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Thread: Crushed dreams

  1. #1

    Unhappy Crushed dreams

    I realize many of the regulars on this forum are young, and may not have had this happen to them yet...
    but has anyone had one of the dearest, life-long dreams crushed (or badly bruised)?

    How did you deal?

    How did you recover?

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  2. #2
    only bites when provoked
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    Deal: Tried to forget about it the best I could. It's hard to do, though, and I can't completely suppress it.

    Recover: Haven't, probably never will. It just slowly, sometimes, cools down. It's a matter of avoiding things that remind me, but that's not really possible. Oh well. In ST:V they claimed the pain was what made us who we are.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

  3. #3

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    Sorry about bringing back painful memories, but ...

    I'm curious. How did you know it was time to give up on your dream?

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  4. #4
    heart on fire
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    I have had to deal with life changing situation that I cannot seem to overcome. I had to change my view of myself and my dreams. I had to come to terms with the changes or be destroyed by them. It is not always easy, I slip back into expecting things to be like they were before or holding myself to my previous standards.

    My husband is very good about helping me back back on track when I get depressed about things I cannot control and keeping me in the present as far as perspective is concerned. There was a long time where the only way I got through things was day by day, just telling myself to focus on one day at a time and not moving beyond that, but that was something very hard for me.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    I realize many of the regulars on this forum are young, and may not have had this happen to them yet...
    but has anyone had one of the dearest, life-long dreams crushed (or badly bruised)?

    How did you deal?

    How did you recover?
    I'm rapidly approaching the point where my life's dream will be unattainable because of age. And I think my method of dealing is just to ignore that reality. I threw all my money on the table with this hand, and I just have to see it through to the bitter end because I don't have a backup plan. So I'm charging into the dark waving my sword and screaming. I won't win any points for grace, but I will for dedication.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Having never dared to aim for my dream before, it has yet to be crushed, the only thing in between it is my self confidence, and that may end up crushing my dreams if I don't get better with it.

    The love dream however is done and dusted, crushed, never thought I would reover from it, still unsure if I can and I feel like that ship has sailed anyway...tick tock tick tock etc.

    Time is a healer.
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by FMWarner View Post
    I'm rapidly approaching the point where my life's dream will be unattainable because of age. And I think my method of dealing is just to ignore that reality. I threw all my money on the table with this hand, and I just have to see it through to the bitter end because I don't have a backup plan. So I'm charging into the dark waving my sword and screaming. I won't win any points for grace, but I will for dedication.
    I think I may adopt the same attitude. I'm not ready to give up yet.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  8. #8
    Senior Member developer's Avatar
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    Try again. Fail again. Fail better. (Samuel Beckett)

    Really, that's all there is. Take courage.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    ...How did you deal?
    Developped some nihilistic views, tried to keep myself occupied 24h/day so not thinking about it

    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    ...How did you recover?
    I 've been told that the best cure is time. Realised this is a lie. Kept trying not thinking about it

  10. #10
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    I realize many of the regulars on this forum are young, and may not have had this happen to them yet...
    but has anyone had one of the dearest, life-long dreams crushed (or badly bruised)?

    How did you deal?

    How did you recover?
    I don't want to go into details here, but this is a constant theme in my life. It has helped me to allow it to change who i am. I become the person who can deal with it over time. This gives a new feeling of hope in one's ability to flow something like a river around any obstacle.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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