human ego is the source of paradox

[foolish heart]

"Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee." -John Donne

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." -Matthew 7:3-5



Why do people questions others but not themselves?

 

[disregard]

Other people serve as a mirror. We do not have the introspective ability to look at ourselves honestly in all cases, so often our judgments are cast upon our fellow man.

 

[Lark]

There is not as great an objective need to introspect?

By which I mean that your welfare may not hinge upon your relationship to your self as much as your relationship to the other, its a pattern begun with the dependency of infancy or the evolved survival mechanism/attachment seeking behaviour associated with it.

That's one explanation, it can depend upon cultural norms too, eastern or oriental cultures are much more introspective than western ones, norms of rectitude, listening, careful choice of words and even speech patterns all reflect that pretty major difference.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Why do people questions others but not themselves?

What exactly do you mean by "question"? Does the verb imply different things when one questions themselves, versus questioning others? When I think of questioning one's self, I tend to think you have doubts about your own abilities, while questioning others implies doubts about their genuineness and intent. Seems like we're talking about different things. Do you see it differently?

 

[foolish heart]

What exactly do you mean by "question"? Does the verb imply different things when one questions themselves, versus questioning others? When I think of questioning one's self, I tend to think you have doubts about your own abilities, while questioning others implies doubts about their genuineness and intent. Seems like we're talking about different things. Do you see it differently?

I see it in the opposite, questioning my own intent and having doubts about the abilities of others while generally assuming they have good intent.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I see it in the opposite, questioning my own intent and having doubts about the abilities of others while generally assuming they have good intent.

Okay, but then what's the paradox?

 

[foolish heart]

Okay, but then what's the paradox?

See...

Other people serve as a mirror. We do not have the introspective ability to look at ourselves honestly in all cases, so often our judgments are cast upon our fellow man.

We can't look at ourselves honesty for not knowing, and we don't know for ignorance or fear of the unknown. If we critique another, it couldn't be ignorance. Rather than implying a legitimate weakness of another, it implies weakness (fear) in ourself. There are many other human behaviors, like someone with an inordinate amount of some trait who is concerned whether they possess that trait, or the notion behind "pride comes before the fall".

In my opinion, the false ego is a parasite. It must survive and protect itself even at the detriment of its host. It's easy to see how others behaviors are self-defeating, but few people recognize they have the same parasite. Ive found the projected identity of many people is actually the opposite of reality. It's also why reverse psychology can be so effective. All in all, I can't think of a better word to call it but a paradox.

Remember the bar scene from "A Beautiful Mind" where John Nash touches on the subject of game theory? Consider that on a grand scale. "So the last will be first, and the first will be last" reflects my sentiments that the long-term fruition of human behaviors are often counter-intuitive.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

See...[disregard's post]

It sounds to me like she's talking about judging others, rather than questioning their abilities and questioning our own motivations. I'll assume we're talking about judging others and judging ourselves.

We can't look at ourselves honesty for not knowing, and we don't know for ignorance or fear of the unknown.

Can you explain that a bit more? I'm not sure I understand.

If we critique another, it couldn't be ignorance. Rather than implying a legitimate weakness of another, it implies weakness (fear) in ourself.

Here's my issue with that. To me you've just shifting the focus of your critique from another to yourself. How have you gained any ground in combating what you called the parasitic ego? Seems to me it's just found a new host.

In my opinion, the false ego is a parasite. It must survive and protect itself even at the detriment of its host. It's easy to see how others behaviors are self-defeating, but few people recognize they have the same parasite.

Good thoughts. Do you think there is a real ego?

 

[matmos]

Why do people questions others but not themselves?

I fear you are confused. Without further information you seem to be describing Fundamental Attribution Error or Actor/Observer Difference - where judgement of others is with reference to character and behaviour, whereas we more commonly ascribe situational factors to our own actions.

Related, but distinct, the Dunning–Kruger effect posits:

People tend to hold overly favorable views of their abilities in many social and intellectual domains. The authors suggest that this overestimation occurs, in part, because people who are unskilled in these domains suffer a dual burden: Not only do these people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize it. Across 4 studies, the authors found that participants scoring in the bottom quartile on tests of humor, grammar, and logic grossly overestimated their test performance and ability. Although their test scores put them in the 12th percentile, they estimated themselves to be in the 62nd. Several analyses linked this miscalibration to deficits in metacognitive skill, or the capacity to distinguish accuracy from error.

and...

Paradoxically, improving the skills of participants, and thus increasing their metacognitive competence, helped them recognize the limitations of their abilities.

Source: http://www.scirp.org/Journal/PaperDownload.aspx?paperID=883&fileName=Psych.20090100004_39584049.pdf

So there you have it. A surprisingly large number of incompetent people regard themselves as having superior skills (even against people who have a proven record); whereas people who are highly competent have a tendency to underestimate themselves.

Ask any loony boy racer how good a driver he is and he's bound to be in the top 10%, at least, by his own estimations.

Or you could ask yourself the same question.

 

[KDude]

I'm the only person I really have to live with. If I'm going to get hung up on faults, it's probably best if I got hung up on my own -- because for the most part, Joe Blow Random's problems are not going to be something I have to live with. But my problems will be. And they will remain as long as I'm going to be a wuss, and project my shit on to other people.

It isn't a bad thing to finally point out to Joe Blow some fault you know for a fact you've put some work on fixing in yourself (first getting the plank out of your own eye, so to speak), but it's hard to imagine anyone having that much conviction except on only a handful of issues. You can be a specialist, but you can't ride people's asses for everything.

 

[Chunes]

Why do people questions others but not themselves?

It's easier.

 

[Fluffywolf]

First I just have to say that the topic title is hilarious.

But to make this a more constructive post I'll go into the topic substance as well overlooking the title itself.

In my experience people that don't question themselves don't do so out of fear. Looking critically at yourself is one of the toughest things to do, and you'll risk falling into all kinds of depressions and pits. So people prefer trusting their instincts instead and just bonjour through life as is. Evading questioning themselves. It makes life in their eyes much easier.

However, I've dealt with life much differently myself, I've always been the first to question myself, and far far deeper and more critically than anyone in my surroundings ever have. I think that's more to do with being an introverted thinker though and it's kind of a prerequisite for the job.

Anyhow, I have had times when I tried to avoid questioning myselfs in order to shield myself from potential harm, but in all cases that just sort of, very annoyingly, always backfires onto myself. Because it's done with a certain level of consciousness that just doesn't really work. I pretty much have to question myself, it's like an obsession.

That said, although I agree that the general idea of being able to question yourself would in theory make the world a better place. I also know that in practicality, this would not be the case.

The method of how each of us lives our lives (weird, did I mess up spelling?) is subjective and limited to perspective. And I can think of a ton of examples where perspective could very badly influence critical self analyses. To the point it is probably better people in general don't question themselves.

However, with proper guidance and leadership, critical self analyses could be a very positive thing. But it's simply not a "do or don't" thing. There are so many aspects to the issue that should be considered before opening that door.

 

[vince]

Why do people questions others but not themselves?

we're an imperfect species.

 

[yvonne]

fluffywolf's post was very interesting and i do agree. i question myself constantly. self-searching can be a very positive thing, if you have a positive/ open outlook on life and can maintain a level of balance in functioning. also, you have to be patient with people who don't question themselves. for me that's usually the hardest part, because i know how to deal with myself. the less you care about your ego, the easier it is to question its motives and the more you know, the easier it is to accept certain realities, but also see possibilities in the framework of those realities.

 

[miss fortune]

you used one of my favorite quotes to quote at bible thumpers there!

I think that most people are blind to their own faults usually because they see WHY they are doing what they are doing and find it more forgivable. Other people, however, we can't see their motives and generally tend to be more critical- if we knew thier motives we might be less critical

That, or we're lazy and don't care... that's another option

 

[Eruca]

I dont find the plank analogy that compelling.

Couldnt he have chosen something that sounds a little less ridiculous?

 

[Amargith]

I've asked myself that question for years..