Varied Identities

[Athenian200]

Well, I'd say there are a few of me.

1. Inquisitive me - I ask lots of questions and carefully explore an idea someone else is talking about, while possibly expressing my own thoughts on it, and my own ideas that seem connected to it. I'm usually in this mode when I'm interested in and curious about something. This is probably the only mode I truly enjoy.

2. Formal me - I go mostly silent, and disappear underneath a series of stock phrases, commonly held perspectives, careful focus on work, and rigid behaviors to avoid seeming unusual or out of place. I can tolerate it, but it's not comfortable or rewarding.

3. Concerned me - I concern myself with someone else's happiness/comfort, and keep trying to do things that will make them feel better, subtly or openly depending on the situation. I try to offer compassionate advice, listen to them, say what they probably want/need to hear, etc. This can be rewarding and comforting in the long run, but it really isn't fun. It doesn't tire me at all, though.

4. Legalistic/Geek me - I pay careful attention to every detail, saying everything with precision and nitpicking at every flaw I see. Will complain about lack of precision and vagueness, decry unwritten rules and dismiss context and personal experience/values as meaningless things that create bias in perception. This can be fun when it's used on and off with 1. If it's used straight for a while, it's just tiring/tedious, though. Not really bad.

5. Irrational me - I moan and groan about every little thing that bugs me (noises, smells, pains, thoughts, fears, movements, etc), angrily tell people to shut up whenever they try to talk to me, and feel paranoid about everything I think to be paranoid about. I blame everything on other people, accuse them of ridiculous things, and won't take any responsibility for my own feelings. I also criticize everything other people do, sometimes with reason, sometimes arbitrarily. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I lash out violently, sometimes I yell, and sometimes I just lie down and refuse to move. There are certain people who can bring me out of this mode instead of waiting for me to get out myself, but they're rare. I don't like to be this way.

Those are the basics.

[Anja]

Having had a number of jobs with different aspects I've been able to learn a variety of "languages", both verbal and physical.

There was a time when this felt chameleon-like and dishonest and was confusing to me. Now I find it a social convenience to be able to adjust to the status quo fairly rapidly.

When in Rome. . .

But my values remain static.

[soleil]

Great topic!


Being a chameleon works for me. Having multiple personalities makes it easier to understand people and blend into an environment, or conversation. At times, it can be quite draining expressing those sides of me because I feel I'm trying too hard to please people. It feels like work sometimes, and others times not so much. It is definitely a good thing though.

[Colors]

Sorry it took me so long to answer, I'm just a mull-er and ... so many insightful responses, so I'll tackle a couple at a time.

Originally Posted by Thursday

bravo
i think, and albeit i am
which is the problem
i think too much and am too many people

it is extremely tiring and taxes my efficiency and moral
"it" probably being someone who holds his tongue until the razor wit cuts his hand
so yeah
i don't reveal anything, and the reaction is a person who shifts himself to fit the most "happy" outcome

I definitely can relate to this statement. I just feel trapped sometimes. That people expect me to act a certain way or I feel they expect me to act a certain way and I'll disappoint them. So I'd rather disengage, to have them learn no pattern at all then to keep track of our social standing... what subjects/actions are still taboo and which have become "safe" (broached and discussion judged to be adequate).

Originally Posted by Dwigie

sometimes I think I "never am" I feel like who I am is changeable to my will of letting myself be changed (which is..most of the time) and is never consistent, I could be turned into anything anytime it is hard for me to dissociate myself from people or my environment. "Chameleon"...pretty much what I act like. I look to others for guidances, directions..."rules", everything I own is borrowed or stolen basically.Well not everything, the only thing I haven't borrowed is the "substance" of that "play dough".

There's nothing wrong, I suppose, objectively about changing and being adaptable, but sometimes I do feel like "am I anyone at all?" But what is this obsession of being one's true self anyhow. Life is unveiling new possibilities every day and this ideation of the true self seems engineered so we can choose to be consistent rather than random.

I suppose we're maybe because we're such social creatures. So much of society depends on trusting your fellow humans. Of predicatbility, rationality. The train comes at such and such a time. You drive on such and such side of the road. And extending to more social transactions too- you won't sleep with your best bud's spouse (well, you think so and you want to make your best bud think so). So you can act and react depending on mostly determined cause and effect relationships. And thus a high social value and self-esteem based on this concept of a soul, an eternal self... when perhaps we're closer to nothing at all but independent action. (We could teeter on the brink of chaos.)