Life is a journey and in that journey you learn more of the self and others. You can work towards dismissing the many sub personalities and finding your individuality that is authentic though.
I tend to look at it as a learning curve based on how the overall spectrum of life develops for you, anyone.
Like the real self is in activation of the senses and personality given rise to awaken a part of the self to be truer. A part of an enlightened awareness that is the self in learning the experiences that shaped you.
In other words you never stop learning to truly know yourself from birth to death. For the dimensional nature that is the human condition allows for life experimentation to be so flexible yet so missable at the same time it is dependant on how willing anyone is to live their energy state or resist their energy state.
Is that my intuition talking again, pfft, taken with a pinch of salt.
As Viv pointed out being loved and expressing love with your loved ones is the best way of learning who you are too. The heart governs the spirit and the will and the surrounding actions shared that have potential in the way you precede in life's corridors.
To make each day a progression towards acceptance without the need to ego split will accomplish more than the act of knowing. Which means the harder you try to fight yourself the more inactive you become in knowing who you are and the more resilient you get to experience and change. For what are sub personalities but defensive shells left to cover up the dissatisfaction in life around us.
I'll try. Basically, what I meant is that there are so many ways in which our personalities are buried under what we want to appear like to others, and so much of our self-concept is based on how others view us, that it's extremely hard to make a firm concept of the self. I understand that it's something that can't be put into words, but so often, people try regardless. This just makes it harder to figure out who you are, because you even begin to describe yourself as others see you, not as you truly are.
Trying to be as succinct as possible, is the self more a locus of will rather than something that can be described objectively?
People who "are" themselves are Being, not thinking about Being. They don't need to describe themselves, they're within themselves and you have to step outside yourself to describe yourself. Description is also an outside->inside approach to self, immersion is inside->outside.
I have been going through lots of changes recently and have spent a life of not living "inside my body," i always have detached and looked at myself from the outside. Now it's an odd thing as I become more and more immersed "in me." First it's like wearing a costume, with the costume being the descriptors. Then I let myself "fill out" the costume until there is no extra space, it no longer hangs loosely on me. Then I let myself fill out further until it stretches taut hugging me like second skin, getting thinner and more translucent. Then suddenly it stretches so thin that it melts into "me" and I am me completely, inside rather than outside, and able to engage the world through "me" rather than through a detached third-person observer.
Describing "me" always seems a step backwards from being "me."
"Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"
“Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
IMO we are evolving, dynamic organisms not static or definitive in the sense that I believe you are talking about. Each day, experience and interaction bring new data that alters our psyches. Sometimes this change is minute while at other moments it can be quite drastic. We may have some relatively fixed aspects of our personalities but the nature of any living organism is change overall. As for the times you conform to those around you, that's part of who you are too, otherwise you wouldn't do it.
You know what is so beautiful about not knowing? That God knows - He created you, knows everything about you head to toe...He has plans for you and your future, has a purpose for your life that only you can fulfill because He made you YOU, He wants the best for you, and will help you accomplish and obtain all the things He has in store for you - all because He loves you! All we have to do is ask
"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD" (Ps 139:1-4).