talk first, then think!

[whatever]

I've been criticized over the years for my habit of saying whatever is on my mind at the time without really bothering to think things through before talking. This occasionally gets some odd looks and makes people wonder if I'm really all that bright at all- not to mention it tends to ruffle the feathers of more proper people.

Of the people I know it's usually the ExxPs who have this habit as well.

Is this really type related or a sign that I am, perhaps, as some have suggested, a throuroghly uncouth idiot?

[runvardh]

No, I'm sure it's pretty normal when an Extroverted Perceptive function is running unhinged.

[Jack Flak]

The ENTP I knew best would talk first, then never think about the horrible thing he said. True story.

[InaF3157]

Uh, you could be both Some would say you are one because of the other . . .
I used to do this more often in the past. Now for whatever reason I stop to think, but I'm not sure if it's the force of necessary habit warping natural inclinations or getting to be more myself.

[whatever]

It usually doesn't occur to me that I HAVE said something horrible until I'm told that I did- then my first thought is always "why are people so damned sensitive?"

worse yet, this is not improving with age

[InaF3157]

Originally Posted by whatever

It usually doesn't occur to me that I HAVE said something horrible until I'm told that I did- then my first thought is always "why are people so damned sensitive?"

worse yet, this is not improving with age

Oh noes!
I hear you, though. If age isn't improving it, try to keep track of the things that you say that get you into hot water and self-monitor a bit. That's assuming you want to stop getting into hot water. Sometimes it doesn't matter that you think/know they are being hypersensitive.

[prplchknz]

Originally Posted by whatever

It usually doesn't occur to me that I HAVE said something horrible until I'm told that I did- then my first thought is always "why are people so damned sensitive?"

worse yet, this is not improving with age

if it's funny you can get away with this around me. Though I try not to get upset when someone says something insensitve, cuz I've done the same to others. without meaning to.

I do also wonder about overly sensitive people. I mean worse things happen beyond getting offended. And if you're going to get offended at everything then when will you have time to have fun? that's how I look it.

I'm not going to usually purposely offend someone.

[substitute]

I'm the same as you whatever, but I have learned to pause a fraction of a second before talking... this causes various problems...

- it's natural to me to just say what's on my mind
- in order to not do that, it takes quite a lot of effort
- if I'm using all that effort in restraining myself then that leaves less spare for listening
- so I'll use the time while the other person's talking to think of what I'm going to say and edit it before printing, so to speak
- although I don't say tactless things as often, I do get complained at for not listening

I guess the way I see it really, if I'm honest, is that some people just are stupidly sensitive, and there's no getting away from that. So I have learned to be careful and figure out what sorts of things people tend to get offended by and avoid saying those things, or being more careful to figure out where a person's "offence threshold" is before speaking.

But I still reserve the right to think that they're silly and, perhaps not overly sensitive but just sensitive about pointless things that I can't see any point being sensitive about.

We can all accommodate each other as much as we can and I think that's about as much as a person can ask of another person, realistically, that we keep our thoughts to ourselves if they're not polite. But it goes beyond the pale really to expect a person to not even THINK the things that are natural to them... lol

[InaF3157]

Originally Posted by substitute

I
I guess the way I see it really, if I'm honest, is that some people just are stupidly sensitive, and there's no getting away from that. So I have learned to be careful and figure out what sorts of things people tend to get offended by and avoid saying those things, or being more careful to figure out where a person's "offence threshold" is before speaking.

But I still reserve the right to think that they're silly and, perhaps not overly sensitive but just sensitive about pointless things that I can't see any point being sensitive about.

+1

[Economica]

Originally Posted by whatever

Is this really type related or a sign that I am, perhaps, as some have suggested, a throuroghly uncouth idiot?

It's definitely a type-related shortcoming, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook. ENTPs can develop Fe and become very good at knowing what to say and what not to say - just look at Obama.

In my view it's a question of motivation rather than inability: If deprived of sufficient stimulation, ENTPs become disillusioned and develop a habit of not giving a damn by way of amusing themselves. So make worthy friends, and you'll find yourself wanting to be - and with some practice successfully being - considerate of them. (And through that practice you'll also become able to control how considerate you are of everyone else.)