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HOWEVER I would say that in others complex trauma, attachment disorders, myriad other maladjustment, vulnerabilities or character problems can be pretty quickly labelled as homosexuality and I do indeed consider this "bad".
I'm kind of curious what aspects you have in mind here? I thought homosexuality was relatively narrowly defined, really.
In fact I find it really shocking that homosexuality promoters dont find it a bad thing too. I tend to, in my more hopeful or optimistic moments, to some kind of perceived weakness in acknowledging anything short of or different to a kind of queer theory informed all out assault on "heteronormativity". That is, everyone being a closeted bigot, there is an ever pressing need to avoid any betrayal or treachery with regard to "first principles" that everyone is infact either bisexual or homosexual.
First of all, you've talked about "homosexuality promoters" several times before, and I'm curious about what you mean. Promote in what sense? I've seen it promoted as a healthy if atypical option, but I don't think I've ever seen it promoted in the sense of "you should be gay" or "gay is better." Granted, I probably don't hang out with the queer academic theorists on the weekends, so I might just be ignorant. I do have sympathy for people wanting homosexual to be relatively stigma free... people like me feel like it was the hand we were dealt, and would prefer not to see the younger LGBT generation go through the same turmoil we did over something they can't change.
Secondly, I agree that a victim mentality is awfully tempting for a lot of people. You can see this in all walks of life. Fundamentalists feel victimized by the world or the liberals. Gay people feel victimized by others. Muslims feel victimized. Atheists feel victimized. Just about everyone can find some reason to feel victimized on some level.
And truly, I can understand why feeling like a victim is seductive. It's so easy, as a gay person, to feel horrible and responsible for the ensuing upset and condemnation. Having a period of feeling angry and hurt and justified in that is understandable. It's freeing to be able to say "yes, my family treated me shabbily" (regardless of their motivations).
However, that view is only part of the story. None of us are entirely powerless victims, nor are we all-powerful invulnerable aggressors. We all have some of both victim and aggressor within us. I think we are much healthier with we can acknowledge our shadow selves, claim them, and channel them constructively.
Otherwise, we project those darker aspects onto others, and then treat them accordingly.
Anyway, I agree that not everyone is bisexual or homosexual. I know that I can't function as a heterosexual (Lord knows I spent enough time and energy trying), so I think it would be just as obscene to force a heterosexual to act against his or her nature. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Trust me, it's not pleasant.
However, I don't see a problem allowing people who are somewhere in the middle to act accordingly. I certainly don't see how condemning people who are gay helps anyone. I hope people wouldn't want their straight daughters marrying gay men, and don't want LGBT teens committing suicide.
Then again this is in some way to do with homosexuality, strictly speaking, not simply as an orientation in private life but as a cultural identity. How that has played out has been a very bad thing but it's not the same thing as orientation per se.
What do you mean here by "cultural identity?" I think on a daily basis my life is at least as boring as the average straight person's. I'm settled and living with my partner of 17 years. I'm not going out to bars every night. I don't think I walk around with a big gay chip on my shoulder, either, nor do I assume that anytime I get negative feedback it's because the other person is a homophobe.
I don't
think I demand any more recognition than a straight person would in an equivalent situation, and I do live with less (in some cases). If anything, I tend to let minor things slide just because I don't like causing upset.
I'd critique the promotion of homosexuality at present in the same way that I would some of the other liberationist ideas, such as black liberation, womens liberation, paternalistic welfare regimes, they can and do foster victim mentalities, unrealistic and unreasonable expectations of approval from strangers or act as weak psychological compensations for individuals whose deep seated needs for parental or peer approval have been frustrated.
Generally fine with that, although, once again, I'm curious how you define "unreasonable expectations of approval." What's the line between reasonable and unreasonable? Is equivalent treatment unreasonable? Should I be fine if my brother invites me over, but explicitly disinvites my partner? Do you think homosexuals should keep the fact that they are in a relationship private? What's the line there?
I generally live with far less approval than my brothers do, but I'm actually really happy to be back in steady contact with half my family. It feels like a great gift since I had resigned myself to pretty much nothing. I don't feel like a victim, but I do feel like it's kind of a tragedy that both my twin brother and I feel hurt but unable to change our stances. I do understand his mindset, even though it is no longer my own.
Besides I dont generally think that orienations, much like personality typology, are bad per se, its the behaviour that results consequently which can be harmful to the individual and others. There are also much less healthy orientations than homosexuality and I doubt that any of the fantasies of homosexuals involving consentual adult relationships will result in temptations to commit sex offences anymore than their equivalent in heterosexuals.
Generally agreed (although again a little curious on what you see as the harmful associated behaviors). I wish it were true that gay people were LESS likely to be pedophiles, but studies show they are merely equally likely. Ho-hum.
