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  1. #1
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Default Childhood relational experiences quiz

    I found this study/theory/book while googling about love styles. It's aim is mapping preferences/behaviors in love styles to childhood experiences/traumas.

    Landing page introduction:
    Your childhood relational experiences are wired into your behaviors and beliefs, creating imprints called “love styles"


    Take the quiz here
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  2. #2
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Growing up with an unpredictable parent, Vacillators’ needs aren’t top priority. Without consistent parental affection, they develop feelings of abandonment. By the time the parent feels like giving again, their child is tired of waiting and too angry to receive. As adults, Vacillators are on a quest to find the consistent love they never received as children. They idealize new relationships, but then get tired of it once life (and the relationship) gets less than perfect.

    Vacillators are idealists and on a quest to find intense, consistent, close connection so they are not left feeling abandoned, unseen, or misunderstood as they were during childhood. As a Vacillator, you bounce between idealization and angry, disappointment.

  3. #3
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Just when I thought...
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  4. #4
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Just when I thought...
    well adjusted, secure people are nerds! nerd!

  5. #5
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    I think this quiz is limited in dimension. The setup of the questions essentially pigeonholes anyone with a traumatic past into having presently unhealthy relationships/love styles. It's narrow in scope, in terms of recognizing those who have experienced adversity/trauma/abuse and worked to overcome it.

    Interesting rephrasing of basic attachment theory, however. More palatable for readers, perhaps.
    I see where they were going, but I think the creators missed the mark/oversimplified, which may misinform or confuse some individuals versus offer useful insight.

    My results placed me mostly in the "avoider" category- which is in keeping with my previous psychologists' discussions with me about the fearful-avoidant attachment style. So, no surprises here.. but at the same time, this quiz seems to overcategorize solely based on the traumatic experiences alone (or lack thereof), not necessarily accounting for personal growth, & self insight (or lack thereof). It may, as a result, give individuals an impression that they're far more- or far less- healthy than they truly are.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  6. #6
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    You might be a Avoider...
    Avoiders usually come from performance-based homes that value mastery, encourage independence and self reliance and discourage the expression of feelings or needs. These homes lack affection, tenderness or personal discussions. The focus is responsibility.

    Avoiders respond to the anxiety of not having comfort and nurturing by learning to take care of themselves. They restrict their feelings and needs and become independent. So, as adults they avoid emotions and neediness because that’s what they learned to do as kids. The spouses of avoiders have similar complaints. I don’t get any affection and my spouse doesn’t seem to really need much. I can’t get close.
    Sounds pretty familiar. Also got fairly high on vacillator and pleaser. Jeez. I knew I had a few issues, but I thought I was healthy.

    I'm pretty affectionate in intimate relationships though.

  7. #7
    Ginkgo
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    ^ LOL

  8. #8
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    I think this quiz is limited in dimension.
    Aren't they all?

    The setup of the questions essentially pigeonholes anyone with a traumatic past into having presently unhealthy relationships/love styles. It's narrow in scope, in terms of recognizing those who have experienced adversity/trauma/abuse and worked to overcome it.

    Interesting rephrasing of basic attachment theory, however. More palatable for readers, perhaps.
    I see where they were going, but I think the creators missed the mark/oversimplified, which may misinform or confuse some individuals versus offer useful insight.

    Welp, I usually take things with a couple grains of salt, and recommend others do the same. But of course online tests do and cannot cover everything. They're just an aid in introspection.. some people might just let the internet do their thinking for them, entirely, though, out of convenience perhaps?

    ETA:
    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post


    ^ LOL
    Looking good tater
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  9. #9
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Looking good tater

  10. #10
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Welp, I usually take things with a couple grains of salt, and recommend others do the same. But of course online tests do and cannot cover everything. They're just an aid in introspection.. some people might just let the internet do their thinking for them, entirely, though, out of convenience perhaps?
    Yeah, that's what I was referring to. The people who DO look at these tests and allow them to do the evaluating for them, vs introspecting on their own or discussing their concerns with a doctor (maybe I haven't got high hopes for humanity, haha). It seems like one of those tests that may influence some people not to seek assistance, or to further feed their own self-denial, perhaps. "This test was made by a Pastor and his marriage counsellor wife- I must be A-OK."

    But eh, indeed. Better them than me.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

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