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View Poll Results: What is your opinion on it?

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  • Good thing

    13 15.29%
  • Bad thing

    22 25.88%
  • Unsure

    2 2.35%
  • Neither good nor bad

    48 56.47%
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Thread: Teenage Sex

  1. #1
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Default Teenage Sex

    I couldn't put this anywhere else, unfortunately. I figure your morals and the like can go under a philosophy section.

    Anyways, I wanted to know your opinions, fellow Type C members. I know my mother's, but what do you guys think? Good, bad, both, neither? I am not posting this for a lecture on pregnancy, so don't even think about it.

    I just want some facts, and to compare beliefs. I have read that Western Europeans tend to think of it in a better light than many Americans do. Something that is just a natural part of life...even for a teenager.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  2. #2
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I belief that quite aside from religious beliefs there are some reasons why it might be worth staving off:

    - The happiest teenagers I know are those that aren't dating. It frees them from a lot of drama and allows them to be friends with whomever they want without being tied down.

    - Those years are when your self-identity is most malleable. Allowing someone who is emotionally immature (even if they're fine for how many years they've had to gain experience etc) to shape your self-image seems foolhardy.

    - Sex generally has a bonding effect, particularly if the person is of particular emotional significance or it is the first time. Bonding to a number of people who are not going to be part of your life in the long term makes it more difficult to trust someone who is longterm material and to bond well with them. It's like a band-aid that sticks very well at first and eventually gets less sticky. Or like glueing two pieces of paper together and then separating them. Neither paper is going to ever be quite the same. Also because sex has a bonding effect, it is easy to accept less than healthy behaviour from someone because you have a strong emotional tie. Oxytocin creates something akin to a chemical addiction to the person you are with.

    - You have the opportunity to observe how different decisions work for the people around you, thereby allowing you to make the best choices that will work for you, rather than be someone's guinea pig.

    - Most guys within your age range at this time aren't likely to be very satisfying lovers, nor are they likely to be able to take care of your emotional needs. All the way around, hang on and you'll enjoy the experience more.

    - There are nasty STDs out there, some of which cannot be treated easily (genital warts, herpes etc). They are now estimating that at least 50% of the population carry or have the HPV virus, although many don't know that they do. This virus can induce genital warts, or even start irregular cell growth which leads to cervical cancer. Herpes can be passed on even by oral sex and neither it or HPV can be prevented through condom use as they are transmitted through skin to skin contact. Your chances of contracting STDs go up exponentially the more partners you have. If you start now, your count of people (as well as factoring partners who have been with others etc) is likely to be significantly greater.

    - You need a fairly strong sense of who you are and what you need from a relationship to not be at all emotionally manipulated or cohearsed (even into agreeing to not use a condom, but also into losing weight, isolating yourself from your friends etc). Mostly life experience and confidence give us that ability. Even if you are very mature for your age, you can only pack so much into 16 years. The stakes here can be fairly high.

    - Just like you cringe at music or clothes you liked a few years back, you are likely to cringe at the kind of guys you like now when you look back. Why create a possibly permanent link to them? As a result of a bad long term high school relationship where her boyfriend was verbally abusive and constantly belittled her, my formerly healthy and confident cousin is dealing with bulemia still at 33.

    - Birth control pills do have a very significant number of negative health side effects, in addition to messing with who you find attractive! They also aren't recommended for women to be on for most of their reproductive years (so if you start now, you are using up time you could take them later). They are ineffective if not taken consistently at the same time or if taken with antibiotics. Other forms of birth control aren't nearly as reliable as you'd like them to be if it's important not to get pregnant. Many adults can't even take care of this part of their sex life responsibly.

    - It's kind of nice for there to be novelty, passion and something to look forward to in the future. Many of the people I went to school with were so sick of dating by the time they were 21 because they had started so young, that they just wanted to get on with finding someone and settling down. In retrospect, many of them regret cutting off their options both educationally and personally before they even had gotten to know themselves.

    - Between 16 and 25, you're going to change a lot. If your relationship goes fabulously, chances are that the two of you are not going to change in the same directions. Many people that end up together dating in high school wonder later if they missed out on something.

    - Navigating the differences between men and women even in a platonic situation takes a lot of trial and error and self-knowledge. When you throw sex into the mix, it's harder to see objectively. I think it makes sense to get good at just relating easily to each other and working through conflict as it comes up first. Then when you add sex to the mix, you have a strong foundation for communication (which good sex generally requires) and the sex itself is going to be much more enjoyable. You can better articulate what you like and also direct the other person or find out what makes them feel good.

    - You need time to figure out what feels good to you yourself. Many women don't know that until years into their sex life and in the meantime have a lot of years of not particularly enjoyable sex.

    - If you value your privacy, it is unlikely that the guy you sleep with in high school isn't going to share details with the people you know. If that makes you uncomfortable, you mgith want to consider that before.

  3. #3
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    12? doesn't sound good
    19? totally normal

    fidelia,you're kind of taking away the magic.
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  4. #4
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Hm, Fidelia, sounds good. It sounds like that does apply to most teenagers I know. However, how about the variations between person to person? What if you DO have a strong idea of who you are, are satisfied, etc.

    Some people I know are far more adultlike than many adults I know.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  5. #5
    Senior Member BlueFlame's Avatar
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    It just...is.
    That's no different than asking if adult sex is good or bad. It's just what we're created to do after a certain age.
    The consequences can have more of a negative effect the younger you are, yes, but that's more the product of society pushing the age of independence further and further up.

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  6. #6
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Do you think that negative affects, like regretting it, are kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy, put into place by society?

    Kind of like: you are going to regret this.

    Teen: I am going to regret this. Why? Because society tells me I will.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  7. #7
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I think the "sketchy" limit for me is around 16. Not sure why, I guess 15 and under seem more like children. exceptions, exceptions, blah blah...

    I think 18-19 is not much different than early 20s in terms of maturity. There the safety would be more a factor than the age...though in terms of actually having kids as a result, 18 would be a lot more problematic than 24.

    fidelia, would you mind linking where you got the info about limiting your birth control pill usage? I'm very interested since there's always so much controversy about those things, and many conflicting opinions even from experts.
    -end of thread-

  8. #8
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I don't think it's inherently bad. It can be good as far as accumulating life experience goes, but teenagers tend to have poor judgment, so it has generally proved to be a bad thing.

  9. #9
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Sex in and of itself is never a bad thing.. I voted bad on this, however, because you're putting adult situations and decisions into teenage territory.

    Teenagers jump into things without ever thinking about them.. ... This very situation is tearing my entire family apart, all because a teenager couldn't leave adult decisions until they were adults.

    You (I mean the 'talking about people in general' you) have your whole damn life to have sex, why complicate high school more than it already is? Why not wait until you're at least an adult? It's what.. another.. 2.. 3 years of your entire 80 year life span? It's selfish, imo. There are adult consequences that are forced onto teenagers with this subject. And that's why I think it's bad. They're not, 90% of the time, equipped to handle the consequences. .. And I don't think anyone should make decisions without being able to handle the consequences of those decisions in their entirety.
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  10. #10
    Geolectric teslashock's Avatar
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    Here's some food for thought:

    A study shows that when people (men in particular) wait until their early 20's to lose their virginity, they may become more vulnerable to physiological/psychological ailments regarding sex.

    Here's an excerpt:

    While past research has linked early sexual activity to health problems, a new study suggests that waiting too long to start having sex carries risks of its own.

    Those who lose their virginity at a later age -- around 21 to 23 years of age -- tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems later, say researchers at Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute's HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies

    The increase in sexual problems was also seen in those who had a comparably earlier sexual debut. And the researchers were quick to point out that there isn't enough evidence to say for sure whether waiting to have sex necessarily leads to sexual dysfunction down the road.

    The researchers, who looked at data from the 1996 National Sexual Health Survey, conducted by the Center for AIDS Prevention Studies (CAPS) at the University of California, San Francisco, also found that men and women who begin having sex in their early teens had their share of problems. They were more likely to have risky sexual partners, to contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and to have sex while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

    While sexuality experts not affiliated with the study agree that it is too early to draw a direct causal link about those who have sex later in life, they say the research offers some interesting new avenues for learning more about certain sexual problems that may be devastating to long-term relationships.

    "One of the many dysfunctions that arises is that women never develop the ability to ask for what they want, which leaves them open for life-long disappointment, desire disorders, orgasmic dysfunction, and worse -- they're ripe for abuse and violence," she said.

    For men, the opposite message -- that "real men score" -- may lead to negative mindsets both among those who lose their virginity early and those who become sexually active only later -- mindsets that impact their ability to perform sexually.

    Because of the intimate link between the psyche and sexual performance, some sexuality experts say the results of these conditions most likely bring about sexual dysfunction through their psychological impacts.
    The research is obviously not too conclusive, but it suggests some interesting parallels between the age at which we start having sex and our sexual health (on both ends of the spectrum, young and old). If you look closely at the article, you could discern that late teens is the best/ healthiest age to start doing it (acting under the premises laid out and loosely suggested in the research, that is).

    10 bucks says this thread will be moved to the Sexuality and Mature Topics section in due time. There's no way we can keep this discussion clean.

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