Thomas-Kilmann Instrument / Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory

[INTJMom]

I just came across these this morning.
They sound interesting on the surface, so I'm going to check into them further.
I was hoping maybe some other folks might join me in exploring and discussing them.

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict MODE

• Competing is assertive and uncooperative
• Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative
• Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative
• Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative
• Compromising is moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness

Ralph Kilmann - Conflict MODE Instrument
http://www.dric.com/Assessments/TKI_Sample.pdf
Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Kraybill Conflict Style is a modification of the above.
Here is a free online early version test:
Personal Conflict Style Inventory
More about the development of this variation:
The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Inventory Strengths and limitations. Alternatives.

 

[INTJMom]

That inventory was interesting.
Many of the questions seemed to be asking if I were more "T" oriented or more "F" oriented.
One of the problems I used to have and still have trouble with every now and then is having the courage to speak up for what I want, or my point of view.
I used to just retreat and avoid, and I'm learning it's healthier and we're encouraged to speak up for ourselves.
My willingness to speak up though is usually determined by whether I believe anyone will care what I have to say, or whether I think it will do any good, i.e. whether I'll be successful.
The LAST thing I want is to start a brawl.
I'd rather just keep to myself.

 

[INTJMom]

I've read a little bit more, and now I feel like I wish there was a book on how to move from the unhealthier ways of dealing with conflict to the healthier ways.
"Collaborating" seems to be the one to shoot for, but in my opinion, the issue at hand isn't always worth the effort of a full-out collaboration.

"Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative - the opposite of avoiding. When collaborating,
an individual attempts to work with the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies the
concerns of both. It involves digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two
individuals and to find an alternative that meets both sets of concerns. Collaborating between
two persons might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other’s insights,
with the goal of resolving some condition that would otherwise have them competing for resources,
or confronting and trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem.


Uses
• To find an integrative solution when the concerns of both parties are too important to be compromised
• When your objective is to learn - for example, testing your own assumptions, understanding the views
of others
• To merge insights from people with different perspectives on a problem
• To gain commitment by incorporating others' concerns into a consensual decision
• To work through hard feelings that have been interfering with an interpersonal relationship"

 

[Xander]

Hmmm I've yet to read into this... my initial assessment of my own style would be that I'm accomodating though a little re-analysis lead me to believe that perhaps I lie closer to compromising.

I used to be quite avoidant of conflict believing that if I supressed my own desires and ideas then I would be untouchable. Instead all I found was that I kept on exploding as my inner wants boiled over.

Now I'm more likely to state exactly what I want at the start in an honest manner. This doesn't mean I expect to get it but I kinda figure it's more likely if someone other than me knows about it

I'll go through those links and see if I change my mind.

 

[INTJMom]

Hmmm I've yet to read into this... my initial assessment of my own style would be that I'm accomodating though a little re-analysis lead me to believe that perhaps I lie closer to compromising.

I used to be quite avoidant of conflict believing that if I supressed my own desires and ideas then I would be untouchable. Instead all I found was that I kept on exploding as my inner wants boiled over.

Now I'm more likely to state exactly what I want at the start in an honest manner. This doesn't mean I expect to get it but I kinda figure it's more likely if someone other than me knows about it

I'll go through those links and see if I change my mind.

I used to be totally avoidant, but probably for different reasons than yours.
As a child, I was not allowed to have an opinion.
I mean that I was never asked, and worse, if I voiced myself, I might be physically injured for doing so.
So fear was really my main reason for complying.

The absurd truth is that in the past year and a half as I have become active on different forums, that is where I have learned that I have a right to an opinion, and that I don't have to be afraid to voice it.
After all, no one knows where I live, so they can't hurt me.
It has truly helped me to have more courage in saying what I'm thinking and feeling.

Along with that, I have been learning that healthy people are willing to have a discussion and work out a compromise or collaborate on an issue. What has been a little frustrating is that my husband is now always accusing me of starting an argument when all I want is a discussion... a collaboration. I may have to bring him up to speed on the difference between the two.

 

[Eric B]

This instrument is basically like DiSC or Social Styles, but with a "moderate" range allowing for a fifth style. So it is basically a forerunner to the five temperament model I have been talking about:

Assertive is extroversion,
cooperative is Directing/Informing or people/task focus (not to be confused with Keirsey's "cooperative")

Since TKI seems to be describing basic person to person skills (Or FIRO "Inclusion"), then it probably matches Interaction Styles as well

Competing is assertive and uncooperative (Choleric, lower right on my avatar; EST/ENJ)
Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative (fifth temperament, upper left ISF/INP)
Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative (Melancholy, lower left IST/INJ)
Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative (Sanguine, upper right, ESF/ENP)
Compromising is moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness (Phlegmatic, center; also ISF/INP)

All of these models are probably inspired by the Blake-Mouton grid, which introduced the 0-9 "map" of these scales. A predecessor that did not gain popularity was Jay Hall. A later one that copied the model was Kraybill.

 

[Xander]

I used to be totally avoidant, but probably for different reasons than yours.
As a child, I was not allowed to have an opinion.
I mean that I was never asked, and worse, if I voiced myself, I might be physically injured for doing so.
So fear was really my main reason for complying.

Mine was more along the lines of people going . The physical harm was only ever introduced from those my own age (or there abouts).

One person said to me, in relation to an abusive relationship, "one day you'll get hit and it won't be the worst hit you've experienced... but it'll be the last" and I think that describes my relationship with the bullies involved.

The absurd truth is that in the past year and a half as I have become active on different forums, that is where I have learned that I have a right to an opinion, and that I don't have to be afraid to voice it.
After all, no one knows where I live, so they can't hurt me.
It has truly helped me to have more courage in saying what I'm thinking and feeling.

More!!! More!!!
*stamps feet and bats fist on desk*

Along with that, I have been learning that healthy people are willing to have a discussion and work out a compromise or collaborate on an issue. What has been a little frustrating is that my husband is now always accusing me of starting an argument when all I want is a discussion... a collaboration. I may have to bring him up to speed on the difference between the two.

Ooo you're on a losing battle there. The man has the TV remote. What you propose is heresy plain and simple!!



It took me and my missus a while with that one but I'd recommend it to anyone who wants long term happiness. It's nice to get what you want but it's so much nicer if other's agree to helping you get it rather than just sitting there scowling about it

This instrument is basically like DiSC or Social Styles, but with a "moderate" range allowing for a fifth style. So it is basically a forerunner to the five temperament model I have been talking about:

Assertive is extroversion,
cooperative is Directing/Informing or people/task focus (not to be confused with Keirsey's "cooperative")

Since TKI seems to be describing basic person to person skills (Or FIRO "Inclusion"), then it probably matches Interaction Styles as well

Competing is assertive and uncooperative (Choleric, lower right on my avatar; EST/ENJ)
Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative (fifth temperament, upper left ISF/INP)
Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative (Melancholy, lower left IST/INJ)
Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative (Sanguine, upper right, ESF/ENP)
Compromising is moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness (Phlegmatic, center; also ISF/INP)

All of these models are probably inspired by the Blake-Mouton grid, which introduced the 0-9 "map" of these scales. A predecessor that did not gain popularity was Jay Hall. A later one that copied the model was Kraybill.

Too many names... mind faltering... second cousin to who's ex wife's sons sister?



I've no idea in regard to the names but you're right about the parallel. I hadn't seen that till you pointed it out. Negotiation style as an aspect of temperaments. It's a good point.

 

[INTJMom]

This instrument is basically like DiSC or Social Styles, but with a "moderate" range allowing for a fifth style. So it is basically a forerunner to the five temperament model I have been talking about:

Assertive is extroversion,
cooperative is Directing/Informing or people/task focus (not to be confused with Keirsey's "cooperative")

Since TKI seems to be describing basic person to person skills (Or FIRO "Inclusion"), then it probably matches Interaction Styles as well

Competing is assertive and uncooperative (Choleric, lower right on my avatar; EST/ENJ)
Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative (fifth temperament, upper left ISF/INP)
Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative (Melancholy, lower left IST/INJ)
Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative (Sanguine, upper right, ESF/ENP)
Compromising is moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness (Phlegmatic, center; also ISF/INP)

All of these models are probably inspired by the Blake-Mouton grid, which introduced the 0-9 "map" of these scales. A predecessor that did not gain popularity was Jay Hall. A later one that copied the model was Kraybill.

Thank you for that.
That's really interesting.
Those parameters probably need to be held pretty loosely, I guess, just like everything else.
Thankfully, people don't have to stay stuck in the unhealthy ways of dealing with things.
My ISTP husband is one of the best mediator/negotiators I know.

 

[INTJMom]

...
More!!! More!!!
*stamps feet and bats fist on desk*

Aren't you afraid of making a SCENE at work?!

 

[Xander]

Aren't you afraid of making a SCENE at work?!

Well I can't make anything else... I'm not trained on the machines

 

[INTJMom]

 

[Xander]

*Refuses to take perfect set up for one liner*

Mom, if you don't want to break your filter, quit setting up smutty jokes!!

Anyhow.. my results
Calm
Response when issues/conflicts first arise.

11 Collaborating
9 Compromising
9 Forcing
8 Avoiding
6 Accommodating

Storm
Response after the issues/conflicts have been unresolved an have grown in intensity.

11 Avoiding
10 Compromising
9 Accommodating
7 Collaborating
6 Forcing

Now, to cross threads for a moment, let's see them make ENTP out of THAT lot!

 

[Eric B]

Uh, actually, Collaborating would be the Sanguine (high in both scales) and would correspond to Get Things Going (ENP). And Sanguines would become "avoiding" if there was no resolution; as they don't like conflict. Considering that your FIRO Inclusion score was fairly high in both scales ("People Gatherer") and then all the stuff people were pointing out in the Mistype thread ("bouncing around"; forget the term they were using); from all sides, ENTP does look like a better fit.

 

[Xander]

Uh, actually, Collaborating would be the Sanguine (high in both scales) and would correspond to Get Things Going (ENP). Considering that your FIRO Inclusion score was fairly high in both scales ("People Gatherer") and then all the stuff people were pointing out in the Mistype thread ("bouncing around"; forget the term they were using); from all sides, ENTP does look like a better fit.

Not you too!!

The whole inclusion side was further modified after my father observed my behaviour around people. The side note was that I'm inclusive of people I like, the rest I'm not overly bothered about.

Having mused over that addendum I tend to agree. If I like someone then I will go out of my way to include them and keep them happy. If I'm not bothered or don't like them then they are accorded similar amounts of courtesy.

I'm thinking that people tend to mistype me online because I'm here to have a bit of fun and to enjoy the interaction. When I'm not enjoying it or not bothered, I don't turn up. It's that simple. Hence the regular absences.

Seriously though... INTP 4 eva!!!

 

[Eric B]

Well, sorry; but it seems these tests, plus others observation, is suggesting a higher level of "expressiveness", which would lend to extraversion.

In Inclusion, you were just right and above center, which would imply that you are a little more than moderately expressive, and also a little more than moderately responsive (wanting of people), so what you say would make sense. You can basically take people or leave them (like the Phlegmatic or INP), but you have people you like and will be more expressive to.

I/E is the least important as to who we really are, and this is better than the way you and others keep making me an F.

 

[Xander]

Well, sorry; but it seems these tests, plus others observation, is suggesting a higher level of "expressiveness", which would lend to extraversion.

In Inclusion, you were just right and above center, which would imply that you are a little more than moderately expressive, and also a little more than moderately responsive (wanting of people), so what you say would make sense. You can basically take people or leave them (like the Phlegmatic or INP), but you have people you like and will be more expressive to.

I/E is the least important as to who we really are, and this is better than the way you and others keep making me an F.

It's not about which letter is important though.. it's about the type itself. If I'm an ENTP then the work I will have undertaken to improve myself will have been wasted!

Besides I'd not mind being an INFP. I see fewer and fewer differences between them the more I get to know people.

 

[INTJMom]

*Refuses to take perfect set up for one liner*

Mom, if you don't want to break your filter, quit setting up smutty jokes!!

Anyhow.. my results
Calm
Response when issues/conflicts first arise.

11 Collaborating
9 Compromising
9 Forcing
8 Avoiding
6 Accommodating

Storm
Response after the issues/conflicts have been unresolved an have grown in intensity.

11 Avoiding
10 Compromising
9 Accommodating
7 Collaborating
6 Forcing

Now, to cross threads for a moment, let's see them make ENTP out of THAT lot!

When did you become an ENTP?!

 

[Eric B]

A lot of people were suggesting it on the "Mistyped Members" thread.

It's not about which letter is important though.. it's about the type itself. If I'm an ENTP then the work I will have undertaken to improve myself will have been wasted!

Besides I'd not mind being an INFP. I see fewer and fewer differences between them the more I get to know people.

The cognitive dynamics of types differing only by E or I is very close, as they have the same preferences, only each pair being reversed. Change T/F, now, you're bringing Fi out of the bottom of the shadow and making it dominant, and sending Ti down into the depths. This would probably be less of a drastic change if you held pure Keirseyan temperament theory, which uses the letters apart from the functions.

So the principles for self-improvement for I vs E types are probably not all that different either. Probably just stuff like how an extravert can tone down, instead of how an introvert can become more assertive. But you're still pretty close to moderate, so that should not be a problem, as you're most likely well rounded. (You did seem upfront more introverted to me, and with the classic Phlegmatic "wry humor". I was surprised you would come up on the "expressive side" in either FIRO or TKI).

 

[Xander]

When did you become an ENTP?!

It's a theory that's being thrashed out. Apparently I "sound" like an ENTP cause I skip around too much in my thinking.

The cognitive dynamics of types differing only by E or I is very close, as they have the same preferences, only each pair being reversed. Change T/F, now, you're bringing Fi out of the bottom of the shadow and making it dominant, and sending Ti down into the depths. This would probably be less of a drastic change if you held pure Keirseyan temperament theory, which uses the letters apart from the functions.

So the principles for self-improvement for I vs E types are probably not all that different either. Probably just stuff like how an extravert can tone down, instead of how an introvert can become more assertive. But you're still pretty close to moderate, so that should not be a problem, as you're most likely well rounded. (You did seem upfront more introverted to me, and with the classic Phlegmatic "wry humor". I was surprised you would come up on the "expressive side" in either FIRO or TKI).

I keep getting the sense from you that you get too tied up in the whole "science" of the function order and all the intricacies. I still pick up an F vibe from you... in fact aren't your results in your signature more F slanted?

Going back to topic.. do I rate as a 9 then or has that changed too?

 

[Eric B]

I keep getting the sense from you that you get too tied up in the whole "science" of the function order and all the intricacies. I still pick up an F vibe from you...

Well the intricacies and stuff are the Ti. If you're picking up F, maybe it's the inferior Fe? You said somethng aout the way I am in e-mails. Since it is relating to another, that would be more Fe. It would have to be Fi in order for me to be an NFP type, and I don't see how you would be picking that up in anything I've written.

in fact aren't your results in your signature more F slanted?

No; that shows more precisely where I have F leanings (in two out of the five T/F subscales), and that I still overall am more T. So again, that is most likely what you are picking up.

Going back to topic.. do I rate as a 9 then or has that changed too?

Could be. I would think that 9, since it's so Phlegmatic, would be more moderate, and not as introverted as the 5, which many of us are coming out as. So that could cover your moderate to high expressive behavior as the other tests are picking up.