The psychology of forum and online dynamics

[Edahn]

Originally Posted by mippus

Or: making brutal teenish comments and others enjoying and encouraging that. An NTJ thing?

MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Probably just "NT."

[Edahn]

Originally Posted by Jennifer

That's funny. When I've done #1 and I get #2, usually I feel let down and disappointed, sometimes even frustrated and annoyed. I want someone to say either, "Yeah, I've been through that too, it sucks, huh?" or to sit there and dig through it all with me and figure out what it all means.

Could be SFJ... but I've seen a lot of FPs (both S and N) want that sort of thing too.

That makes sense. The peace of mind that an INTP gets from mapping a situation with accuracy and seeing how all the pieces fit together is immense. Why do you think people respond with you're so great ? I'm thinking either:

1. Inability to tolerate discomfort. I would bet that these people are also highly empathic.
2. Blog-culture: perceived pressure to "flock" and remain within the herd.
3. Something in the way your post is phrased, or maybe how other posts are phrased (diction, the way you reply to others, etc.). Not trying to call you out, of course, just "dig through it all," as you said.

[whatever]

Strategic alliances between people are also a part of forum culture There's always a lot of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" going on between people- responding to posts by people who respond to your posts, repping people who rep you, supporting those who are supportive of you...

[disregard]

Originally Posted by whatever

Strategic alliances between people are also a part of forum culture There's always a lot of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" going on between people- responding to posts by people who respond to your posts, repping people who rep you, supporting those who are supportive of you...

But what do you get from all this other than friendships forged by a motive?

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by Edahn

That makes sense. The peace of mind that an INTP gets from mapping a situation with accuracy and seeing how all the pieces fit together is immense. Why do you think people respond with you're so great ?

I think F people in particular (although not exclusively) want to know they're loved or accepted right away, as the basis.

I have watched T and F people argue together, and it is just CRAZY... The T's looking for intellectual validation and sometimes even a solution; the F's looking for personal validation, regardless of the problem, and a sense the other person empathizes and cares. (sort of the "sympathy" approach).

Sometimes sympathy is nice... but unless I am particularly needing affirmation of someone's commitment to me, it's like, "Okay, that's sweet of you and I know why you're doing that, thanks... but I still feel empty and untouched and indifferent."

1. Inability to tolerate discomfort. I would bet that these people are also highly empathic.

That happens. definitely.

2. Blog-culture: perceived pressure to "flock" and remain within the herd.

maybe, yes -- some form of group comraderie.

3. Something in the way your post is phrased, or maybe how other posts are phrased (diction, the way you reply to others, etc.). Not trying to call you out, of course, just "dig through it all," as you said.

Well, I think all types of people can use the same sort of language, it's just that we use it to mean different things. So yes, I think sometimes I'm throwing out lines that come across one way to some people but I mean it differently.

[I was just trying to help Targ, for example, and support her in her blog... and I kept analyzing her comments, clarifying what was going on, giving examples of my life to say, "Yes i understand"... and feeling like I wasn't really giving her what she wanted. I dunno. I just can't instinctively speak that other language well.]

I also think that, to other people, they truly desire that sympathetic affirmation -- it makes them feel loved and included -- which runs a little deeper in the herd thing imo. Just like when a kid falls down and skins his knee and the mom sympathizes immediately, where someone else might empathize but instead go to bandage it up. I have been in those situations -- where one of my children (the esfp) kept crying over something and he wouldn't stop no matter how understanding or empathic I was. he wanted very visceral sympathy, even if the problem never got fixed; but to me, that sort of sympathy didn't make any sense, it didn't seem substantial.

[Geoff]

Originally Posted by Dana

But what do you get from all this other than friendships forged by a motive?

Rather than simply questioning it as something of debatable value, here's your opportunity for the psychoanalysis to come in. What do you see as the the underlying motives? Why do you think this is happening on forums?

[whatever]

Originally Posted by Dana

But what do you get from all this other than friendships forged by a motive?

Humans are social animals- having a bond with others is often a means within its own!

[disregard]

Originally Posted by Geoff

Rather than simply questioning it as something of debatable value, here's your opportunity for the psychoanalysis to come in. What do you see as the the underlying motives? Why do you think this is happening on forums?

Security.. a sacrifice of quality and an insurance of security seems like a good tradeoff to some, I suppose.

[mippus]

Originally Posted by Dana

But what do you get from all this other than friendships forged by a motive?

Don't we all (even the most outspoken I's) want to belong to something? Isolation is one of our greatest fears. And yes, friendship has a very selfish side to it. So what? It's a convention and we all value and enjoy it...

[disregard]

Mippus, to quote whatever:

Originally Posted by Whatever

Strategic alliances between people are also a part of forum culture There's always a lot of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" going on between people- responding to posts by people who respond to your posts, repping people who rep you, supporting those who are supportive of you...

This is a cluttersome form of friendship.. takes up great space.. but it is empty and meaningness between the two persons.

Originally Posted by Mippus

Don't we all (even the most outspoken I's) want to belong to something? Isolation is one of our greatest fears. And yes, friendship has a very selfish side to it. So what? It's a convention and we all value and enjoy it...

I have friendships that mean a lot to me.. one of the reasons is that we do not scratch eachother's back, we do not make public displays of affection or recognition, but in private deeply appreciate one another and have a high quality friendship due to what is given and received. The other type.. I have absolutely no desire for.