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  1. #1
    Senior Member Into It's Avatar
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    Default I will kill myself

    *Disclaimer*

    I am not going to kill myself now. Nor tomorrow. Nor the next day.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Yes, it is true! So allow me to talk about this for just a moment.

    In this life, we can only escape pain for brief moments, and when those fine moments can no longer be savored, we return to our natural states of deficiency, ever seeking more. Many people are kind because they want to be known as kind, but the most altruistic of us do not seek glory. They may insist that being thanked makes them uncomfortable. This is certainly true for some, but that is only because they have the ability to fill up their own cups and require no external validation. Our existence is a parody of what is pure; the goodness of our race is mocked whenever I inquire into our nature.

    Property is only owned for legal reasons. When this finally hit me, all I thought I understood about ownership melted away. This computer is only mine because the salesman at the shop told me so. The shop only had it because it was sold to them by a manufacturer. The materials were acquired from the earth, and like us, were assimilated and given an identity for a period of time. As surely as this computer will be recycled eventually, so will I. I wouldn't even go so far as to say that I own my body. Sure, I am able to control it at all times, but it is compiled of earth's materials, and I am only renting them. If there is anything that I do own, anything at all, it is my consciousness. Over this I am sovereign - over this one thing, my word is law.

    Most people who commit suicide do so as an escape from pain. To escape pain is in fact our only motivator. Some may see the acquisition of pleasure as the Great Motivator, but I find pain a more salient force than pleasure, and such distinctions are semantical anyways. As it stands, I believe the discomfort of life has already outweighed the discomfort of death because death sounds relatively cozy. At any rate, I hope that my own skin never becomes totally uninhabitable, in which case my hand would be forced before my heart is in agreement with it. I also hope that I do not meet an untimely, random death. The evil I see in both of these is identical: I am robbed of time.

    Most people squeeze each drop of life out. That is quite the mindset to have inasmuch as keeping yourself busy is concorned, but not necessarily in regards to the length of life. I'm not here to say that this is the wrong approach, but my opinion on the matter is at odds with that of these people.

    Of even my favorite books, you would not hear me say that I wished they would never had an ending. The joy of reading it is nice, but it is also pleasurable to regard the book as a whole. If I were to write my own book, I would not let anyone else write even a passage of it for me, so meticulous am I, and so hungry for the immaculate. I would also take special care in the ending. It should contain appropriate content and come at the appropriate time to complement the whole. The most beautiful art may be etched in sand and disappear by night, and this author's mindset is applicable to life in those who wish to leave their mark as one who lived a work of art.
    An inscription above the gate to Hell:
    "Eternal Love also created me"

  2. #2
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I comprehend and sympathize completely. I've thought about all of this myself. May you have a pleasant afterlife, friend.

    I'm sure I'll join you sooner or later. Mors vincit omnia.

  3. #3
    Gotta catch you all! Blackmail!'s Avatar
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    Why do you want to rob yourself of your remaining time?

    Your existence is all you have.
    "A man who only drinks water has a secret to hide from his fellow-men" -Baudelaire

    7w8 SCUxI

  4. #4
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Congratulations, you've over analyzed life. Pretty much what Blackmail! said.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  5. #5
    Member ADISCIPLE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Into It View Post
    Of even my favorite books, you would not hear me say that I wished they would never had an ending. The joy of reading it is nice, but it is also pleasurable to regard the book as a whole. If I were to write my own book, I would not let anyone else write even a passage of it for me, so meticulous am I, and so hungry for the immaculate. I would also take special care in the ending. It should contain appropriate content and come at the appropriate time to complement the whole. The most beautiful art may be etched in sand and disappear by night, and this author's mindset is applicable to life in those who wish to leave their mark as one who lived a work of art.
    I see what you are getting at with this. I know a person like you with your thoughts probably isn't concerned with what the people around them think. Which is perfectly fine. Of course there is a but here, But, if everyone reads your entire book and at the end just say, "what the hell?!", "It was great until this!". This would be the wide consensus and of course what does it matter to you, because you already created your ending, you finished it yourself, you quit because you didn't submit to the design (if it is designed). Suicide to me has always been an interesting topic. I never would commit suicide myself but I have definitely learned to understand why people would do it. You are not insane for bringing this up, but I could think of a better ending, and so could everyone else.

  6. #6
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I don't agree that the main motivation of life is to escape from pain (and this is after a lifetime of suffering a great deal of emotional pain), although it is definitely one of the most salient motivators.

    As for the rest, you'll have to create your own answers. I don't think avoidance of death is necessarily the greatest good; and yes, endings are part of the natural arc of life and death has its place. (Look at story genres, such as comics, where no natural ending is very often permitted, and you can see how it waters down the dramatic arc and makes what happened earlier almost meaningless.) We each get our own life to live and our story to tell, and we get to decide where it goes as far as we can.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #7
    S Saiyan God Mace's Avatar
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    What, is this guy kidding??

  8. #8
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    death would be a suitable choice if the only possibility in life was to escape what we fear. even though it's the same direction, whether you're running towards something or away from another makes all the difference. turn away from your fears and look towards what you appreciate, that is where you can find happiness, fulfillment, and ultimately a reason to live.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Jeremy's Avatar
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    Have you ever just sat at the top of a hill and watched the sunset, and just thought about why you started feeling that way? Life is something that is incomprehensible, but don't give up on it so easily. Your story will end someday, but.. not now. Pain is only one facet of life, and avoiding pain is not the only reason we exist.
    "Can you set me free from this dark inner world? Save me now, last beats in the soul.."

    Fonewearl and proud of it!

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  10. #10
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Hi Into It,
    Do you know what your Enneagram is?
    Eclectic Energies Enneagram Tests (free)
    Test 2 is the one I took. I found it provides knowledge into stages of health for the types of people. This is a very powerful tool for helping one see lateral ways of idealism in being and feeling the healthiest.
    In other words, you don't have to let everything in life push you to limits of unhealthiness.
    I would like to offer you some things from some empathic people..."Every failure, every crisis, every difficult time, ask "What is this here to teach me?" If you get the lesson, you get to move on. If you really get the lesson you pass and you don't have to repeat the class and show up in another pair of pants. To give you some remedial work.
    Difficulties come when we don't pay attention to life's whisper. Because life always whispers to you first...and if you ignore the whisper sooner or later you'll get a scream. Whatever you resist persists, but if you ask the right question, not "Why is this happening", but "What is this here to teach me?"...it puts you in the place and space to get the lesson you need. Let the awareness of who you are stimulate everything you do. If you are depressed, help someone who is depressed get through it. And then you will find happiness. If you are sick, help someone who is sick, and you shall be happy. If you are angry, help someone who is angry to see the meaning in being healthy. It is the meaning you want. Because meaning is what brings the real richness to your life. What you really want is to be surrounded by people who you trust, and treasure...and by people who cherish you.
    Everyone has a calling. Everyone..Trust your heart and intuition. Harness your power to your passion. Honor your calling. It is your expertise and empathy (which you have), joyfullness, purpose, inner traits that have transcendent worth." -Oprah Winfrey


    Quote Originally Posted by Into It View Post
    Yes, it is true! So allow me to talk about this for just a moment.

    In this life, we can only escape pain for brief moments, and when those fine moments can no longer be savored, we return to our natural states of deficiency, ever seeking more. Many people are kind because they want to be known as kind, but the most altruistic of us do not seek glory. They may insist that being thanked makes them uncomfortable. This is certainly true for some, but that is only because they have the ability to fill up their own cups and require no external validation. Our existence is a parody of what is pure; the goodness of our race is mocked whenever I inquire into our nature.

    Property is only owned for legal reasons. When this finally hit me, all I thought I understood about ownership melted away. This computer is only mine because the salesman at the shop told me so. The shop only had it because it was sold to them by a manufacturer. The materials were acquired from the earth, and like us, were assimilated and given an identity for a period of time. As surely as this computer will be recycled eventually, so will I. I wouldn't even go so far as to say that I own my body. Sure, I am able to control it at all times, but it is compiled of earth's materials, and I am only renting them. If there is anything that I do own, anything at all, it is my consciousness. Over this I am sovereign - over this one thing, my word is law.

    Most people who commit suicide do so as an escape from pain. To escape pain is in fact our only motivator. Some may see the acquisition of pleasure as the Great Motivator, but I find pain a more salient force than pleasure, and such distinctions are semantical anyways. As it stands, I believe the discomfort of life has already outweighed the discomfort of death because death sounds relatively cozy. At any rate, I hope that my own skin never becomes totally uninhabitable, in which case my hand would be forced before my heart is in agreement with it. I also hope that I do not meet an untimely, random death. The evil I see in both of these is identical: I am robbed of time.

    Most people squeeze each drop of life out. That is quite the mindset to have inasmuch as keeping yourself busy is concorned, but not necessarily in regards to the length of life. I'm not here to say that this is the wrong approach, but my opinion on the matter is at odds with that of these people.

    Of even my favorite books, you would not hear me say that I wished they would never had an ending. The joy of reading it is nice, but it is also pleasurable to regard the book as a whole. If I were to write my own book, I would not let anyone else write even a passage of it for me, so meticulous am I, and so hungry for the immaculate. I would also take special care in the ending. It should contain appropriate content and come at the appropriate time to complement the whole. The most beautiful art may be etched in sand and disappear by night, and this author's mindset is applicable to life in those who wish to leave their mark as one who lived a work of art.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

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