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  1. #71
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    I'm very modest except when it comes to my intellect, which I will defend, but that is likely because of my skewed self-perception due to bullying and mental issues associated with genetic factors and mostly childhood traumas.

    And I'm not tactful at all. I can't BE tactful even when I try. My Fe is a tube sock that fell behind the dryer, and I think it is too far gone to get back, even with the longest broom in the closet. As it is I'm incredibly blunt.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  2. #72
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gewitter27 View Post
    My Fe is a tube sock that fell behind the dryer, and I think it is too far gone to get back, even with the longest broom in the closet.
    Nicely put. Worthy of adopting as a signature if I actually had one. Pure awesome.

  3. #73
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Nicely put. Worthy of adopting as a signature if I actually had one. Pure awesome.
    Awww thanks.

    400th post!
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  4. #74
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liminality View Post
    I'm preetttyyyy conflict avoidant, debates make me come out in a cold sweat, the shakes and often tears (I'm not even kidding). It depends on the situation really, I've had problems with being way too blunt, where people (usually my family) end up ing, but also the opposite if I'm scared of the outcome, or think it's best.

    I'm one of those externally (when in the right company) warm, fuzzy and conflict avoidant INFPs.
    This is very much in keeping with my experience with INFPs. They won't debate me because they don't like one-upmanship...they're quite good during sharing type discussions but will just shut down when questioned. I can see how INFPs could come across as blunt. It's a different kind of blunt. Sometimes, I think they are so self-focused, they forget that there's an outside world to consider. They are lost in their internal world of feelings like the INTPs and their ideas....need a loud bell sometimes to remind them that authenticity does not preclude consideration of other people's desires/needs

    If it felt llike it were to violate my sense of ethics, and innate personal goodness I'd be blunt as a skyscraper. It's really quite selfcentered. I don't say this for pity, it's true, it's based around how I feel at the time/respond to the situation/think it'll pan out.
    I see that in the INFPs in my life too and they're just as honest about it being a personality trait. I really enjoy the warm and healing touch you guys have though. When you sense vulnerability, you can be so present in just listening and providing understanding. It always takes me by surprise.

  5. #75
    Senior Member Liminality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Nicely put. Worthy of adopting as a signature if I actually had one. Pure awesome.
    D'aww, seconded. You try, that's very commendable, it'd be like if I attempted to have heavy Ni and Se. *shudder*

    Ahh, missed your post there ergophobe, yeah, when I do acctually get into a debate I get really (This sort happened once, -never- again), really, embarrasingly stubborn, explode inside, then sulk if the person even gently tries to tell me I'm wrong.

    The INFP lovin' is wonderful...Did I mention that? My overdue, unstarted french homework may as well not even exist.
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    It's not that it's bad, it's not that it's death
    It's just on the tip of your tongue, and you're so silent

  6. #76

    Default modest != nice

    we want to hide our errors, so that we don't get made fun of.
    but in reality, by being modest, you are not sharing your gifts.

    when i give someone a gift, of course, i would try my hardest on it. but if you are too shy to give someone presents, because you're afraid they will ridicule you, i feel the person is missing the whole idea of sharing -it's not about you.

    and even if you aren't a master, you can create handy tutorials.

    the immodest make me laugh sometimes, and at least i learn a bit from them.

  7. #77
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Fascinating topic. I think tact/modesty has it's place in certain circumstances and with certain people because you may want to protect someone's innocence and self-esteem (like in the case with children). It can, as been said in this thread, be deceptive though, and in the case of someone who values honesty more, it can feel betraying.

    I do find it interesting that Fluffywolf finds it easy to be modest in his work relationships but not so much in his interpersonal relationships. At first I thought he cared more about his work relationships and didn't want to upset them, but I think what he meant was that he highly values honesty and cares less about his work relationships people, and therefore, it's not so hard for him to deceive them.

  8. #78
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    All one really needs to consider is: what are the consequences of what one is about to say and how one plans to say it; and is one willing to accept them?

  9. #79

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    Tact or diplomacy is the attempt to unite truth with respect (courtesy) if you care enough about the person that you are imparting it to. If I do not manage this task that I assign to myself routinely, the fault is my own and I hope the recipient does not hold it against me.

    IME, people who lack a particular skill are more likely to question its value rather than acknowledge their difficulty with it. For example, I am dreadful with memory and chemistry, but I do not question their merits or suspect they are subversive to the future or spirituality.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  10. #80
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    iwakar, hi!!!

    Welcome back.

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