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  1. #51
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anabel View Post
    I have just graduated from university and am in the process of looking for a real job and possibly moving away from my parents for the first time in my life. I feel like a new chapter in my life is about to begin. For those who are older, what advice do you have for someone like me who is about to enter the 'real world'?

    This is a very open question - I like wisdom from older people on all aspects of life. If anyone would like to respond - perhaps a few dot points on what you've learnt as you've grown up, whether it be on career/money/family/love/marriage or anything else.

    Perhaps you could imagine your own child about to leave home and you only had a few points of advice to give before he/she left - what would you say?
    I should say:
    People and things are not as they look.
    Take nothing for granted.

  2. #52
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    >>bumping this, OP aside.

    Something you'll turn out to love can be given to you by someone you'll turn out to hate.

    People will use you as a wishing well if you present yourself as fluid and empty.

    It's not good to use people. It's still using even if I couldn't see.

    Revisiting the past is usually a bad idea; nothing that was there is ever ever there the same if you go back.

    Careless acts or words will sometimes be used against you, days or months or even years from the past.

    You should try before quitting.

    Some relationships are exercises in trying when you should be quitting. One of you will have already quit without saying. Don't try at all if he likes power, rushes, speed.

    To find out how deeply you should trust someone, let them know disparate bits and pieces about you and see what they do with them when they're angry. (It's easier to get over when someone goes for the jugular at the toes)

    When you find a good friend, don't ever 'throw them away.' You will not find someone to 'replace' them as an individual.

    You never really know someone over the 'net, period, and vice versa. That's a good thing, not a bad thing.

    When you see something definitely bad about someone, accept it accept it and do not rose-eye it away. It will definitely come back to bite you in the ass, hard.
    Likes Xann liked this post

  3. #53
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    You always know more than you think, but never as much as you will ever like.
    Likes Noon liked this post

  4. #54
    mercenary SiegfriedSchtauffen's Avatar
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    Always be honest with yourself. People around you are doing a lot of things the wrong way (even when it comes to some obvious and commonplace things). Don't lie to yourself and don't force yourself to do what you don't want to as a result of social pressure. If you feel about something that it's not the right thing/way then try to find a better one especially if this has a high influence over your life. Dare to be different if necessary. Take risks. High risks, high rewards. Often taking a risk and failing isn't so terrible and you can learn a lot of things. At the same time taking risks to achieve huge goals (dreams) gives you the adrenaline rush too. :-D

  5. #55
    Junior Member devaf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anabel View Post
    about to enter the 'real world'?
    You're already in it, always been. probably just under fortunate circumstances.

    Free advice is generally not as good as paid advice. (so, should you ignore all the replies?)

    Money is not everything, but its one of the closest to 'everything', in the 'real world'. (yeah, i did get the meaning of that phrase, lol)

    You have to trust trustworthy people.

    The world is a dangerous place and anything can happen at any time.

    Wash your whites separately & generally follow such type of instructions correctly. (means use common sense, dear reader, lol)
    Last edited by devaf; 06-09-2015 at 10:15 AM. Reason: punctuation
    “By our stumbling, the world is perfected.”
    ― Sri Aurobindo

  6. #56
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    It's forced on you and you didn't have a choice.

    That's enough to understand anything that comes next. Oh and accepting powerlessness is the greatest power.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  7. #57
    mercenary SiegfriedSchtauffen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    ...accepting powerlessness is the greatest power.
    Maybe I'm just misunderstanding this but to me this seems like something that sets up people for failure and acceptance of failure. Maybe you meant something different but I think a lot of people would interpret this as something that allows them to comfortably blame powerlessness instead of pushing and knowing their actual limits (that are far beyond what most would expect).

  8. #58
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anabel View Post
    I have just graduated from university and am in the process of looking for a real job and possibly moving away from my parents for the first time in my life. I feel like a new chapter in my life is about to begin. For those who are older, what advice do you have for someone like me who is about to enter the 'real world'?

    This is a very open question - I like wisdom from older people on all aspects of life. If anyone would like to respond - perhaps a few dot points on what you've learnt as you've grown up, whether it be on career/money/family/love/marriage or anything else.

    Perhaps you could imagine your own child about to leave home and you only had a few points of advice to give before he/she left - what would you say?
    Always maintain some degree of hope even when plans go awry. Also remain flexible and know that academia is a sheltered environment filled with many professors who have not been in the 'real' world all that much, so even they don't know what you will face. Let plans unfold and avoid being stuck in any one given mindset. Focus on happiness and peace more than anything. Reaching one's potential is important, but "success" can turn into an addiction, and might even be classifiable as such for the majority of people nowadays. Happiness is waaaay more important than pride.

    That's all I've got.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  9. #59
    mercenary SiegfriedSchtauffen's Avatar
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    @devaf My advices here are not (necessarily) for you, they are for OP, I just borrowed/quoted from your post.

    Quote Originally Posted by devaf View Post
    Money is not everything, but its one of the closest to 'everything', in the 'real world'. (yeah, i did get the meaning of that phrase, lol)
    Without health you have nothing. If you have health, then its probably money that can help you to achieve the most freedom in this world.

    Quote Originally Posted by devaf View Post
    Free advice is generally not as good as paid advice. (so, should you ignore all the replies?)
    ...
    You have to trust trustworthy people.
    If you enter a new area of expertise (and I'm not necessarily talking about a job or something related) or domain then its really difficult to determine who has really good knowledge. You have to gather a lot of information from random sources (I recommend books and the internet) to be able to form your own opinion (to have a best assumption, gut feeling about what is good or bad). You may think that someone you know is an expert in an area, but few years later you may realize that there are several times better "experts" who can do it much better. You just haven't spent enough time to explore the unknown. Don't trust anyone, not even yourself and always be open to search for better and better methods with large steps until you are fairly satisfied with what you have. You can always find something better so don't draw the line before becoming fulfilled with your results. You just have to define your goals, how you want to live and spend your next decade. Its much easier to explore your necessary methods and tools if you know what you want to achieve. And don't limit yourself. If you want a Ferrari then write "getting a Ferriari" on your list. If you want to explore the world, then write it on the list and your goal should be getting the resources to realize it. Reaching huge goals is very difficult and most people retreats after measuring up the necessary investment but you can become very-very motivated if you know enough and you realize that your goals can be reached only in a few years if you do things well. Having goals is essential: if you don't know where you want to go then it doesn't matter which direction you choose and the chances of getting to a meaningful point in life is much less. Group dynamics have a huge effect on people: most people are very similar to the people sorrounding them and its very difficult to start doing things in a different ways. However if someone succeeds and starts living a superior life many people become very envy. They are envy even of people who have a different life in a somewhat negative way: for example they may be envy of drunk partying rouge people who are constantly struggling with existence but may have much more freedom and colorful life than the average person. A social circle can be good to help going through your difficult days, they drag you up from the deep, but they can also drag you down if you want to fly! Many suggest that one of the easiest way to become a successful person is entering a social circle with successful people, this helps you to copy their routines, mindset, ... Social circle and the mindset you develop are very very important factors!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by devaf View Post
    The world is a dangerous place and anything can happen at any time.
    Even if you are a safe player, you may die tomorrow. This is why you should live life boldly. Take risks if the rewards are huge. Smart people take risks with huge rewards but acceptable losses in case of failure. Even if you fail you learn a lot of things. Its actually a series of failures that give you the most knowledge. Valuable knowledge is that is owned only by a few people. Most people are not willing to learn things that can be learned only by a series of failures especially if you have to take seemingly huge risks to commit those failures. In most cases however failing has much less consequences than you would expect. You have to become comfortable with failure and learning from failures.

    Quote Originally Posted by devaf View Post
    Wash your whites separately & generally follow such type of instructions correctly. (means use common sense, dear reader, lol)
    Or simply buy black clothes only. Don't over-complicate things. After gaining enough knowledge, knowing yourself and your motives enough you can develop the ability of spotting the essential factors that actually help reaching your goals. The majority of the factors have often only a tiny contribution that you can ignore if you want to focus on the most essential things. This way you can have an edge.

  10. #60
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SiegfriedSchtauffen View Post
    Maybe I'm just misunderstanding this but to me this seems like something that sets up people for failure and acceptance of failure. Maybe you meant something different but I think a lot of people would interpret this as something that allows them to comfortably blame powerlessness instead of pushing and knowing their actual limits (that are far beyond what most would expect).
    It's my phrasing I think.

    I suppose I should make it more specific, but to me if I accept that shit happens, often outside what I can influence, then I can focus on what I can influence and determinism ultimately makes what we do powerless. So accepting that gives me the power to try harder without fearing so much about insignificant things.

    Because relatively I am an insignificant thing to much that is in the universe, macro or micro.

    I tend to think of it as almost like a practical nihilism. Stops incessant worrying, which is often unnecessary.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

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