What's the difference between healthy self-esteem and narcissism?

[proteanmix]

I don't want this to be limited to characteristics that are conspicuous, like someone walking around like they're a diva barking at people like they're servants. It's a mindset of better than even if it's held quietly to oneself.

Self-esteem
Self-confidence
Self-worth
Self-admiration
Self-love

All of these concepts are buildings blocks to a healthy view of self but where is the line between confidence and bloated self-importance?

 

[Sniffles]

One strives towards self-understanding and acceptance. The other strives for self-domination.

 

[Kangirl]

Just some thoughts:

1. healthy self confidence should be based on something real - i.e. real qualities - i.e. not just thinking you're super

2. healthy self confidence, imo, recognizes one's own relative insignificance - narcissism doesn't, at all

 

[Sniffles]

Just some thoughts:

1. healthy self confidence should be based on something real - i.e. real qualities - i.e. not just thinking you're super

2. healthy self confidence, imo, recognizes one's own relative insignificance - narcissism doesn't, at all

In other words, the contrast between being the person you WANT to be and being the person you actually ARE.

 

[Synarch]

Healthy self-esteem is confidence while recognizing one's place in the world. Narcissism is needing to believe one is the center of the world while lacking real confidence.

 

[Sniffles]

Narcissism is needing to believe one is the center of the world while lacking real confidence.

In other words, the ENTP speciality!

 

[Quinlan]

1. healthy self confidence should be based on something real - i.e. real qualities - i.e. not just thinking you're super

I say fake it till ya make it.

I'm super.

 

[Synarch]

In other words, the ENTP speciality!

You have a point, though you are trying to be arch.

Unhealthy ENXP's are prone to compensatory narcissism. They sometimes have diffuse egos that are very fragile. Typically, the more extraverted they are, the more fragile. They respond to this fragility with anxiety which can compel them to find support in the external world of people to reinforce their self-image, which they cannot do themselves. They truly NEED people to like them.

 

[yenom]

Nacarissm seeks people's approval. while self-esteem does not.

 

[jenocyde]

In other words, the ENTP speciality!

No.

Unhealthy ENXP's are prone to compensatory narcissism. They sometimes have diffuse egos that are very fragile. Typically, the more extraverted they are, the more fragile. They respond to this fragility with anxiety which can compel them to find support in the external world of people to reinforce their self-image, which they cannot do themselves. They truly NEED people to like them.

Everyone has a need to be liked. Extroverts express that need more than others.

Self esteem is actually liking yourself.
But narcissism is much more than a need to be liked.
Narcissism is like being stuck at age 2 - never realizing that other people are entities separate from yourself. Never realizing that other people can feel and have their own thoughts and are not just toys and playthings.

 

[simulatedworld]

Narcissism is needing to believe one is the center of the world while lacking real confidence.

In other words, the ENTP speciality!

Ouch, that's absolutely true. I can't even sarcasm-bomb it down.

 

[Sniffles]

Ironic since I was being sarcastic with that remark.

 

[simulatedworld]

^ Your comment was more insightful than you think.

Other ENTPs just don't like to admit it.

 

[digesthisickness]

^ Your comment was more insightful than you think.

Other ENTPs just don't like to admit it.

wrong.

 

[simulatedworld]

Uh huh. Sure buddy.

 

[jenocyde]

seriously... wrong.

 

[Kasper]

seriously, seriously wrong!

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

One test for confidence vs. narcissism is not as much how self is understood, but how self compares to others. There are people who think themselves absolutely marvelous, but they think everyone else is too. I think this might be called charisma. If there is a strongly asymmetrical view that places self as inflated over others, then that is more narcissism.

Narcissism is also an attachment disorder from the little I understand of it. I believe it can result from problems in the process of the self awareness that occurs in the early stages of infancy through childhood. People begin with only an awareness of self and gradually learn the concept of "other" and how that relates to self. Those early relationships help to establish that understanding. I believe the true narcissist has an undeveloped sense of "other". I should go look up the actual texts on this again.

 

[simulatedworld]

Well, I guess I've made a mistake in assuming this is common for ENTPs...but I wasn't really taking it literally. It's kind of an exaggeration of certain ENTP attention whoring tendencies. (The consensus here seems to be that ENxPs have more of a tendency to be attention whores than other types, apparently.)

I don't actually mean to say that most ENTPs lack any real confidence in anything, but with their ability to invent justifications for nearly anything they want to, narcissism seems more likely to occur in extreme examples of ENTP than in other types.

Not saying that most ENTPs are narcissists, but I'd bet that a disproportionate number of narcissists are ENxPs.

 

[Kasper]

For me the difference between having the qualities listed in the OP and a narcissist comes with their willingness to exploit and use others to reach their goals along with their exaggerated self importance and sense of entitlement.

disproportionate number of narcissists are ENxPs.

Most probably.