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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I think the N types might struggle with this more than the S types. As an N, we tend to pay more attention to life "below the surface". That ability to feel invisible in a room full of people must come from our awareness of and attention to the iNtuitive part of relationships. I know I have a deep hunger to be known and understood to my innermost depths. Feeling misunderstood, or not understood, makes me feel alone.
    Bingo... I think you're onto it there. I pretty much live through my intuition, and physical actualities sorta pale into irrelevance for me. So the fact that I am noticed as I walk around (I related to YLJ's situation of not being able to go out to buy some bread without being accosted several times on the way) doesn't stop me from feeling invisible. I know I'm noticed and I know I'm frequently in the presence of other people.

    But I feel like I'm noticed for the things that don't matter to me, and not noticed for the things that do. And I can feel very alone in a crowded room, even as I'm in the act of being the main entertainment. I kinda feel like people see me as something of a prop, and they appreciate me for the things I can do socially, but they don't know or care about the reasons for why I do them, or why I can do them, or what it means to me, or how it makes me feel etc etc... As long as I'm entertaining people and linch-pinning the party, nobody really cares about my needs, my feelings, y'know, like who I am inside as long as I carry on being witty and energetic and keep coming up with ideas.

    I'm very much aware that in these situations where I'm physically seen and stuff, I'm not really seen. I've known people who I've hung out with for years and partied with and been on vacation with and done all kinds of fun/adventurous stuff with them, and yet they still often come out with things about me that show they really don't understand the first thing about me, although I can predict them with almost total accuracy. Times like that always remind me that I am still alone.

    Yes... maybe ENxP's and INxJ's are particularly prone to this feeling because of our extreme detachment from physicalities and also extreme attunement to the intangible. It's kind of inevitable that this will happen because so much of who we are, what makes us tick, is just completely inexplicable to someone who doesn't see it for themselves. It's intuitive, and therefore can't be quantified or explained. And the more you try, the more crazy people think you are, and the more misunderstood you are. They think you base your entire being on things that are, to them, imaginary.

    edit - and then the worst part about that is that, because it's imaginary, to them, they say it "doesn't matter". That's the killing blow. You know that stuff you just painfully explained that was your soul bared to me on a platter? Well, it doesn't matter. Let's just completely disregard it; it doesn't exist. It's all just in your head. You - you - who you are, your very being as you see it, doesn't exist and is not worth worrying about.

    Can anything be more invalidating??
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  2. #22
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Heh... at times I've been so invisible observing a conversation that I was supposed to be a part of that I forgot I was there.

    It wasn't until they turned to me and asked me a question that I was sort of like, What? Oh, yeah... This is a conversation, heh, I forgot...
    ANFP:
    Extraversion (52%) ---- Introversion (48%)
    Sensing (26%) ---- iNtuition (74%)
    Thinking (16%) ---- Feeling (84%)
    Judging (5%) ---- Perceiving (95%)

    9w1 so/sx/sp

  3. #23
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    ...
    edit - and then the worst part about that is that, because it's imaginary, to them, they say it "doesn't matter". That's the killing blow. You know that stuff you just painfully explained that was your soul bared to me on a platter? Well, it doesn't matter. Let's just completely disregard it; it doesn't exist. It's all just in your head. You - you - who you are, your very being as you see it, doesn't exist and is not worth worrying about.

    Can anything be more invalidating??
    There's a lot of pain in there.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    There's a lot of pain in there.
    Me? Ha! Nah, I'm just a shallow, fluffy extravert, remember?

    *points to pickle sized rep score as evidence of vanity*

    Ahem... I was um, talking about how other intuitives might feel. Hypothetically... y'know. Yup, that's it
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  5. #25
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Riiiiiiiiight.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Riiiiiiiiight.
    No fooling fellow N-iods, huh?

    Nah actually the really worst part is where you know they only mean well, they actually think that by saying that stuff, they're helping to make you feel better... so you can't even complain about it without people thinking you're not only delusional, but also mean and ungrateful.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  7. #27
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    A good sensor would notice all of you guys, whether you were in your world of thought or not- I know that I always notice people. Of course, I people watch between classes when I have time to kill and it's very interesting- some of the people walking by appear so lost in thought that I doubt that they notice that I'm even sitting there looking at them! Others do notice and I can get some fairly nice conversations out of them.

    I think that Ns feel ignored because they're usually thinking a lot more than some of us often do and therefore don't notice that people are aware of them! Not saying that this is a bad thing, since I would seriously benefit from spending more time thinking instead of people watching- that's just what I've observed!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #28
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    Thanks w I wasn't really talking about being physically noticed though. I'm actually often quite painfully conscious of the fact that I'm physically noticed. It's a different kind of notice I'm talking about... a sorta wish that some people could or would see into me the way I see into them. Past the exterior... ha, never mind, I'm just muttering
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  9. #29
    ~dangerous curves ahead~
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Me? Ha! Nah, I'm just a shallow, fluffy extravert, remember?

    *points to pickle sized rep score as evidence of vanity*

    Ahem... I was um, talking about how other intuitives might feel. Hypothetically... y'know. Yup, that's it
    You've one of the most beautifully tormented handwritings I've ever seen. If depth means ivory tower book knowledge without an understanding of the real world, then yes, you're so fluffy.

    INTJmom hit it on the head for me too - in that the invisibility is not so much a physical observation of my presence/absence, but more a sensation that there's only a rare few who can shine a white light into my soul.

    I read somewhere that for every N, there're 6 Ses, so to answer targo's question (one of them, at any rate) - I think N's would be more subject to feelings of being invisible - if you inteprete invisibility as not being understood and constantly having to explain why you say/think/feel something.

    I'd guess Ses feel invisibility more in the sense that no one notices what they're doing and in physical distances.?

  10. #30
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    wow this is good reading.

    do you think though that 'N's put on an 'air' about themselves? Do you think that there is a wall that they have built up in order to bring protection and keep themselves away? (this is probably type specific though, I shouldn't generalize all N's in here) I mean I live with another N and still I don't think I am noticed in here... that has got to be just a personal observation though.
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
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    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

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