The Traditional Values Poll

[The Ü™]

"AN INTELLECTUAL IS SOMEONE WHO HAS FOUND SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING THAN SEX." --Aldous Huxley

Uber, If you thought the quote was interesting enough for a sig line...why bother grumbling about the lack of sex?

Because I'm beginning to feel like a loser because I haven't gotten any. People who have sex do seem to be more successful in life than those who don't.

What I'd really like to do is find some way to get rid of this unusual animal desire and feelings of loneliness so I can keep my intelligence and independence.

 

[sassafrassquatch]

Sounds like Aldous needs to get laid.

 

[The Ü™]

Sounds like Aldous needs to get laid.

That sounds like an option. Dead people have been known to get laid.

But I want to find out why I even have this desire.

And why can't anyone ever give me a straight answer as to why people do such things or why the practice is so enjoyable? In theory, it just sounds kinda gross.

 

[MJ_]

What I'd really like to do is find some way to get rid of this unusual animal desire and feelings of loneliness so I can keep my intelligence and independence.

All 4 at the same time are possible.

 

[Metamorphosis]

And why can't anyone ever give me a straight answer as to why people do such things or why the practice is so enjoyable? In theory, it just sounds kinda gross.

Reproductive value. That's the short answer anyways.

 

[The Ü™]

All 4 at the same time are possible.

Do you have a link or advice that can teach me how to do this?

Reproductive value. That's the short answer anyways.

But people who don't want to reproduce still do it. Why? I cannot figure it out.

 

[sassafrassquatch]

That sounds like an option. Dead people have been known to get laid.

But I want to find out why I even have this desire.

And why can't anyone ever give me a straight answer as to why people do such things or why the practice is so enjoyable? In theory, it just sounds kinda gross.

Darwin wants you to get laid. Organisms that enjoy sex have more sex and make more babies. It's a beneficial trait.

But people who don't want to reproduce still do it. Why? I cannot figure it out.

Hormones.

 

[miss fortune]

But people who don't want to reproduce still do it. Why? I cannot figure it out.

because orgasms are fun! (ok- you can have them without anyone else, but it's fun with a partner as well!!!)

 

[Roger Mexico]

I don't disagree that such people exist. (Obviously they do.)

I simply spent most of my life immersed in a religiously conservative environment where most of the people did not possess inner homosexual inclinations but simply were brought up believing homosexuality to be wrong, for many reasons:


"Common sense" coupled with holy writ told them that homosexuality was not the ideal and was wrong. So it's more of a training/intellectual thing.

There are also those who just happened to be repulsed by it, just like some people are repulsed by various sexual practices that are not "pure vanilla."

So right there are at least two alternate reasons besides yours why people might oppose homosexuality.

An intelligent person who pays attention to the world around them gets over this crap pretty easily. I find the concept of male homosexual sex disgusting, but it's none of my business unless I'm in the same room, and thus it has nothing to do with "morality." People who actively object to it have some kind of agenda for making it an issue.

- To produce offspring naturally, you need a male and female.
- God made males and females just for this reason.
- Males and females are different.

These are theoretical considerations. Honestly, I don't even feel the need to argue with them, simply because they're all irrelevant. Nothing on that list implies a topic of legitimate public concern. Why even think about it unless it's already on your mind for some personal reason?

But mainly I was joking.

 

[The Ü™]

Darwin wants you to get laid. Organisms that enjoy sex have more sex and make more babies. It's a beneficial trait.

Darwin is dead.

Why do I want it?

And why can't anyone explain it to me? I know what it does, but no one gives me an answer of what it's like. Why? I need to test the waters before I dive in so I can make sure that it's worth the trouble in the first place. Can't someone give me an analogy of some kind?

Moreover, my username notwithstanding, because I think this way, am I less than or more than human?

By the way, I am actually not the one who turned this into a sex topic. Someone else disagreed with my views, and everything went to hell. This should be cut into the Philosophy & Spirituality thread...oh wait...

 

[Roger Mexico]

Darwin is dead.

Why do I want it?

And why can't anyone explain it to me? I know what it does, but no one gives me an answer of what it's like. Why? I need to test the waters before I dive in so I can make sure that it's worth the trouble in the first place. Can't someone give me an analogy of some kind?

Moreover, my username notwithstanding, because I think this way, am I less than or more than human?

By the way, I am actually not the one who turned this into a sex topic. Someone else disagreed with my views, and everything went to hell. This should be cut into the Philosophy & Spirituality thread...oh wait...

Do I get to be the one to do this?

"Warm apple pie."

Not really. Since I'm sure you've done some "solo flights," just think of that but more satisfying. I won't go into gory anatomical details, but trust me, you do it once and you're like "oh, that's what that's for."

Your opinion on the subject does nothing to make you more or less human. If it's bothering you that you don't do something, generally I've found the best solution is to go out and do it. (heh-heh) Or don't. Up to you. But it's really not as complicated as you're making it out to be.

 

[The Ü™]

Do I get to be the one to do this?

"Warm apple pie."

Not really. Since I'm sure you've done some "solo flights," just think of that but more satisfying. I won't go into gory anatomical details, but trust me, you do it once and you're like "oh, that's what that's for."

Your opinion on the subject does nothing to make you more or less human. If it's bothering you that you don't do something, generally I've found the best solution is to go out and do it. (heh-heh) Or don't. Up to you. But it's really not as complicated as you're making it out to be.

Is there anything that chemically happens to the mind during the "warm apple pie" sensation? Does it enhance my intelligence or does it dumb me down? How will it transform me as a person? Please, I like to know what I'm getting into. I'm too afraid to go through with it.

If it's just a warm apple pie feeling, then couldn't I get the same sensation by fucking a warm apple pie? Also, getting the warm apple pie substance all over my dick (I imagine the female lubricant is much more salty) sounds kind of unsanitary.

Tell me about this easy way. It sounds impossible for me. It seems even easy for the introverts to get it. Why is it hard for me?

How do I know if I'll be good at it? I hate being incompetent.

And what does an orgasm feel like? Most of the time after I've gotten a hard-on, I just get really tired. Is there something else that's supposed to happen? And is the sensation more physical or more abstract?

 

[Kiddo]

And why can't anyone explain it to me?

Masturbation is better in a lot of ways. Does that make you feel better?

 

[miss fortune]

And what does an orgasm feel like? Most of the time after I've gotten a hard-on, I just get really tired. Is there something else that's supposed to happen? And is the sensation more physical or more abstract?

from my observations after having an orgasm ALL men get really tired- then they roll over and fall asleep! :steam:

 

[ptgatsby]

from my observations after having an orgasm ALL men get really tired- then they roll over and fall asleep! :steam:

Eh, that means you are tiring them out There is a slight bias towards men being sleepy.. but it is very personal. I, for example, want to jog a mile... literally. It's not even awake, but wired.

 

[The Ü™]

Masturbation is better in a lot of ways. Does that make you feel better?

I've done that more than enough. It's getting old.

One of the other things I can't stand is people elsewhere seem to feel sorry for me because I haven't "done it" yet.

People tell me that it's the greatest experience human beings can experience. But now here comes that "Why?" question again.

 

[miss fortune]

People tell me that it's the greatest experience human beings can experience. But now here comes that "Why?" question again.

I really can't tell someone who hasn't eaten flan how good it tastes and feels in your mouth- the same applies here (not taste and feel, but the experience in general!)

 

[The Ü™]

Dammit! I'm never gonna figure this out. I want to be good at it the first time. Is there some sort of instruction manual or anything?

Am I losing it?

Also, can a mod move post 76 and beyond to my blog or someplace else (preferably my blog, because I don't want to embarrass myself)? I don't know if it's appropriate here and I'd love to continue this discussion so that I may feel more psychologically secure.

 

[miss fortune]

find an older woman who enjoys teaching! that's really the best advice I have for you there!

(no- I'm not volunteering- you want to wipe people like me off the face of the planet! )

 

[The Ü™]

No older women, please. That's disgusting.

I want to find a theoretical way to do this so I can be good at it the first time.