Women, "Play Nice" and the Danger Instinct

[LadyJaye]

Originally Posted by disregard

I wouldn't want a knife like that in my vicinity if someone was attacking me.

Knives give me the creeps, personally. I see them as something that could be used against me.

[Jack Flak]

Originally Posted by disregard

I wouldn't want a knife like that in my vicinity if someone was attacking me.

Well guns are called "the great equalizer," meaning that it doesn't matter if you're 100 pounds or 250. But if you know what you're doing with a knife like that, it could come close. Note: I'm not female, but I'd rather fight back and die than be helplessly assaulted at whim.

[disregard]

I would rather fight back too.. without the risk of being stabbed repeatedly.

[PinkPiranha]

Originally Posted by disregard

I would rather fight back too.. without the risk of being stabbed repeatedly.

This is why I'm for the pocket pitbull. So what if it sprays foam and occasionally locks its jaws around your car keys? It more than makes up for those things by destroying your enemy one kneecap at a time.

Makes you wish switchblades were legal again.

[helen]

Originally Posted by Victor

If you ask open ended questions, it gives the impression you might be interested in the reply.

But if you ask closed questions, it looks like you want to be controlling and manipulative.

And you have asked closed questions above.

Of course you don't have to ask questions at all, you can just say what you think - but that would make you vulnerable.

And to protect your vulnerability, you try to control me with closed questions.

And you hide your intention behind, "Just curious".

I find it hard to believe you are motivated by simple curiosity.

Curiosity, they say, killed the cat. Perhaps the cat's name is Victor.

But look to your left - I am not a cat, I am a panther.

Perhaps you have just made a mistake, if so, do tell me your feelings on the matter - I would be delighted to listen.

I was literally just curious. Sorry if it came across as confrontational or argumentative. Lately I've been suspicious of the way some people use MBTI, but it's vague and hard to put my finger on, so when I read what you had written I wondered if you were sensing something similar to what I was and if you could explain it.

I'm not really sure what you mean by open vs closed questions. I tried to ask specific questions rather than vague ones, because I am interested in obtaining answers to specific questions, not in issuing a vague invitation to ramble vaguely.

But this is all utterly unrelated to the OP. Sorry, Pink!

[Victor]

Originally Posted by helen

I was literally just curious. Sorry if it came across as confrontational or argumentative. Lately I've been suspicious of the way some people use MBTI, but it's vague and hard to put my finger on, so when I read what you had written I wondered if you were sensing something similar to what I was and if you could explain it.

I'm not really sure what you mean by open vs closed questions. I tried to ask specific questions rather than vague ones, because I am interested in obtaining answers to specific questions, not in issuing a vague invitation to ramble vaguely.

But this is all utterly unrelated to the OP. Sorry, Pink!

Thanks for your reply Helen.

You may well have been literally, "just curious", however the phase is a common phrase perhaps with metaphorical overtones. And it seemed to me that you were dismissing your feelings by saying that you were just curious in the same way housewives dismiss themselves by saying they are just housewives.

And I am quite happy for you to be confrontational and argumentative with me - it may be a way for you express and discover your feelings.

And it is interesting how we use MBTI. I would like us to deepen our understanding of how we use MBTI. Part of that is understanding the history of MBTI and how it relates to similar movements.

It is very interesting that you find it hard to put your finger on your suspicions. So perhaps you might like to handle your suspicions and show them to us.

Perhaps you might like to feel your suspicions, bring them into your conscious mind and share them with us.

Your suspicions do sound interesting.

[Cality]

I was tought all my childhood to distrust any strangers and how to recognise the signs for a dangerous person. I never had any issues like this because I flew before each time.
I think, that's one big cultural difference between french and americans : americans trust untill proven wrong, french distrust until proven wrong. The consequences are that american are welcoming and warm to strangers and french are reserved and not open at first (and therefore appear rude, even though it's not rudeness).

[Anja]

Do you still have sexual harrassment on the streets in France, Cality? Or has political correctness put a damper on that universal sport?

If so, how do you handle it?

I'm thinking about the sort of interactions I've had on the streets of Mexico and how it felt different to me than the same kind of thing here in the States.

[Cality]

What kind of harassment? I don't really feel harassed when I walk through the streets. Maybe I just pay attention to where I go and when it happens, it's usually young occupationsless guys who say "hey, you're pretty" as they say to any thing that looks a little feminine (or when homeless just bet for money).
When it ever happens, I just ignore them, even if they insist. I try to walk assured and not to look unsure or scared. I make my face look extremly cold and unfriendly. It works so far. Some of my friend say it's better to say hi in this case, because the guys are supposed to do less harm to you if you are polite. I never managed to. I am not harassed, maybe slightly more when I am in Paris... not too much though. Why? Have you or friends been harassed here in France? I was more harassed in Belgium.

[Uytuun]

I was more harassed in Belgium

Wallonia, Brussels or Flanders?

I have to say I feel quite safe here (Flanders) and most of the places I've gone to in Europe I've felt pretty safe as well, even when we were out with a bunch of girls in capitals or such. I don't know what your treshold is for safe, but I don't consider a guy whistling at me or a bunch of drunk guys trying to make conversation sexual harassment, at least not automatically. If they leave me alone when I indicate I'm not interested, then that's fine.

I'm not overly polite and will simply go away when a random guy tries to chat me up and I don't feel good about it, I've hit guys that touched me while dancing (sometimes even when they did so accidentally - that's a risk you take) or left/declined when they wanted to dance with me and I didn't (sounds like the normal thing to do, but it isn't). This is not a very common behaviour here, though, and it can get you funny looks. When I feel endangered, I don't hesitate to lash out like a cat.

agency

I easily trust people when I intuit them as being alright, though, and will follow them through foreign cities in the middle of the night.