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Old 10-07-2008, 02:07 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default auxilary Fe/Fi detectives

Well I just was in that group of people, we were talking about stuff and doing things and I was getting information.

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There is that thing, how to describe it best... if someone talks with me about the technology of cars, I have all the abilities needed to follow him. At technics I may suck a bit, but concerning technology I can follow.

So if someone talks with me about for example flowers, like which flowers have what names. I will blend out during the conversation, because I am a P and I cant concentrate on things that do not interest me. If I do it will pain me. Well flowers are ok, I like to talk about flowers, was just an example.

So we have A) I can talk about my field of intrest and B) I cant make my mind around just anything.

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So back to the group of people. When I sit there at the table in their midst, I listen to them talking, comment myself on the topics and we have a nice time. But deep beyond the visible world my mind lurks in the shadows, constantly paying the highest attention to fetch every detail of the given situation, to pay the highest amount of intention to grasp any detail that otherwise could slip unchecked through its grip.

When I was young, girls liked in me the ability to notice every small detail, but that has changed, girls liking me, I mean .

The thing is, I described it not fully correct, the mind is doing nothing. Things are happening, it works constantly. I really cant explain it any further, because I have no reference to my observations. I imagine other people to see the world differently, because I have noticed that through interaction and through just being who I am, but I cant imagine how EXACTLY that would work.

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Now comes the intresting point.

So you are sitting their at the table fetching your daily information, when you suddenly realize things. You start noticing patterns and connections. You start to see the small fit into the whole, you begin to develop a holistic view of a person and start to construct subconciously a rolemodel of the person which would explain every action of the person and what would explain nothing.

The thing is, obviously at some time, you start using a rational function to process information gathered. I started to notice, when I use my Feeling-Function.

Everytime it kicks in I start to see pieces of a greater unity, something like to see the universe naked and I am talking person related here. Everytime it kicks in with a person, I actually have the faculty to understand him and to make something like a medical, psychological, emotional, friendship grid out of it to understand his wishes, desires, motivations and to understand who he is.

The only problem is: I can't.

Everytime those hints fade into my concious thoughts about a persons desire, I run out of ideas, I feel blind alleyed. I cant go further.

It is the same with people talking about intrapersonal things, I would like to go on and present ideas, I feel strongly about my opinions to be right, but I cant express them. I cant make my point, because I do not know how, I lack crucial pieces and furthermore, because it totally is beyond my primary intrests , I tend to withdraw from the situation, because I feel ignored.

That is like you want to explain people, who they really are, because you know something from experience, you feel to have hit a holistic view an explainable illness that drives their fears and needs and which they themselves cant grasp, but you cant share it with them because you just cant. You dont know the right words, you cant confront it with linear logic, because it would take the meaning away of the grave insight and you yourself are baffled by your insight and have no faculties to understand it by yourself.

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I think mainly this is the reason why I came to MBTI. To explore feeling thinking.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:37 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I know the feeling. Kind of. I guess. Well, sometimes I feel like I've found some important pattern, but it usually doesn't let itself become verbalized, not even inside my head. I can see it there for a moment, but as soon as I try to pin it down, it's gone. A bit like a concept or an idea turned into a dream.

Pofff... gone.
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