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  1. #21
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Cool rain. Rain makes me feel calm. I can handle most things better when it's raining. (gee, wonder if I'm Scottish...)
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #22
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    My peace is the moment right after I accomplish something I've invested in emotionally. I am totally satisfied for maybe a minute before my mind starts going into overdrive again, but that minute is entirely worth it. It's like a weight is temporarily lifted off my shoulders and I feel lighter. What a fantastic feeling.

    It's REALLY hard for me to achieve any sort of lasting peace, though. I've frequently wished my brain had an off button and my perfectionism prevents me from being completely satisfied with anything. I also have a very hard time just "being". There's always something I can be working on...

    I try to talk myself into just enjoying the present and if I can achieve that, I bet I could find that lasting peace. Maybe.

  3. #23
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post
    It's REALLY hard for me to achieve any sort of lasting peace, though. I've frequently wished my brain had an off button and my perfectionism prevents me from being completely satisfied with anything. I also have a very hard time just "being". There's always something I can be working on...
    The lovely blight that is an NFJ existence. I can't find the off switch either.

    I try to talk myself into just enjoying the present and if I can achieve that, I bet I could find that lasting peace. Maybe.
    If you find a way to stay in the present, let me know. I can't do it. I'm either looking back over my shoulder or far into the distance. It's as if the present doesn't exist.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #24
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    Default If I could only remember how to "hide" some text...

    Earlier this year I experienced a perfect peace. While I didn't like the circumstances under which it arrived, it was not only indescribable, it was beyond anything I could do to create or recreate it myself.

    Not sure how much backstory is needed and I don't want to drone on for story that doesn't end w/a huge bang. I work in the cable side of a big studio, primarily dealing with two networks. One that's older and more established, which is always my priority, and then a newer channel that actually creates a larger quantity of work for me. One atty, who shortly before she left was made VP, hated me from day one. Don't know why, exactly, just one of those things. We'd actually get along great at times but then she'd always smile to my face, stab me in the back, si la Hllywd. For those of you scoring along at home, she tested (on a short test) as an ENTJ. When you first see her that's exactly what you'd think she was. But by her work ethic, or lack thereof, you could see she's more of an ENTP. Though it was not in the job description, 25% of my workload was spent mopping up after her. I kid you not!

    It would always have to deal w/money and because big studios=bureaucracy, my hands were perpetually tied in getting people/entities paid quick enough, which resulted in a lot of anger being directed my way. And from the least-in-need, most self-absorbed it could best be described as tantrums. That wasn't actually so bad, bion, it was said VP going around and blaming me for all the things she didn't do. It really sucked but for the most part I could handle it. It never reached my boss, (who worked for older network). Everyone in finance and A/P knew it was never my fault.

    One time, however, I chose not to handle things in a godly manner. As a result, I got sent home early (w/out pay) and have a letter of the incident included in my file.

    A-hem, moving on. VP announces she's changing coasts and taking a new gig. The dept was growing anyway but they hired another atty that was to deal exclusively w/the newer network. I'd call her the Replicant. Physically stunning, very agile and tireless, but I'm almost certain she's soulless and would crush anyone to death at the bat of an eye. If I were to guess type I'd say ESTJ. <insert gasps here>.

    After a short period of outgoing VP indoctrinating her, Replicant starts where VP left off. Only she's more pro-active and pushing to get me fired. We don't even know each other. I've never screwed anything up for her but when something would come up that the old VP never took care of, Replicant would send out these accusatory e-mails, cc'ing the SVP of the dept. She wasn't that high up. It's not like I even worked for her. Of course at this point I'm pretty much a capon. No matter how bad things got, I figured I say one word, IT's wiping my hard drive and security's taking my badge and escorting me off the lot. She'd literally put, "if you can't do your job, then maybe we can find a temp who can." I'm thinking who the f- are you? What I really hated more was that it seemed like I was a little punk too afraid to challenge her.

    I did have one great chance to clown her but instead simply went through policy and pointed out ways she was misinformed in one her "I'll include the big boss and build a case against Spartan" e-mails. Part of the thing that made me so upset was that she'd say all these slanderous things to people and I never got my day in court. No one was defending me or my history there. Her accusations were never made in front of people who knew I wasn't part of the problem. Just my rep and my name being tarnished on a daily basis. I was already isolated enough, (as weird "INTP" guy), but now others were starting to resent me and I had no idea what more was being blamed on me.

    But I prayed for her. Had my friends pray for her. Honestly, I never really disliked her. I'd go out of my way to be cordial w/her though not insincerely, but it did make me feel really stupid sometimes for trying or even wasting my breath. One thing I learned about NT's is our need to be viewed as competent. While I've definitely gotten burned out of some jobs in the past and sloughed off, never had I had my ability, aptitude or character questioned. It really made me miserable and angry and frustrated and :steam:

    Everyone knows that one image of Christianity being "Repent or go to hell!" What no one mentions is the fine print, of Jesus not only wanting you to give up your sins but your virtues as well to follow him. There was no big earth movement. No speaking in tongues nor seven hour prayer. One evening after work I just said I wasn't going to worry about my reputation. As much as I wanted to tell others about the things Replicant had screwed up or as much as I wanted to be able to just clear things up and at least answer the charges against me, I told God that I wasn't going to try to fight, whatever happens happens, and I wasn't going to worry or concern myself w/trying to save my name.

    Right then a washing of tranquility - I feel like a televangelist here. I will say pure serenity filled me. I was like floating internally in an ambient fluid. It was warm. I felt so relaxed. Calm but euphoric. I was at my lowest but I never wanted to stay in one spot more. It was 1000x better than a toasty bed on a cold winter morning. Better than nitrous you get at the dentist. Better than any praise, compliment or award I'd ever received.

    I can't remember how long it lasted but it did wear off. Replicant was still ugly and nasty to me the next day. Either not as bad or it didn't bother me as much. But soon there was a marked shift. There was some company that didn't get paid. A massive e-mail chain was already underway before I got into work one day, with you can guess blaming you know who. Someone else at the channel messed up. It was actually something the old VP had left undone but the person in finance didn't know the history and didn't respond in the urgency the sit demanded.

    I sent out an e-mail stating how the problem could be solved and general "these things happen and we know what to do in the future, blah, blah, belch." That wasn't good enough for Replicant. She calls me in her office wanting a full explanation. So I tell her. Then answer all of her questions. Then she let's out a disgusted humpt and says, "Well, by your e-mail you made it look like it was your fault!" That was funny, I thought I had worded it so no one was being blamed but I guess in that she (and maybe most people) took it as me being wrong and having no one else to pass it off on.

    I couldn't understand why she'd mind me looking bad for someone else's mistake when she'd spent so much time trying to pin false charges on me, herself. It was then that something clicked for her. As much as she'd dragged my name through trailer park, she couldn't believe that I'd still take a bullet for a co-worker/friend. What astonished me was that maybe a week or two later something happened w/some small prod company not getting a check when they thought they would and instead of blaming me, instead of blaming someone in A/P who may've been responsible for the delay, Replicant gave a general "sorry for the inconvenience, we'll get this straightened out" non-accusatory response. I was so shocked! Later, I was talking to someone from the prod co and she thought it was Replicant who'd screwed up by her response. I said no it was really either the system or someone else (but I'll someday give you a list of things she has done wrong. )

    Today, Replicant and I are not friends. She will, though, actually make eye contact and say hi when we pass each other in the hall. But there is a peace between us. She'll even ask for help from me and will admit when she's confused about something. I don't think I could ask for anything more.

  5. #25
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    spartan26: Wow, thanks for your story. I think it really shows how instead of trying to control our environment to achieve peace, we're better off strengthening ourselves and changing our perception of things. When we manage to do that, we finally become unattainable.

    That person would not change and there was nothing you could do about it. When she realized that you did not care anymore about whatever she did, she realized she had no power over you. The fact that you continued to treat her politely just made it even worse for her... As a matter of interest, would you have reasons to think that this woman was attracted by you? You said you two got along great at times. Maybe, as an INTP, your attitude made her feel rejected and she felt you didn't like her... and her ego took a blow.

    But still, it's a nice story. It shows that we have the power to let things affect us or not. We can't change others, we can only change ourselves...

  6. #26
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    My peace is in the way I interpret the universe (at my best) and the way I understand grace - that I am imperfect and flawed and that I am loved all the same... that I am a valuable part of something larger than myself all the same...

    When I am able to see this as my reality and incorporate it into my human interactions, I am most at peace.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    As a matter of interest, would you have reasons to think that this woman was attracted by you? You said you two got along great at times. Maybe, as an INTP, your attitude made her feel rejected and she felt you didn't like her... and her ego took a blow.
    I actually did kind of wonder that but more so with the second one. I'm sure she has her ideal guy in mind and I'm certain that I don't fit into that description. I was of course nice to her when she first started but even before we had beef I could see she was rather self-centered and unpleasant. It was hard for me to imagine that someone so opposite of me could like me. Certain opposites I can understand and have gone out with but then they were...humane. I wondered if there wasn't a certain amount of fawning by me that she was expecting regardless of whether she liked me or not. Another female at the network picked up right away that she was high maintenance, which I'd agree with, but the amount of anger she'd have like if I wouldn't drop everything to answer one of her e-mails really made me wonder what was going on underneath. Not sure if she was part of the impetus behind me starting a thread on knowing when anger = desire, but it sure would tuck neatly in under the category of WTF?

    The VP who left was happier complaining than anything else. Most people coddled her but I never did. I could see how that could raise a snarl on some people's faces but it was months down the line, some time after we'd worked up a decent rapport, before I would question stuff like why would a single person who doesn't cook and can't stand leftovers buy a 26 cu ft side-by-side refrigerator?

    I'm pretty sure she didn't trust me from the getgo. Some conversations I had w/her assist confirmed it. I don't know when the distant intp misinterp rejection may've happened. Granted they were never "dates" but I did invite out to things socially or even when I was going to one of her favorite restaurants at lunch. Generally the frustration over being ignored ends after the first invitation. Not with her if that was the case.

    Getting back on thread...I hadn't really thought of it like that but I'd say you were right on w/your assessment. I don't think it was all me. Second, I'd prolly reiterate the letting go of something I was proud of. I think there are times when giving or getting rid of something brings more peace and joy than acquiring or holding on. Not that I'm that determined but it's something I need to not keep so buried in the back of my mind.

  8. #28
    Senior Member vince's Avatar
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    walks with my dog
    the first 3 minutes after sex
    ceasefires on the news
    the discovery of new planets
    & the likes

  9. #29
    Senior Member Sandy's Avatar
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    1) For the moment, curled up on my brown stuffed chair, reading or doing a wordfind. And then napping when I get tired and then going back to my reading or wordfind (and then napping at will... etc).

    2) When both of my boys were here, it was great to just know they were both in the house doing something that they enjoyed and not outside where they could get hurt. (worry wart)

    3) Praying and other boring religious stuff...

    -Sandy
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  10. #30
    Member The Unknown Essence's Avatar
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    Peace is essentially self-contentment, so you can never find peace by searching for it in other people or possesions. My personal peace is sustained by my worldview, which is that every person is an island, so the idea of basing your happyness on other people, even your own family, is wrong. Also I believe in God, so I know there is a greater reality than my own existence. Therefore I don't stress myself out by worrying about things that are out of my control.

    In terms of the situation I am most at peace in, it is solitude. I spend the majority of my time alone. Freedom from people allows me to live in my own thoughts and ideas. As a philosopher once said "He who does not love solitude, does not love peace." That statement is absolutely true.
    "But only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be." - Dead Poets Society

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