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  1. #1
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Default The true nature of the creator of the cosmos

    Many years ago, at a time of great confusion and difficulty in my life, the nature of the true creator of the cosmos was revealed to me in a moment of cathartic revelation: the true creator of the cosmos was a unicorn named Steve, who of His unlimited compassion beamed the universe from the horn atop His head. This experience was of such profound emotional impact, and accompanied by such clarity of vision and tremendous relief, that its truth was undeniable.

    Sadly, in the years that have followed, as I've attempted to spread the word of this truth, I've had to endure mockery and abusive comparisons to some sort of nonsensical invisible man in the sky, mermaids, and even purposely-ridiculous "Flying Spaghetti Monsters". I've sought to impart the depth of the emotional impact and profundity of this revelation to others only to be accused of a lack of an empirical basis -- as though mere sense perception could be adequate to grasp the truth of Steve.

    Then one day, in another moment of revelation, it occurred to me: an undeniable proof of Steve's existence. "Perfection", being after all perfection, would surely include "existence" within its definition. Steve, after all being the creator of the cosmos, must be perfect. Therefore, it cannot be logically denied: Steve exists, and he is the true creator of the Cosmos.

    Having demonstrated this truth beyond any question, let us, the members of this message board, now band together in spreading far and wide the Truth of Steve.
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

  2. #2
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    Having demonstrated this truth beyond any question, let us, the members of this message board, now band together in spreading far and wide the Truth of Steve.
    This is where people go wrong. The jump from something personally meaningful to trying to make it universally meaningful.

  3. #3
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    ...let us, the members of this message board, now band together in spreading far and wide the Truth of Steve.
    For the Truth of Steve leads us ineluctably to the Life of Brian.

    And whenever I don't know what to do I always ask myself, "What would Brian do?".

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    Then one day, in another moment of revelation, it occurred to me: an undeniable proof of Steve's existence. "Perfection", being after all perfection, would surely include "existence" within its definition. Steve, after all being the creator of the cosmos, must be perfect. Therefore, it cannot be logically denied: Steve exists, and he is the true creator of the Cosmos.
    I'm afraid the strained logic on display here is far more specious than that of any of the religious people it is intended to mock.
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  5. #5
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    I'm afraid the strained logic on display here is far more specious than that of any of the religious people it is intended to mock.
    Oh really?
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    This is where people go wrong. The jump from something personally meaningful to trying to make it universally meaningful.
    YES. BINGO.

    I mean, to understand what you just said on a superficial level is one thing, but to know it from actually experiencing it and dissecting that flaw is another.

    This thread is attempting to extract the meaning and substitute it for something erroneous so that we may understand the pitfalls of meaning for the sake of universal.. inconsistency? Viewpoint analysis. Ontological argument, as you would call it. I need to stop synthesizing my own definitions for shit.

    Bravo.

  7. #7
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    Many years ago, at a time of great confusion and difficulty in my life, the nature of the true creator of the cosmos was revealed to me in a moment of cathartic revelation: the true creator of the cosmos was a unicorn named Steve, who of His unlimited compassion beamed the universe from the horn atop His head. This experience was of such profound emotional impact, and accompanied by such clarity of vision and tremendous relief, that its truth was undeniable.

    Sadly, in the years that have followed, as I've attempted to spread the word of this truth, I've had to endure mockery and abusive comparisons to some sort of nonsensical invisible man in the sky, mermaids, and even purposely-ridiculous "Flying Spaghetti Monsters". I've sought to impart the depth of the emotional impact and profundity of this revelation to others only to be accused of a lack of an empirical basis -- as though mere sense perception could be adequate to grasp the truth of Steve.

    Then one day, in another moment of revelation, it occurred to me: an undeniable proof of Steve's existence. "Perfection", being after all perfection, would surely include "existence" within its definition. Steve, after all being the creator of the cosmos, must be perfect. Therefore, it cannot be logically denied: Steve exists, and he is the true creator of the Cosmos.

    Having demonstrated this truth beyond any question, let us, the members of this message board, now band together in spreading far and wide the Truth of Steve.
    Have you ever considered that your experience might be a total figment of your imagination? The only way that your experience can truly be as you say is to prove it to me, a complete stranger on the internet.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    This is where people go wrong. The jump from something personally meaningful to trying to make it universally meaningful.
    nodnodnod

    People focus on how their packages are different and forget to open them!

    If they did, they'd find that they all contain the same thing.

    But this one's green, and that one has a bow, and pretty soon, people start squabbling over insignificant details—precisely in the attempt to impose personal understanding onto others.

    People mistake the conveyance of understanding as understanding itself.
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
    Thoreau

  9. #9
    Supreme High Commander Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    For the Truth of Steve leads us ineluctably to the Life of Brian.

    And whenever I don't know what to do I always ask myself, "What would Brian do?".
    He'd look on the bright side of life.

  10. #10
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    This is where people go wrong. The jump from something personally meaningful to trying to make it universally meaningful.
    More pointedly, they fail to recognize the boundary between reality and the contents of their respective imaginations.
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

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