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How can we create a personality we desire?

coberst

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How can we create a personality we desire?

Personal heroism by means of individualism is a task requiring courage and self-confidence. Courage and self-confidence are characteristics of few sapiens, young or old. It is a path less traveled because it imposes terrifying burdens; these burdens display themselves by isolation from the common herd. “This move exposes the person to the sense of being completely crushed and annihilated because he sticks out so much, has to carry so much in himself.”

Personal heroism demands that one exposes her self, i.e. s/he sticks out dramatically from the herd. Those creative types who expose themselves so must create their own justification. Herein we find something that may seem illogical “the more you develop as a distinctive free and critical human being, the more guilt you have. Your very work accuses you; it makes you feel inferior. What right do you have to play God?” By what authority do you presume to introduce new meaning into the world?

Otto Rank was a colleague of Freud and, like Jung, carried theories far beyond those which Freud created. “Freud’s reality psychology emphasized essentially the influence of outer factor, of the outer milieu, upon the development of the individual and the formation of character,…I [was] opposed to this biological principle, the spiritual principle which alone is meaningful in the development of the essentially human.”

For Freud the id is the nucleus of being and it, the id, is subject to the natural laws. In such a frame the personality consists of layers of identification that “form the basis of the parental super-ego.” This might be properly considered to be the spiritual structure of the average individual, i.e. the average personality results from the natural influences developed against the naturally evolved super-ego.

Such a theory accounts for the average but does not account for the two creative extremes: the creative type and the so-called “neurotic” type. I would label the average personality to be a reactive individual; an individual who goes with the flow.

There are two personality types that make up the proactive personality: one creative type squeezes him or her self into a tight ball in reaction to the inner and outer milieu, i.e. the so-called “neurotic” and the second creative type who creates a personality wherein the ego “is strong just in the degree to which it is the representative of this primal force and the strength of this force represented in the individual we call will.”

This second creative type, which Rank identifies as the creative type while he identifies the other creative type as the “neurotic”, creates “voluntarily from the impulsive elements and moreover to develop his standards beyond the identifications of the super-ego morality to an ideal formation which consciously guides and rules this creative will in terms of the personality.”

“The essential point in this process is the fact that he evolves his ego ideal from himself, not merely on the ground of the given but also of self-chosen factors which he strives after consciously.”


Quotes from Will Therapy and Truth and Reality by Otto Rank
 

Mole

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Such a theory accounts for the average but does not account for the two creative extremes: the creative type and the so-called “neurotic” type. I would label the average personality to be a reactive individual; an individual who goes with the flow.

And you can measure yourself against MBTI.

For on this site, MBTI is the flow.

So do you go with the flow and so are a reactive individual?

Do you, as the Bible asks, "Find it hard to kick against the pricks?", and find it easier to go with the flow?

Or are you a creative or neurotic type?

How you react to the flow of MBTI will tell you.
 

Blank

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Wear a mask.

With a mask, you can be anyone you want to be.

It's a little coincidental that most superheroes wear masks, but their masks hide their insecurities and their flaws.

So wear a mask.

Wear a mask and be happy today.
 

nolla

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How can we create a personality we desire?

Personal heroism by means of individualism is a task requiring courage and self-confidence. Courage and self-confidence are characteristics of few sapiens, young or old. It is a path less traveled because it imposes terrifying burdens; these burdens display themselves by isolation from the common herd. “This move exposes the person to the sense of being completely crushed and annihilated because he sticks out so much, has to carry so much in himself.”

Before courage and self-confidence there is pain caused by the end of the path you were on. The path can end in many ways, but the main thing is that you see it as a dead end for the person you are. The person you are is powerless to make the right choices. You need to change. Then you fall into a depression and try to figure out a way you could change. If you are lucky you don't believe in faking your way out of it. From somewhere you find the core of the problem and focus on it. You face the demon, you heal the wound, you are transformed. Then you will get to the courage and self-confidence. But that is only natural, as you just did the hardest thing you've ever done. You are a hero.


Personal heroism demands that one exposes her self, i.e. s/he sticks out dramatically from the herd. Those creative types who expose themselves so must create their own justification. Herein we find something that may seem illogical “the more you develop as a distinctive free and critical human being, the more guilt you have. Your very work accuses you; it makes you feel inferior. What right do you have to play God?” By what authority do you presume to introduce new meaning into the world?

If you did the journey and cured the wound, this isn't the situation. You don't have guilt, because you aren't doing anything wrong and you know it. You don't even necessarily stick out that much. Certainly your sticking out doesn't need to be negative. The hero doesn't have to be ashamed for what he is (though I like Blank's idea about masks).
 

Soujiro

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Wear a mask.

With a mask, you can be anyone you want to be.

It's a little coincidental that most superheroes wear masks, but their masks hide their insecurities and their flaws.

So wear a mask.

Wear a mask and be happy today.

lol, actually superheroes wear mask to hide their identity ;)
 

Soujiro

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That is still the best way to hide insecurities and flaws...

If you are talking about "hide insecurities and flaws" in the context of this thread, then yes a mask can be used to hide that. Whether it is the best way or not is debatable.
But I was talking in terms of superheroes in cartoons. They wear mask not to hide insecurities or flaws, but so people don't know that they are a superhero. So villains don't use their loved ones for ransom, so they don't have a 10 mile line of fans waiting at their door each day, etc.
 

Blank

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Superheroes are often insecure because they know they could not protect the ones they loved if everyone knew who they were. As a superhero, you are inhuman, you have no flaws. Once you take that away, you just have another human desperately scrambling to keep his/her life in order.
 

coberst

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Before courage and self-confidence there is pain caused by the end of the path you were on. The path can end in many ways, but the main thing is that you see it as a dead end for the person you are. The person you are is powerless to make the right choices. You need to change. Then you fall into a depression and try to figure out a way you could change. If you are lucky you don't believe in faking your way out of it. From somewhere you find the core of the problem and focus on it. You face the demon, you heal the wound, you are transformed. Then you will get to the courage and self-confidence. But that is only natural, as you just did the hardest thing you've ever done. You are a hero.




If you did the journey and cured the wound, this isn't the situation. You don't have guilt, because you aren't doing anything wrong and you know it. You don't even necessarily stick out that much. Certainly your sticking out doesn't need to be negative. The hero doesn't have to be ashamed for what he is (though I like Blank's idea about masks).

I think that Socrates is a good example of the hero.

One can imagine his inner turmoil when considering that his fellows want him dead. Such a hero must have very strong convictions and self-confidence that was developed after constant hours of feeling guilt because he was going against the grain of most of his fellows. He was creating new meaning and what gives him the right to do so.
 

nolla

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If you are talking about "hide insecurities and flaws" in the context of this thread, then yes a mask can be used to hide that. Whether it is the best way or not is debatable.
But I was talking in terms of superheroes in cartoons. They wear mask not to hide insecurities or flaws, but so people don't know that they are a superhero. So villains don't use their loved ones for ransom, so they don't have a 10 mile line of fans waiting at their door each day, etc.

Well, superheros are continuing the ancient hero archtype. The fact that they often have masks is interesting. Even if they are protecting their loved ones, it is still in a way "flaw" for them to have them, as they see themselves unable to be what they are in broad daylight. I think it comes close to modern day hero masking himself as a normal person in order to not hurt friends with "weird" behavior.


I think that Socrates is a good example of the hero.

One can imagine his inner turmoil when considering that his fellows want him dead. Such a hero must have very strong convictions and self-confidence that was developed after constant hours of feeling guilt because he was going against the grain of most of his fellows. He was creating new meaning and what gives him the right to do so.

I think the self-confidence comes from him being rock solid about his ideas. The guilt might have been present if he considered the options: To do the right thing or to live in harmony with the people. But still, he was so devoted to the ideas that he needed to place them higher than the people. In fact, that is more like placing the long term success higher than the short term.

What I want to say is that the guilt didn't bring the confidence (it was already there), but maybe it helped him to get a more clear picture, to see the essence of the question. After that the guilt must have also left, as there was no need for it anymore now that his mind was set.
 

Soujiro

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Well, superheros are continuing the ancient hero archtype. The fact that they often have masks is interesting. Even if they are protecting their loved ones, it is still in a way "flaw" for them to have them, as they see themselves unable to be what they are in broad daylight. I think it comes close to modern day hero masking himself as a normal person in order to not hurt friends with "weird" behavior.

You see I have a hard time listening to you and trusting you.

You see the thing is you have a baby with horns in your avatar, a devilish baby. I usually assume that the person who writes a comment is the person in their avatar, even though that is clearly wrong, lol I mean some people have avatars of creatures and what not but I always imagine the person's avatar saying the words they write. That means that when I read your post, I assume that the devilish baby is the one saying it. The thing is that we generally associate devils with lies and deceipt. So even though your words might be truthful, just because you are a devil I still have a hard time listening to you. You see if you had an avatar of you in your original form, red skin-long tail-trident in one hand-etc, I wouldn't even give you a second chance. So you had to transform into something cute to try and atleast decieve me.
The thing though is that when devils transform they still retain their horns, so that people would be able to tell the difference between angels and demons even in a transformed state. God created this fail safe at the last minute so that demons couldn't pose as angels. In other words if you are approached by an angel and a demon with advice, and fail to distinguish who to listen to cause they both are in human form, the safest way would be to not listen to the person with horns, hence a fail safe.
The problem with this fail safe is that it doesn't take into account the fact that a demon might be succeptible to change. It assumes that a demon will always be devilish. Lets say that a devil were to turn over a new leaf and were to actually give honest advice, people won't still listen to him cause of his horns. So you see it's like devils are subjected to a life of rejection, regardless of whether they change or not. If angels get better benefits in heaven than demons do in hell, then you can assume that some demons might want to change to get those benefits, but the fail safe prevents that. Then again could God have created this fail safe so that there will always be angels and demons, and demons could never become angels, and people would always have a "good" and "bad" voice in their head telling them what to do.
This is currently the problem I have with you. You might be a nice and truthful person, you might give great advice and all your words are filled with so much wisdom that anyone would be foolish not to listen, and infact you might have "turned over a new leaf", but the fail safe prevents me from trusting you. If that makes any sense.

Sorry for straying off topic
 

nolla

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I have the same problem with angry avatars. Everything they say seems different than if they didn't have an avatar at all. When I designed the avatar I was actually going for "devil vs saint" (the circle around the head is used in many religions as a sign of a saint, prophet, sage and so on) and the dilemma of the gray areas.

But that reminds me. I have met a real satanist only once, and he described to me how he turned to satanism and what satanism meant to him. I felt that his experience was very close to eastern religions. He didn't want to hurt anyone or anything, but in his mind he raised himself above god. Some people say that all mysticism has same source since we all have same collective unconscious. A person just fills the gaps with symbols that he understands as holy. A satanist might be more pure than some priests.
 

proximo

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Might be more efficient to simply learn to desire the personality you already have: to choose what you've got, in short.

Since most psychologists say that a lot of our less desirable behaviours stem from subconscious self-loathing, low self-esteem and other things that result from our simply not accepting ourselves as we are, surely the first stage in improving oneself is to accept oneself?

Say: I know I could use some improvement, but so could everybody. I'm not gonna beat myself up about my failings - I'm just gonna learn what they are, forgive myself for them, and work on them bit by bit, not forgetting to get feedback from people I trust.
 

nolla

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May 22, 2008
Messages
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Might be more efficient to simply learn to desire the personality you already have: to choose what you've got, in short.

Since most psychologists say that a lot of our less desirable behaviours stem from subconscious self-loathing, low self-esteem and other things that result from our simply not accepting ourselves as we are, surely the first stage in improving oneself is to accept oneself?

Say: I know I could use some improvement, but so could everybody. I'm not gonna beat myself up about my failings - I'm just gonna learn what they are, forgive myself for them, and work on them bit by bit, not forgetting to get feedback from people I trust.

Yeah, that is a good point. No one really changes into anything new, they just are more of what they potentially can be. It isn't really a personality changing, it is more like getting rid of unnecessary fears and inhibitions.
 

proximo

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Quite :)

I see the superhero mask as a) a continuation of the traditional theme whereby people who are somehow superhuman have to always have a flaw, some handicap. Always the way in all the legends. And b) an allusion to the idea that those who do right, and great things in the name of right, the greater and righter (righterer? lolz) they are, the more enemies they'll have, so they've got to hide for their own personal safety. IOW, to avoid the Jesus fate of being nailed up for speaking too much truth and being too much good, they've got to hide, or display some handicap that makes them more tolerable.
 
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