Women, "Play Nice" and the Danger Instinct

[LadyJaye]

I will agree that it's probably a great deal more dangerous in the US than in many parts of Europe for women in general. But, when I was in school in Ireland, I got attacked twice on the bus on my way home. The only difference was that they were used to girls not fighting back, and I punched the daylights out of those guys. Even scarier because I'm a small person, but that's probably why they chose me.

[Anja]

Originally Posted by Cality

What kind of harassment? I don't really feel harassed when I walk through the streets. Maybe I just pay attention to where I go and when it happens, it's usually young occupationsless guys who say "hey, you're pretty" as they say to any thing that looks a little feminine (or when homeless just bet for money).
When it ever happens, I just ignore them, even if they insist. I try to walk assured and not to look unsure or scared. I make my face look extremly cold and unfriendly. It works so far. Some of my friend say it's better to say hi in this case, because the guys are supposed to do less harm to you if you are polite. I never managed to. I am not harassed, maybe slightly more when I am in Paris... not too much though. Why? Have you or friends been harassed here in France? I was more harassed in Belgium.

Thanks for answering my question, Cality. I think you provided some good tips for women. Looking assured, unfriendly.

I hadn't meant to single France out. I saw your location and wondered how things were there for women in public.

In Mexico those kinds of incidents increased for me if my husband wasn't with me. I was quite surprised by it because in the area I live that kind of cat-calling has nearly been eliminated. There have been a few times I've actually been touched on the street there.

But the intention truly did seem more festive and obligatory on the men's part than it has for me in the States. Not to excuse it, because I don't care for that kind of attention. Yet it seemed more friendly in intent than it does here.

[Anja]

More. And that's goes back to my thoughts about how we use language.

The implied threat that exists when a man makes comments about one's body.

I'm in thought of the implied sense of ownership that accompanies, say, the expression, "I'd have a piece of that."

As though a woman's body is offered simply by appearing in public.

And the threat is not an offer of making love as much as it is in taking something away for himself.

[LostInNerSpace]

There are some great pressure points you can use to cause people pain without too much effort. If I have time later I'll draw diagrams. I saw a woman wearing a hooded sweatshirt the other day. It's pretty safe around here, but still a good idea.

[helen]

Originally Posted by Victor

Thanks for your reply Helen.

You may well have been literally, "just curious", however the phase is a common phrase perhaps with metaphorical overtones. And it seemed to me that you were dismissing your feelings by saying that you were just curious in the same way housewives dismiss themselves by saying they are just housewives.

And I am quite happy for you to be confrontational and argumentative with me - it may be a way for you express and discover your feelings.

And it is interesting how we use MBTI. I would like us to deepen our understanding of how we use MBTI. Part of that is understanding the history of MBTI and how it relates to similar movements.

It is very interesting that you find it hard to put your finger on your suspicions. So perhaps you might like to handle your suspicions and show them to us.

Perhaps you might like to feel your suspicions, bring them into your conscious mind and share them with us.

Your suspicions do sound interesting.

Hi Victor, just wanted to say thank you for the reply (which I read through several times) and for trying to help me validate rather than dismiss my feelings/suspicions. You made me think more deeply, and I appreciate that. I'll keep kicking my thoughts around in my head, and who knows, if they form into anything coherent maybe I'll share them in a new thread.

[LostInNerSpace]

Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace

There are some great pressure points you can use to cause people pain without too much effort. If I have time later I'll draw diagrams.

Best pressure points for self-defense:

- See where is says "Side of eye socket GB1". Poke your finger in there, or into the other side of the eye socket. The other side is actually more painful.

- Apply pressure to the point marked "Under Eye Socket ST1"

- Apply pressure with your thumb or finger to a point just above the point marked "Thymus". You need to practice on someone to find the right spot. You can get an attacker off balance with relatively minimal effort with that point. Then aim for his manhood with you knee.

- Applying pressure under the arm pits will cause pain.

- See the point that says chin. Follow the white arrow until the point where it leaves her face. Try to feel for the bone at that point on your face. Apply pressure with your thumb to the point behind your cheek bone at that point.

- If you can punch, you can hit any of the other points on the body.

- You can dig your nails into the points on the hand.

[Kyrielle]

Excellent stuff Lost. Also, the Adam's Apple/trachea/right under the chin is a good point to place a quick jab with your fingers. Or you can punch it. Either way it'll cause a lot of pain and coughing.

[booyalab]

Originally Posted by LadyJaye

I will agree that it's probably a great deal more dangerous in the US than in many parts of Europe for women in general..

Wasn't there a UN report a few years ago that determined Scotland was the most violent country in the world, followed closely by England and Wales? And I think Eastern Europe is supposed to be at least as dangerous as any of the most violent places in the US. If you equate the US only with the most densely populated cities, sure it's probably more dangerous than Europe in general, since you wouldn't be equating Europe with it's most populated cities. But the vast overlooked majority of the US is rural, small towns/cities, suburbs and pretty safe.

[PinkPiranha]

Originally Posted by booyalab

Wasn't there a UN report a few years ago that determined Scotland was the most violent country in the world, followed closely by England and Wales? And I think Eastern Europe is supposed to be at least as dangerous as any of the most violent places in the US. If you equate the US only with the most densely populated cities, sure it's probably more dangerous than Europe in general, since you wouldn't be equating Europe with it's most populated cities. But the vast overlooked majority of the US is rural, small towns/cities, suburbs and pretty safe.

Very interesting. I hadn't heard that.

[booyalab]

BBC NEWS | Scotland | Scotland worst for violence - UN

I just found an article about it. It does say DEVELOPED world, which means at least you won't find any warnings on travel sites about the possibility of visitors getting shot seconds after they get off the plane.

Anyway, as per the OP, I've been told I'm not cautious enough. But not because I'm nice. I've just never feel worried about walking around by myself at night. In fact, I find it calming.
But even though I might be overconfident about the improbability of dangerous situations. I'm still cynical with individuals who seem to be increasing the odds of danger before my eyes. For example, one night walking in a residential area of Minneapolis when I was about 20, some guy drove up into a driveway, blocking my path, and asked me (with a curiously not-sad demeanor) if I had seen his lost dog and if I wanted to see a picture of it. He didn't put the picture up to the window, so I couldn't confirm there was one, he wanted me to trust that it was in his lap or something. Yeah, didn't fall for that one. Are there seriously women who would?