What's ironic is that after I sobered up, I went soul searching.. I visited churches. And then one day, I visited a charismatic church (if any particular group has a thing for "experiencing the ecstacy" God can bring, it's them). I don't recall all of the things they did exactly... but the service became almost intoxicating.. One minute there was preaching, the next minute, the lights dimmed and the whole congregation started singing in trance.. and then complete gibberish... and for a brief moment.. I felt it.. I was with them..
And then I snapped out of it. It was the same eerie presence I had a few times using LSD or psilosybin. The very thing I was trying to escape I found in a church! What was I to make of that? It was the last thing I would associate with God. I went soul searching in order to get a better mental footing, only to find the same insanity I was running from.