Emotion control

[Lady X]

i can control negative ones pretty well...i think.
meaning...i don't have to express them...not that i handle them appropriately...unless it's something that makes me a lil mad...i think i can talk about it pretty easily without loosing my temper...i think i just like to resolve it quickly and move on...but sad ones...can't deal with...i do something to make myself happy immediately usually.

[aufs klo]

so it seems as it NFPs are great at controlling negative emotions, just awfull at using them constructivly

[Lady X]

yep...seems that way...wouldn't even know what constructive use looked like honestly...i mean...just going through it...as a healing thing...nope...not so much.

[xNTP]

Hey were did my post go?

Merged threads.

[Anja]

I don't like to use the word "control" in this context. "Dealing" with them works better for me. I don't think stifling emotions is a healthy response to them.

The majority of things we see doctors for are stress-related and a great deal of unrecognized stress is caused by "stuffing" feelings. They come out in physical ways - headaches, muscle tension, flare-ups of psychological problems, even stroke and heart attack. I've even seen literature correlating cancer with repressed anger. And many people believe that depression has a difficulty with anger component.

I can't quote statistics, but IIRC, the percentage of people getting medical help for something stress-related is in the seventieth percentile. Huge.

My thought? Control behavior, not feelings.

[Lady X]

anja...i think we're all in agreement of that...never meant to imply it was a good thing to not deal with negative emotions...and i know that it comes out physically...i've had panic/anxiety attacks and had no idea why...thought i was having a heart attack or something...really scary.

i actually have a hard time making big life altering decisions because the stress of it can be debilitating...it's a weird...and not good.

[Anja]

No criticism implied, erin. Offering a less harsh (to my ear) vocabulary here.

Are any of you familiar with Susan Sontag? She wrote a book called Illness As Metaphor and later, The Metaphors of AIDS. Both of these express thoughts about how society shapes and views those who develop disease.

But, then that is veering from the OP. Still, good reading for those interested in the emotional/social aspects of illness.

[Anja]

Here's an INFP thought:

I've been thinking about these folks who wind up the "world's largest ball of twine" and stuff like that. They spend their lives in what seems like meaningless occupation. I've had the thought that that action is a method of stifling something very strong inside of them which they prefer not to act upon.

And I have known people who are "too busy." Always "too busy" for whatever. I sometimes wonder if they aren't trying to run away from some intense feelings.

[Lady X]

you know...i should maybe clarify that i think i do alright with those feelings alone...i'm pretty good at psychoanalyzing myself...and that's the mode i get into when i need to work things out...and occasionally i'll speak to close friends or family about these things...i'm not a completely closed book...but i don't allow myself to be very vulnerable in this way...i don't think...i think my speech is usually pretty matter of fact and just kind of going over the conclusions i've come to. i don't like to be comforted so i think i intentionally act in a way that wouldn't elicit that response.

[Anja]

I think that's true for me also, erin. I'm pretty independent when it comes to taking care of my emotions.