Creating circumstances or created by them

[Chris_in_Orbit]

Oh, interesting. Now that I think about it, this really is the same as the Nature vs Nurture argument..

~Anyway.

I am interested to hear your thoughts on this. You can think of MBTI while answering this question I suppose.

Some people believe that our circumstances create us. We are molded from whatever events we experience in our lives and we adapt to future events accordingly. Thusly, we are our circumstances. Because we are shaped from them we can blame (or thank) the random cards we are given throughout our lives.

Sara is an average woman whose parents were very inefficient with money. Growing up she realized that she did not want to be like them. She finds herself today in a comfortable life and very financially comfortable. She believes that because she was placed in the situation she was in from her childhood, she was able to learn from it and become something beneficial..

Flip the token and you get another idea. We create our circumstances. Let me clarify: circumstances still happen but it is up to us to appraise them. Therefore our circumstances are what we make of them.

Lets use Sara again. She is still a studious woman who is good with money. But now she thinks that it was -her- that made her into the money savvy person she is and not the circumstance she was put in. Sara has a -sister- who was in the same situation as she was but she ended up being an airheaded artist who couldn't care less about money...let alone a stable living environment. Therefore these two people who were raised in the same environment turned out differently, all because individuals make their circumstances and not the other way around.

And then it can turn full circle.... Sara's sister turned out the way she did because she was younger and had an older sister who was taking charge of the families expenses so she didn't have to.. revalidating that circumstances create us.

So you see, both theories have some merit. Tell me: what do you guys think?

[Bella]

You use events/ outward circumstances as examples. This is hard as some people are in such a tight grip or vicious cycle, especially where money is concerned that it would feel wrong to say "You can make it never mind what, just get your act together, forget what life has thrown at you".
When it comes to what goes on inside, I really do believe that one can rise high, high above what circumstances you are in or have experienced in the past. It is a powerful and wonderful thing when it finally sinks in.

[kyuuei]

I sort of think they go hand-in-hand though. Taking my high-school career.. My parents needed my assistance, so my sisters were capable of doing whatever they liked and being much more "normal" teenagers without the responsibilities I was upholding.. I could have just as easily said I didn't feel like it, but I decided to create that circumstance.. because I created it, my sister's didn't learn the weight of responsibility early on like I did, thus when my younger sister is off on her own, her circumstances made her spoiled and unable to handle the harder things in life.. which makes me often having to go through and help her. I chose something, which made a reaction, which put me in that circumstance that shapes me.

So.. I guess in a way, both sides are seen because the choices you make create the circumstances that shape you?

[ajblaise]

Concerning nature vs nurture....nurture is a part of nature, it exists within it. So it's really a flawed concept.

[Bella]

Originally Posted by ajblaise

Concerning nature vs nurture....nurture is a part of nature, it exists within it. So it's really a flawed concept.

Whatcha mean?

[Chris_in_Orbit]

Originally Posted by Bella

You use events/ outward circumstances as examples. This is hard as some people are in such a tight grip or vicious cycle, especially where money is concerned that it would feel wrong to say "You can make it never mind what, just get your act together, forget what life has thrown at you".
When it comes to what goes on inside, I really do believe that one can rise high, high above what circumstances you are in or have experienced in the past. It is a powerful and wonderful thing when it finally sinks in.

Well I use outside circumstances for a reason. We have to get our circumstances from without and bring them within us. I wonder if the outside circumstance or the individual appraisal of it could be used to define the "self." Though I do get what you mean; what would you think of an internal circumstance? Like love perhaps?

Originally Posted by kyuuei

I sort of think they go hand-in-hand though. Taking my high-school career.. My parents needed my assistance, so my sisters were capable of doing whatever they liked and being much more "normal" teenagers without the responsibilities I was upholding.. I could have just as easily said I didn't feel like it, but I decided to create that circumstance.. because I created it, my sister's didn't learn the weight of responsibility early on like I did, thus when my younger sister is off on her own, her circumstances made her spoiled and unable to handle the harder things in life.. which makes me often having to go through and help her. I chose something, which made a reaction, which put me in that circumstance that shapes me.

So.. I guess in a way, both sides are seen because the choices you make create the circumstances that shape you?

Yes, interesting. In the end which one influenced who you were? the circumstance of responsibility, or the choice to take on that circumstance? Its seems like a question you can't answer. Maybe they go hand in hand.

[ajblaise]

Originally Posted by Bella

Whatcha mean?

Your nurturing, upbringing, your environment.... is all part of nature. Nature as in: The universe, everything, the natural world. Nurturing occurs within all that.

[Chris_in_Orbit]

Originally Posted by ajblaise

Concerning nature vs nurture....nurture is a part of nature, it exists within it. So it's really a flawed concept.

o_O Do we naturally exist and pass on genes in the expectation that our off spring will be nurtured in such a way as to continue to procreate?

I'm totally seeing your point on this one. Like, if mothers didn't nurture a significant attachment to their babies then the baby would be unlikely to survive. Good call.

Now back on topic. xD

EDIT: Actually nature vs. nurture arguing is quite on topic so any further speculation is fine.

[Bella]

Originally Posted by Chris_in_Orbit

Well I use outside circumstances for a reason. We have to get our circumstances from without and bring them within us. I wonder if the outside circumstance or the individual appraisal of it could be used to define the "self." Though I do get what you mean; what would you think of an internal circumstance? Like love perhaps?



Yes, interesting. In the end which one influenced who you were? the circumstance of responsibility, or the choice to take on that circumstance? Its seems like a question you can't answer. Maybe they go hand in hand.

Oh, my non-abstract mind struggles so.....

But if you put it like that....o yes, circumstances define self but I think it's something that should be watched and controlled and sort of pushed in the right direction otherwise you'll start making excuses for who and what you are.
Love? huh?

[kyuuei]

Originally Posted by Chris_in_Orbit

Yes, interesting. In the end which one influenced who you were? the circumstance of responsibility, or the choice to take on that circumstance? Its seems like a question you can't answer. Maybe they go hand in hand.

Unfortunately, I don't have an answer. Sometimes I'd like to know if I'd turn out well without making that choice. In the end, I think circumstances shape us until we decide to take them in our own hands.

For example, something tragic happens. For a while, we're depressed or saddened, but eventually we make of it what we can and choose to move on despite the situation. I think we're too strong to be entirely controlled by circumstance.. but that we do let it guide us and wait until something happens that requires our attention.