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View Poll Results: Have you ever felt like you belonged somewhere?

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  1. #1

    Default Sense of belonging

    Have you ever felt like you belonged somewhere?

    Have you ever not felt like an outsider of sorts, struggling to find a place where you can truly be yourself and still be accepted?

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  2. #2
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I have felt it fleetingly at times, but it usually doesn't last, nor does it go as deep as I would like it to.

    I think some of this is just something for me to get used to about myself. Some of us were not made to put down roots in a way that provides so much security. Take what intimacy and acceptance I can get, and not fret about it...
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #3
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Only with my husband. I belong wherever he is.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  4. #4
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    But the fact of not belonging anywhere makes you belong in the group of people who belong nowhere.

    Outsiders form a group of people that are insiders when they're together.

    You know, it's a bit like the antisocials getting together in the name of anarchy and adopting their own dress code, etc. In the end, you always belong somewhere.

  5. #5
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I feel like I belong when I'm with my friends. Otherwise, they wouldn't be friends. Also with people I care for significantly.

    I never had that feeling until I got to university though. In high school I attributed it to something being wrong with me (and took some warped pride in it, I must admit), but later I realized that it was only the people I was surrounding myself with, along with my attitude at the time.

    It's a very common adolescent thing, isn't it?

  6. #6
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    But the fact of not belonging anywhere makes you belong in the group of people who belong nowhere.

    Outsiders form a group of people that are insiders when they're together.

    You know, it's a bit like the antisocials getting together in the name of anarchy and adopting their own dress code, etc. In the end, you always belong somewhere.
    Good point... although I am laughing to myself now because INTPc is full of people who do not belong, who then tell other people who doesn't belong with the unbelongers. (e.g., many of the people at MBTIc were told they didn't belong at INTPc... so they're here.)

    Sociological recursion -- oh, I'm getting dizzy...

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    ...It's a very common adolescent thing, isn't it?
    Yup, that is what I think, now that I am watching everyone else go through this process. Many of the young 'uns at INTPc are in that stage; but once they get into their mid-20's and later, I think the feeling will diminish for most of them.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #7
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I feel like I don't completely belong anywhere I've been, yet I feel that I have something in common with most people as well. I feel understood better by some people than others. It's hard to explain. I would say that I don't belong in a specific place or a group, as much as I belong with people who understand a particular idea, who feel a certain way, similar to the way I feel. But if a place or group contains such people, I'll certainly be drawn to it.

  8. #8
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Sociological recursion -- oh, I'm getting dizzy...
    It's not really recursion. INTPc is an example of "nationalism". Anyone of the same flag is "included" and anyone who isn't is "excluded". The end result is that group identity is based around symbolism - in this case, INTP. Likewise with nationalism, the insiders are trained to act in accordance to "the customs and traditions" of "the nation". Behaviour is moderated and and deviancy is attacked.

    The irony, of course, is that the motto is really "Conform to our expected behaviour and you will be welcomed", the very thing that they are fighting against.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    But the fact of not belonging anywhere makes you belong in the group of people who belong nowhere.

    Outsiders form a group of people that are insiders when they're together.

    You know, it's a bit like the antisocials getting together in the name of anarchy and adopting their own dress code, etc. In the end, you always belong somewhere.
    Not sure. I have found myself in many an 'outcast' group and feel like I am only friends with them in that context (usually a shared interest). I tend to help people out , and them me, in most cases.

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    It's a very common adolescent thing, isn't it?
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Yup, that is what I think, now that I am watching everyone else go through this process. Many of the young 'uns at INTPc are in that stage; but once they get into their mid-20's and later, I think the feeling will diminish for most of them.
    It is common in adolescents, but I frankly feel more like I don't belong now (past mid 20's) than I did in HS (I actually almost felt like I belonged, then), College or even early working periods. It is actually a growing feeling, not a shrinking one.

    But, I largely attribute this to a growing anti-intellectual culture in the country I live in (and the industry I work for). Since the dot-com bust, there has also been a distinct 'anti-techie' sentiment also (w/ no new boom in sight, that sentiment still pervades). I find it somewhat ironic, since the dot-com types were distinctly not 'techie' but simply greedy (and may or may not have employed techie types).

    So, I will continue to hide my thoughts to keep the limited sense of belonging I do have (till an opportunity to be myself arises).

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  10. #10
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I generally feel like I belong wherever I am- it's very rare I feel that I don't belong somewhere (i.e. the dentist's office, Walmart, the house of someone I really don't like). This may have something to do with always feeling like I have claim to the place by being there (like my dog or something) and am merely surveying my territory- I don't know!

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