Controlling people

[InaF3157]

I can understand wanting strict control of yourself, but please explain to me people who have an interventionist, controlling approach to other people. What goes on in your mind? Is it lack of self-control?

[ajblaise]

Cuz they want others to do what they want and what will benefit them.

But I'm not an ENTJ, so I don't know what goes on in their mind.

[InaF3157]

It's not just ENTJs, unfortunately. I want people do what I want, too, but take a hands off approach that leans more on persuasion and "living with it" when that doesn't work.

[Jack Flak]

If I notice someone seeming "lost," I often offer advice. Sometimes it isn't appreciated. Still, I remain informative and not directive in my exchanges in most circumstances.

[InaF3157]

Yes, I do that. I meant more in the way of self-serving attempts to control other people.

[ajblaise]

Originally Posted by IF3157

It's not just ENTJs, unfortunately. I want people do what I want too, but take a hands off approach that leans more on persuasion and "living with it" when that doesn't work.

Well it must work out for them to some degree if they keep doing it. And maybe they are just simply selfish and bad at subtle persuasion.

[InaF3157]

Originally Posted by ajblaise

Well it must work out for them to some degree if they keep doing it. And maybe they are just simply selfish and bad at subtle persuasion.

It's weird. I will only be interventionist if it is to help the person, not to serve my own interests. (e.g.: you're not drunk driving without me trying to get you not to).
I had a friend in college, who, if I agreed to do early breakfast the next morning, would not leave it to me to get up and meet in time. She would give me an unsolicited wake up call to make sure (but hang up as soon as I picked up). Gee, i wonder who that could be.
That shit pissed me off! Guess who no longer had an appetite for breakfast?

[ajblaise]

Originally Posted by IF3157

It's weird. I will only be interventionist if it is to help the person, not to serve my own interests. (e.g.: you're not drunk driving without me trying to get you not to).
I had a friend in college, who, if I agreed to do early breakfast the next morning, would not leave it to me to get up and meet in time. She would give me an unsolicited wake up call to make sure (but hang up as soon as I picked up). Gee, i wonder who that could be.
That shit pissed me off! Guess who no longer had an appetite for breakfast?

wah that'd be annoying. sounds like major Jism with a hint of selfishness.

I can be kinda pushy too if I think what I'm trying to help/convince someone with is in their best interest. I do it, because while sometimes it can take some time, but often at the end, they are like "ohhhh, i see".

[Jack Flak]

My dad can occasionally be like that, and I never let him get away with it (gain any tactical advantage), because I'm a cold son-of-a-gun.

He's a P though, I believe.

[InaF3157]

Yeah, I get extremely ornery in the circumstances and will, to borrow from another thread title, pull a "cut the nose off to spite the face" or otherwise malinger as a grand fuck-off.
Take the above example, I'd make sure to be a few minutes late or just change my mind if sufficiently annoyed.