I need your advice.
How can you help an ENTJ mellow their crusade which they've been championing for several years? Especially help them to be aware and understand why not to pressure other people into their black and white view... This ENTJ usually has some kind of political topic they are passionate about, but this time as religion it affects everyone.
Case in point:
My parents have always been religious, but dad completely changed his religion 3ish years ago. Since then he's been on a continual quest to convince the world (and his family) everything that's wrong with the religion we grew up with. WE DON'T CARE! It's gotten better after several years, partially because we've told him we aren't interested in debating (incorrect generalizations of that church) with him. But still crusading after 3-4 years? Who cares about shooting holes in the previous religion. I'm sorry your parents made you feel controlled and legalistic. But can't we move on?
My other greater concern is my INFP(?) mom. She hates confrontation, but as a result of this judgemental view of right and wrong, she hasn't been able to see at all her friends of 17 years from the other church. Oldest sister and I are concerned about her wellbeing, since these are really the only friends she has to talk to as a stay-at-home mom. I think dad feels a particular need to have mom on his b/w side of the view because she is spouse and lives with him...
So my question is, what is the most non-controversial way to help him realize he needs to let her go and make her decisions?
- explained to him we feel pressured from him to be his new religion, and don't appreciate that. He has cut back alot, but still views everybody else as wrong.
Don't mean to be negative, my dad is a wonderful person in other ways. Just that irresistible Fe of mine trying to look out for everybody.
I talked to mom recently, she said she hadn't been able to go in a year (used to go every weekend), and when she did go, dad grilled her on every detail of the sermon. He felt betrayed that she went to church A instead of supporting church B and that she was "damned". He thinks she should make new friends at church B and any association with friends from church A is supporting that religion. (Even a mid-week prayer meeting.) Of course INFP mom doesn't care about theology, she just misses her friends. She told me she doesn't have anything in common with the people at church B, because they have such a different lifestyle. But she sounded almost unwilling to explain to dad her needs because it would result in a religious debate and conflict. *sigh*
She can push her own needs out of the way for fear of crossing his strong will and making him all upset, but that isn't healthy. (She recently stood up for her beliefs and he became very upset. Couple days later he came to her worried about high blood pressure from the stress of their conversation.)