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Thread: Change

  1. #1
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    Default Change

    Can people change?
    If yes.. How much and what?
    What is staic what is fluid?
    Are we stuck with certain things or can we grow and adapt to anything?
    Are some values ingrained and who we are no matter what?
    Can experince make a difference.
    What about trauma?
    Is change just superficial or can we actually shift our core?

    Please share your thoughts and ideas

  2. #2
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    Can people change?

    Yes. I wouldn't be much of an idealist if I didn't have faith in people and their capability to change.

    If yes.. How much and what?

    It depends on what the motivation is and what brought about this need for change. I think people can undergo a complete change but in order for this to happen there has to be something drastic triggering it and the resolve to change must be very strong. What can be changed? Everything, I guess. Within reason.

    What is staic what is fluid?

    Maybe in order to change to happen, everything must be fluid. Or the only thing static is the determination, motivation to change.

    Are we stuck with certain things or can we grow and adapt to anything?

    Well, I guess we're stuck with our minds, that's the starting point for any kind of change to happen. How open and honest are you willing to be to make things happen. I think we can grow and adapt to anything we're willing to accept. Within reason, of course.

    Are some values ingrained and who we are no matter what?

    If you think like that, if you think that there are some values holding you back from the change you should be going through, then that's how it's going to be. Your mind is what hinders you.

    It depends on what you value as well, and how it clashes with your motivation to change, I guess. How important is the change for you and what are you willing to "sacrifice" to make that change happen. Maybe the change you seek isn't anything positive.

    Can experience make a difference.

    Yes, it can. It can show you that there are some things that you need to change, that going on the same as usual is not working anymore. It can show you that things don't necessarily have to be the way they are, were they negative or just standing still. Experiencing something that has a great influence on you, either positive or negative, can just open your eyes to possibilities you hadn't thought of before. But it again depends on what you do with the experience, it alone does not change anything, only you can do that.

    What about trauma?

    Absolutely. That's the most drastic way to open your eyes. And how you deal with it can make you or break you.

    Is change just superficial or can we actually shift our core?

    It can be superficial, think about all those New Year's resolutions and whatnot, people don't really mean them and they know that they don't mean them, so they're not "real" in a way and most often that makes it ok to drop them after a while.

    As I said, everything depends on your motivation, how seriously do you want things to happen and how much are you willing to work for it. Anything is possible, you might also find that the change you desired at first is not what you want some time later on but it can be positive nevertheless. Progress is power.

  3. #3
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    Can people change?
    Absolutely.

    If yes.. How much and what?

    As people grow, they change. As much as it takes for a person to become who they have always been.

    What is staic what is fluid?
    Static is unwilling to move forward in self improvement. Fluid is evolution of self.

    Are we stuck with certain things or can we grow and adapt to anything?

    I think people can grow and adapt to anything.

    Are some values ingrained and who we are no matter what?
    Maybe, but not really. I realize that makes no sense... What I mean is, certain things are ingrained, but it does not mean that is the end all be all. Many variables can determine the outcome of the "ingrained" preferences.

    Can experince make a difference.
    Yes. History is how humanity typically prepares for the future.

    What about trauma?
    Yes. Not to put a happy face on trauma, but people have a harder time growing when comfortable. It takes something out of the comfort zone to cause someone to change, on average.

    Is change just superficial or can we actually shift our core?
    I think we can utilize our strengths. I think that people can change but it is based on experiences, so whether that "shifts our core" or not, I am not sure. Basically, I think people are stronger than they think they are. I think they are more adaptable than they think they are.
    "It is not length of life, but depth of life." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Thought breeds thought." ~ Henry David Thoreau

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    These questions are very broad. Too much could be said. But some basics...

    Can people change?
    Yes.

    If yes.. How much and what?
    Depends on the person.

    In a nutshell:
    Watch "American Beauty" (the movie).
    Lester changes a great deal.
    His wife is tempted to change but can't afford the ambiguity.
    And Lester's murderer refuses to change at all -- which is why he kills him.

    Change is like death.
    Each change is like a little death, and real death is a BIG change.
    People fear death.
    So people fear change.
    To become someone new, they have to give up who they were.
    They have to die a little bit.
    That's scary.

    The amount someone can change depends on their ability to weather and embrace ambiguity and risk.

    What is staic what is fluid?

    Anything is up for grabs, but typically people have a consistency of personality -- their primary traits tend to remain they same, and they use those traits to power themselves through the change.

    Are we stuck with certain things or can we grow and adapt to anything?

    Yes and no. Again, it depends on the person.

    In Gaiman's "Sandman," someone says about Morpheus at the end of the narrative (paraphrased): "We each come to a time where we must either change or die... and he had reached the limits of how much he could allow himself to change."

    So there is your answer.

    There are also situations that are just too embedded in the person. I've had to make changes in my life that I fought off for years, and my family was not happy about them. Many of them, I see now, are incapable of adjusting to as much change as I hoped. They have values that preclude them embracing the changes, because to accept the changes would mean also changing their values. Sometimes people cannot change that much.

    Are some values ingrained and who we are no matter what?
    See above. Sometimes you just believe what you believe, even if you know you should change .. but you can't.

    For example, at this point in my life, I feel like I will always have some sort of belief in a Christianized god. There have been such a wide range of options to me, intellectually; but for some reason, I keep coming back to it... and it's not really out of weakness... it's just because sometimes certain things dig deep ruts into your psyche, you are imprinted just like those MAC screens with images burned into them... you can change the image, but the burn-in remains. I am realizing now it's just who I am or who I have become, so that belief belongs to me and I to it.

    Can experince make a difference.

    Experience can change people's minds.
    It also can empower them to weather a change.

    What about trauma?
    Trauma can make people change unnecessarily.
    It can also make them change radically, in order to survive.... but maybe later have horrendous trouble changing the survival strategies to better accommodate a non-traumatic environment.

    Is change just superficial or can we actually shift our core?
    Some change is superficial; some change is deep and permanent.
    Again, there's a wide range here. I've seen it all.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Senior Member Ming's Avatar
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    Can people change?
    People are always changing. Even the stable ones change. Change is what life is about! Even if it may seem they are not, their bodies change.

    If yes.. How much and what?
    Depends really on the person...

    Much is a measurement. To measure you have to compare. What do you compare it to? That's the main problem...

    What is staic what is fluid?

    Hmm... I would believe that there are some aspects to a personality (psychologically) that don't move at all... It's considered a gift in my opinion!

    Fluid are things that don't really matter to you if you look at a new direction.

    Are we stuck with certain things or can we grow and adapt to anything?

    Stuck? We are formed by the world around us... We ourselves aren't 'stuck', it's just that everyone else changes It's a bit confusing maybe..

    I don't really know how to explain...


    Are some values ingrained and who we are no matter what?

    Values? It's your mind. You can pretend to be a 'baddie' on the outside, but inside you might have a heart of gold. And vice versa. Values are yours, not others. So don't put others into the equation (I always do put others so..)


    Can experince make a difference.

    EXPERIENCE IS LIFE. YOU USE YOUR LIFE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. YES!

    What about trauma?
    Depends on what you define 'trauma'. One person might think 'Oh I'm gay' it's a trauma (I'm still thinking this way nonetheless), whereas another person might think it's stupid to cry over something like this..

    It's a matter of perception again.

    Is change just superficial or can we actually shift our core?
    As long as it makes you feel like you!

  6. #6
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    people can and do change based on their experiences and lessons learned. someone may grow up in an environment where certain values are not modeled or respected and then find themselves in an environment where they experience the opposite and are able to see beauty and value in it and decide they appreciate that way of being much more and adopt it for themselves.

    i don't think much is static but i guess it would depend on the openness of the individual. i think anyone open to new perspectives will continue to grow and change throughout life.

    i think your core can expand but i'm hesitant to think it would shrink.

    perhaps trauma could put layers and layers of rubble on top of it that might take a lot of hard work to remove but i think the core would remain unchanged.

    experience makes all the difference. theory is shit....you can't say you know anything...how you'd behave how things would be...anything until you're in it.

    depends on what change you're talking about...if you're talking about behavior modification to please someone that has nothing to do with changing your core but if you are capable of adopting the value that makes the behavior a priority. i believe that's more of a core change...that is if it's truly authentically felt.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    Can people change? If yes.. How much and what?
    People can change and go to any direction. The hard part is to know which way to choose. I think you need to be still and let things settle in your mind and then you kinda gravitate towards what you want to be. There is something inside that wants to come out, but if you rationalize everything, it won't happen.

    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    What is staic what is fluid?
    It's mostly fluid. It just isn't too fast, it has inertia.

    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    Are we stuck with certain things or can we grow and adapt to anything?
    We probably can, but I'm not sure if we should. Choosing to not change is also important when defining who you are.

    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    Are some values ingrained and who we are no matter what?
    I guess so. There are values that are shared by all mammals, for example. I don't think that those can be changed without destroying something important in the process.

    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    Can experince make a difference.
    Yeah. That is part of the change. Not a small part.

    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    What about trauma?
    I think most of the evil in the world is due to traumas. They distort how you see things, they make you oversimplify things and they make you afraid.

    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    Is change just superficial or can we actually shift our core?
    I'll tell you when I find my core There is no way I can change into an economist living in the suburbs. Actually, I don't think I can "plan" the change much at all. The only choice I seem to have is to let myself change.

  8. #8
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    Can people change?

    to a degree. people can change their behavior by watching their thoughts... as in "watch your thoughts, they become actions, watch your actions, they become habits, watch your habits, they become your character, watch your character, it becomes your destiny."

    If yes.. How much and what?

    it's hard to change patterns you're used to. it takes a lot of effort, but it's possible. i think we can change our circumstances, if we first change our thinking.

    What is staic what is fluid?

    our disposition and our way of thinking are fairly static, i believe. our attitudes and habits are fluid.

    Are we stuck with certain things or can we grow and adapt to anything?

    yeah, we can grow and we can adapt to our circumstances. i think the main thing here is understanding when we should and when we should change our circumstances.

    Are some values ingrained and who we are no matter what?

    most of my values have changed through life.

    Can experince make a difference.

    yes.

    What about trauma?

    yes.

    Is change just superficial or can we actually shift our core?

    i think positive change is about learning to make the best of our core.
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