What's it like to be a Feeler?

[squibbles]

Originally Posted by Sunshine

Now I wish I understood thinkers. It really boggles my mind that people could make decisions without thinking about how it will make themselves or others feel. Why would you not want to make sure that you and others won't be hurt by your decison?

If you don't take your feelings into account when making a descision then won't you end up making descisions that will leave you feeling unhappy? Or is it a sort of indirect thing? Like you make the most logical descision without considering your own feelings and THAT makes you happy?

Before this thread I was actually under the impression that thinkers do consider feelings when descision making but just in a different way. Like perhaps for thinkers it's just one thing on the list of things to consider when making a descision but for feelers maybe it carries the weight that normally 5 items on the list would carry?

Hahaha here's an example: It has already crossed my mind 9 or 10 times how this very post would make people feel. "Should I have worded that differently? Will it offend people? Is it cold? Should I word it with more warmth? Will it irritate anybody?" Thoughts like that entered and re-entered my mind. Lol how did I do? SHOULD I have worded this post differently?

Just to make it clear I think both T and F are amazing and beautiful and I love the fact that there are both feelers and thinkers in the world.

The way you worded it, I definitely think about feelings when making decisions, but I test as an INTJ.

I think a good example of this is how I dealt with my roommate last year who felt that doing dishes was evil. This was particularly bothersome to me because we were freshman without a kitchen, and I was content to just get paper plates, but she wanted to split the cost of a cheap glass set. So I was fine with it, until moldy dishes began to accumulate in the room.

I definitely wanted to say something and end this once and for all, but I knew she was going through depression and I didn't want to make her feel like I was attacking her. So I brought up the issue in a rather round-about way--I said that I noticed that "neither one of us" was remembering to do the dishes, and so I asked her if she'd help me do half of them (when in actuality they were all hers). Then I mentioned that I was going to get some paper plates/plastic utensils for myself, but that she could keep using the dishes if she wanted.

So, in this sense, I definitely take people's feelings into account when I make decisions, but I don't let them have ALL the say. I mean, I felt pretty crappy bringing it up to her when she was feeling SO depressed already, and I did most of the dishes twice before I finally had it and stopped using them...but I just couldn't let guilt stop me from having a non-disgusting room.

But then again, I'm not a very strong INTJ...my T percentage is about 65% I think.

It's very interesting how the Feelers say they take everything at a personal level...except for one sore spot I have, I really don't take much personally at all, and often feel disconnected from other people...but I don't see that as a negative thing. (Except in romantic situations, which truly ARE the Achilles' heel of the INTJ....I just DON'T know how to turn off the T in that arena...)

[Sunshine]

Originally Posted by squibbles

The way you worded it, I definitely think about feelings when making decisions, but I test as an INTJ.

I think a good example of this is how I dealt with my roommate last year who felt that doing dishes was evil. This was particularly bothersome to me because we were freshman without a kitchen, and I was content to just get paper plates, but she wanted to split the cost of a cheap glass set. So I was fine with it, until moldy dishes began to accumulate in the room.

I definitely wanted to say something and end this once and for all, but I knew she was going through depression and I didn't want to make her feel like I was attacking her. So I brought up the issue in a rather round-about way--I said that I noticed that "neither one of us" was remembering to do the dishes, and so I asked her if she'd help me do half of them (when in actuality they were all hers). Then I mentioned that I was going to get some paper plates/plastic utensils for myself, but that she could keep using the dishes if she wanted.

So, in this sense, I definitely take people's feelings into account when I make decisions, but I don't let them have ALL the say. I mean, I felt pretty crappy bringing it up to her when she was feeling SO depressed already, and I did most of the dishes twice before I finally had it and stopped using them...but I just couldn't let guilt stop me from having a non-disgusting room.

But then again, I'm not a very strong INTJ...my T percentage is about 65% I think.

It's very interesting how the Feelers say they take everything at a personal level...except for one sore spot I have, I really don't take much personally at all, and often feel disconnected from other people...but I don't see that as a negative thing. (Except in romantic situations, which truly ARE the Achilles' heel of the INTJ....I just DON'T know how to turn off the T in that arena...)

Ah ok. Thanks for answering my question. Yeah it didn't quite mesh when I heard that thinkers don't take feelings into consideration because I've seen my ISTP brother and INTJ brother do things like that whole dishes incident.

Oh lol nah uhm I don't think feelers take EVERYTHING at a personal level.

[neofrizz]

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

I try very hard not to talk about my feelings/emotions. They are particularly valuable to me, as they are something that is not shared with many others (yet I am posting here... probably because I don't know any of you). I experience a wide range of emotion, but it doesn't show. i have been told I have "the perfect poker face", that I need to "lighten up", and that I am "entirely unreadable". I'm not entirely sure that you have to be expressive of your emotions to be an F.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

I trust my feelings as far as reason permits. There are some emotional responses which make sense and don't need to be ignored or stifled. Others, on the other hand, are almost always the result of sleep deprivation, extreme stress, or momentary weakness. I frequently find myself neglecting my feelings in order to better assess a situation. If I can look at things coolly, I will better understand them.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?

For me, it rarely does. If/when it does, I use the energy in solitary/creative ways. I find frustration of any sort to be great inspiration, but I can't share it with others. I feel that there are not any who would understand, and if there were that they would busy themselves in a similar manner.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

I don't really know if I qualify for T or F, but I do feel things. I just don't share. I think I would be worried about what I would feel if I did share my feelings.

Anyways, there's my input.

[Bella]

I have some questions aboout F. They are not intellectuall at all.

1. Do F's generally talk a lot?
2. Do F's generally post longer posts?

[cascadeco]

Originally Posted by Bella

I have some questions aboout F. They are not intellectuall at all.

1. Do F's generally talk a lot?
2. Do F's generally post longer posts?

1. Not an 'F' thing. More an E/I thing, although I'm not even sure that's a good generalization to make....even comparing myself and two other INFJ's I know, I'm by far the least talkative (in general I'm a very quiet person), whereas in contrast, one of the other two can talk anyone's ear off, and would probably be mistaken to be an extrovert.

2. Don't know. Doubt it? There are some T's on here who can make very lengthy posts, and many F's on here make extremely short posts. There might be more of a pattern in terms of cognitive functions rather than strictly T/F, but it would just be a general trend. There seems to be a lot of difference even within the same type.

[mlittrell]

it is impossible for me to explain. the only way i can explain it (now that i stated it is impossible to explain lol) is that when i need to make a decision about something, i dont stand back from whatever the situation but i put myself into the situation and ask myself, what is the right thing to do, or how do i feel about this.

[Haphazard]

Originally Posted by Bella

2. Do F's generally post longer posts?

No.

See: Bluewing.

At least, so he says.

[DigitalMethod]

It's like being a thinker who isn't afraid to put themselves into situations in which evoke their emotions. Who aren't afraid to express their feelings. And most importantly are comfortable expressing their feelings.

(Note: Theory)

[Neo Genesis]

Originally Posted by Tallulah

Okay, help us Ts out. From an INTP perspective, I may feel things internally, but I'm usually detached from my emotions, and they generally don't get taken into account when I argue or make a decision. I may rely on my intuition, or my "gut" feeling about something, but it won't necessarily be a "feeling" as I suspect F people would feel them. If I feel something strongly, I always try to take a step back so my logic won't get clouded by my subjective feelings.

So here's what I want to know (inspired by the Mock Emotions thread):

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
3) How does the feeling translate into action?
4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

You don't have to answer each individual question, as I probably repeated myself. Just give us an idea of what it's like to be F in this crazy world.

1) Ummm....I don't know. It's like I get a drive to do something. It definitely affects my mood. Man this is difficult to explain.

2) Most of the time. It may not always be the most logical/expected course of action, but whenever I do, it always puts me in a much better disposition.

3)

4) Someone (sorry, I forgot who) asked whether or not it was a mental or physical reaction. To be honest, I'd say it was neither, although that's just my own feeling on the matter. It just seems wrong to me if I try to classify feelings as mental, physiological, or some combination of both, so the answer then becomes neither. I hope that makes sense.

[PinkPiranha]

I ate a Lite Brite!