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View Poll Results: Who was Jesus?

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  • The Son of God (in the traditionally understood evangelical sense)

    43 37.72%
  • A very good and wise man.

    22 19.30%
  • Definitely more than human... but nothing else can be said with clarity.

    7 6.14%
  • A man tapped into the "ineffable Greatness" of the cosmos/universe.

    3 2.63%
  • A idiosyncratic nut.

    9 7.89%
  • It is unclear whether Jesus actually lived.

    21 18.42%
  • Jesus existed, but it's unsure whether he was human or "more than human"/godly.

    9 7.89%
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Thread: Who Was Jesus?

  1. #61
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon67 View Post
    I don't know, but he would have brought it in Tupperware with his name written on the bottom with a Sharpie.
    This, good sir, is blasphemy. He would have brought it in Corningware with one of those showercap Saran things on top because He lost the real top.

    And the sharpie implies that if He didn't make it clear that it was His, someone else would take it. What kinda sinners you got up in here?
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
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  2. #62
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon67 View Post
    I don't know, but he would have brought it in Tupperware with his name written on the bottom with a Sharpie.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    This, good sir, is blasphemy. He would have brought it in Corningware with one of those showercap Saran things on top because He lost the real top.

    And the Sharpie implies that if He didn't make it clear that it was His, someone else would take it. What kinda sinners you got up in here?
    Are we looking at the MBTIc' South Carolina [insert state of choice] Synod taking shape?
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  3. #63
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    This, good sir, is blasphemy. He would have brought it in Corningware with one of those showercap Saran things on top because He lost the real top.
    Honestly, the Inquisition was too easy on you people...

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    And the sharpie implies that if He didn't make it clear that it was His, someone else would take it. What kinda sinners you got up in here?
    Why, forgiven ones of course...unlike y'all.

    The names are on the bottom of the Tupperware for the perfectly GOOD reason that for every Tupperware container someone owns, there are five or six others in the church just like it, and we would never DREAM of taking home someone else's container, not even by accident. So the mark tells us which one is ours.

    The Elect understand this.

  4. #64
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    So you're a Calvinist as well! That just seals the deal.

    *brandishes serving fork*
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  5. #65
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    So you're a Calvinist as well! That just seals the deal.

    *brandishes serving fork*
    Hey, wait...I thought you were a Quaker. Doesn't that mean you're non-violent?

  6. #66
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon67 View Post
    Hey, wait...I thought you were a Quaker. Doesn't that mean you're non-violent?
    I'm in Episcopal mode now, buddy.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
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  7. #67
    Oberon
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    Ah, okay.

    [draws his trusty soup ladle from its sheath]

    (You know, if nothing else, our avatars should have told us that this outcome was inevitable.)

  8. #68
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Leading to that next important question: WWJE?
    (What Would Jesus Eat?)
    Kosher.

    Quote Originally Posted by crabapple
    Blue Wing-

    Ummmm- Could you say that in English, for densicles like me?

    I think you're saying- Jesus was probably real;
    What he was really like is uncertain, as you can't trust either what his followers said, or what his detractors said;
    The stories of what miracles he performed are probably symbolic;
    Constantine wasn't really a Christian.
    We follow Christianity because its less gross that chopping out the heart of captured enemies, like the Aztecs did;
    and Jesus was probably a good guy who was murdered by the bad guys.

    Did I get that right?

    Furthermore- Duuuhhhhh? Readin' yo postes makes me feel real stupid.....
    Considering you were able to say the same thing in about 50 words what took him about 500, I have to wonder which post is more intelligent.
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  9. #69
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon67 View Post
    I'm uncertain that one can attribute the popularity of what an outsider would call 'the Jesus cult' to Constantine's machinations. Constantine was beneficial in that he granted legal legitimacy to Christianity; but the followers of Jesus had labored under three centuries of suspicion and intermittent persecution (under Nero, Vespasian, and Domitian) prior to Constantine's rule. That isn't the path a potential proselyte chooses if he's looking for power...and while Constantine was beneficial to the church, I'm not certain how to any serious degree the church was beneficial to Constantine, at least in the ways that would have mattered to a Roman emperor..
    What does this have to do with anything I said?


    I find it bewildering that you appear content to think that you and others of your generation possess critical thinking skills that previous generations lacked. That seems nonsensical to me, unless you are considering the modern reverence for scripture as literal truth to be proof of such a lack.

    Most people cant think critically. Neither today, nor in the past. I never insinuated that a conventional man of 2007 is likely to fair any better at critical thinking than the one who lived at the time of Jesus.
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  10. #70
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    What does this have to do with anything I said?
    I thought it had something to do with this:

    The stature of Jesus was no more than a meands to an end, as it has been thoroughly exploited by Constantine the Great.
    I took that to mean that you thought that the stature of Jesus was no more than a means to an end, as it had been thoroughly exploited by Constantine the Great. Perhaps I misconstrued your post...?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    Most people cant think critically. Neither today, nor in the past. I never insinuated that a conventional man of 2007 is likely to fair any better at critical thinking than the one who lived at the time of Jesus.
    I probably overreached in assuming that because you wrote the following:

    ...it was sanctified by our ancestors who likely lacked the ability to think critically and accepted whatever gave them a momentary sense of security.
    ...that you were expressly contrasting those ancestors with people today. My apologies.

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