I don't think it's a bad one, and you have the N connection there.Yes, this is what I am getting at and why I think ENTP male / INFJ female is a good match.
More interesting to me is how I more often have seen ENTP and ISFJ matches. The INFJ female can get more ethereal sometimes (and, uh, not "carnal" enough)... whereas the physical affection level of ENTP and ISFJ might fit together better... I guess, I really don't know. And like I said, I have seen more commonly INFJ women go for S guys...
If ENTP and INFJ is a good matchup, is the S better for the INFJ (and why?) and so he wins out... or is it simply because there are more S guys to choose from vs ENTP guys?
I find the gender thing easier to examine where there is overlap, or one side attempting to be the other and seeing how successful it is. Sorry for the long story, but I think it emphasizes that there ARE some gender differences that express themselves in the middle of the bell curve even if there's quite a variety of people in either gender.Go for it. You are very insightful.
I was out with some friends a few weekends ago, and one of the people out with us was a crossdresser. She's in her 50's, works as a salesman for a living, is probably ESTP type, and classes herself as a "woman" (she'd complain if someone in the all-female group used the word "guys" to refer to everyone).... but her only outfits consisted of clubbing clothes (leather boots, black hose, black mini) and moreover she was exhibiting what came across as male behavior.
I had forgotten that the driver had not visited my city, so I ended up giving her directions a bit late to make the turn (I was in the back seat) and the city also has quite a number of one-way streets of which I haven't memorized the map completely; and the CD'er riding copilot immediately started cutting me down in a way that I perceived as very masculine... the way that guys talk when they rip on each other's abilities -- things like, "She obviously has no clue what she's talking about" and "You don't have any idea how to give directions" and other comments like that.
This went on for most of the evening -- at one point, I thought a certain bar was only 3-4 blocks away, and it ended up being 6-8 blocks depending on how you determine a block (I think in terms of "main roads" as blocks and the buildings do change numbers based on when THOSE blocks change; but there are very thin side streets that I guess you could try to label as "blocks" too.) And she would cut me down repeatedly for this sort of thing.
Note: I have never had another woman of ANY type talk to me this way, even when they've been poking fun at mistakes I've made. I also got the impression she wasn't doing it to be mean, to me it was just how she was used to thinking and interacting with other people. Again, it reminded me of how guys seem to spar for dominance and show their strength in the more traditionally male groups.
Finally when we were driving somewhere else, when I went to give the driver advice on which lane to be in (because for this particular on-ramp you have to go right in order to go left on the highway, it loops under and is deceptive), and she talked right over top me and said, "Don't listen to her, she doesn't know WHAT the hell she's talking about, you'll just get lost if you listen to HER!" And she didn't laugh when she said it either, there were no social cues to make it into a joke -- it just came off as one more slam. (Note: My navigation is good, I usually don't even need maps -- I'm very good at getting places I've only been once, just by look and feel.)
I didn't say anything for the rest of the trip. Honestly, I just wanted to go home, I don't have time to waste on boorish people.
She finally asked what was wrong after we got there (I was trying to just not even discuss it but was having trouble getting past it without being cold/detached the rest of the evening)... and immediately, while it was obvious she felt bad for hurting my feelings, claiming it wasn't her intent, the way she was talking to me was exactly the way I have seen inexperienced guys attempt to placate upset girlfriends... Basically, the goal was stop me from feeling bad about things so that she would be off the hotseat and everything could be casual and fun, rather than resolving the actual conflict and then moving on for real.
I guess my point is that there are approaches that are instinctive for the middle of the bell curve for each gender, and even when someone tries to fit into the other camp, the thinking and instincts don't change. Even with the INTP Wimmens group here, despite the more "traditionally masculine" aspects of the women involved, the tone is different than what I experienced that night.