certain amount of oneself, and if a person has had their capacity to trust injured or has been disregarded in the past after earnestly revealing something very important to them, they will of course be more hesitant to do it in the future. And yes, when you express yourself, you may be misunderstood, and misunderstanding is not the kind of communication that draws people closer.

    I think there is so much to each person, and what we see of most people every day doesn't begin to give us a look at all their richness. It is truly a treasure to really get to know someone who is good and special to you, and to give them the opportunity to relate likewise to you.
    Last edited by autumn; 12-21-2007 at 01:49 AM. Reason: I added an avatar.

  10. #60
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by targo View Post
    go through life just feeling invisible? Like people only see your smile or your face but that they never see you? Never see who is behind the 'mask'. It seems like people are so busy running that they never stop to listen or to hear what you're saying. As of late I just feel that I am invisible. Do you think it's society as a whole that walks through life like that? Do you think it's a predisposed sort of thing for specific MBTI types? Or do you just think it's a case by case situation?


    And targo you are such sparkly joy. It is flabbergasting that you could be overlooked. Yes, I have often felt invisible. I have to keep my insecurities in check because i also fear rejection a lot of the time. I especially fear being unaware I am being rejected or something.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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