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Excuses...

The Ü™

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Why do people make them, even when they want to try new things?
 

The Ü™

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And how do people get over it? What are strategies or tactics to do so?
 

miss fortune

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well, the first step is realizing that you have a problem.....
 

The Ü™

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evaluate yourself- did you do something wrong?

What do you mean by this?

I don't recall doing something wrong in the past, it's the fear that I'll do something wrong in the future.
 

miss fortune

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well, what are you afraid of happening?

what personal characteristics of yourself could possibly be a cause of this possible future event?

what do you really want and how much do you want it?
 

CzeCze

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Why do people make them, even when they want to try new things?

I would try to answer, but I'm just too tired right now.

P.S. If you get my brilliant humor, give me rep and prove how much more brilliant and humourous you are than all those other people who don't get it.
 

white

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Stop making excuses.

Start small.

It'll get easier.

heh. Angels with attitude. :devil:

Why do people make them, even when they want to try new things?

Seeking permission and / or affirmation, mayhaps.

Permission:
You want to try new things, but you fear it could change the status quo. Hence affect how people will perceive you; how you could perceive yourself.

So you give yourself excuses not to get out of the comfort zone. If others believe you, they'd accept your excuses, so you could carry on and say "I'm doing what others think is right too."

Affirmation:
But if they tell you your excuses are hogwash, you'd then be able to comfort yourself with the fact that they helped you choose too. So your decision cannot be all that bad. Someone to blame if things go wrong? Maybe.

Edit: Uber, I could be wrong, but this doesn't feel like a general forum question post from you? Different tone. What specifically are you running away from, or trying to face? Remember that we all come from different perspectives, but ultimately, we cannot live your life for you, yea. . An approach that works for someone, may not work for you. You do have to work through it yourself - we can only help so much.

and if I was reading too much between the lines. . ignore that last bit.
 

The Ü™

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I don't know. I'm not exactly the dependent type. I'm starting to think it's because I want things to be right the first time. I just don't like wasting the energy unless I am sure I can get something out of it.

And I also tend to want tasks completed right away. Or if I want something, I want it now. I'm impatient. I despise wasting energy on things that might not go as planned. I don't want to experience disappointment, so I live a structured routine everyday. I hate this, yet I can't do anything about it. I can't go into the world until I'm able to control it.
 

arcticangel02

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One way to go about it might be to convince yourself that there's only two choices:

You're either going to give something a shot and maybe waste a bit of time and get it wrong in the meantime...

... or you're going to get stuck where you are. And maybe stay stuck.

Which would you/your brain/your whole being prefer? I tend to think that preferring to stay as you are, despite starting out quite strongly preferred, will become a less and less attractive choice until you would rather face your fears than stay as you are. From everything you're posting, it sounds like you're getting to that stage pretty quickly.

Just try and remember: You have to change something yourself, if you want your situation to change.

It doesn't matter what it is. Just change something. If you're as afraid to change your routine as you say, then start small. Start tiny. And work your way up.

It may not be the most efficient/instantaneous result, but it's a start.

Which is what you sound like you need. Just some direction.
 
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