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  1. #11
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    Yeah, that's what I was referring to. The people who DO look at these tests and allow them to do the evaluating for them, vs introspecting on their own or discussing their concerns with a doctor (maybe I haven't got high hopes for humanity, haha). It seems like one of those tests that may influence some people not to seek assistance, or to further feed their own self-denial, perhaps.
    People will make the choice for introspection and seeking help (or they won't) for their own subjective and countless reasons. I think the same could be said of any generic internet quiz of the same kind. I don't see anything in particular about this one that causes it to particularly endorse that.

    "This test was made by a Pastor and his marriage counsellor wife- I must be A-OK."
    She does claim to have training in the field:
    master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling in 1993. Her specialty is treating couples using attachment theory as the foundation of her work.
    as for him:
    Milan enjoys martial arts, biking and playing the guitar.
    he just rocks and kick's ass, apparently.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  2. #12
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    People will make the choice for introspection and seeking help (or they won't) for their own subjective and countless reasons. I think the same could be said of any generic internet quiz of the same kind. I don't see anything in particular about this one that causes it to particularly endorse that.
    Of course. I'm merely stating my own opinion about the general utility of the test, even for shits & giggles. Nothing personal. Some online tests seem more or less useful than others, I think. Depends.


    She does claim to have training in the field:
    Eh, perhaps it's the global/whole picture thing, but I prefer someone with more credentials than just a master's in family therapy. But like I said, that's just my own preference.


    as for him:

    he just rocks and kick's ass, apparently.


    Like this guy?
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  3. #13
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Pleaser. But my God, this quiz makes it sound like it's impossible to be a well-balanced person in terms of love styles. All the types seem to have some kind of deep-seated neurosis as a result of childhood. Where's the category for "my parents loved me and did a good job raising me and now I'm a well-adjusted adult capable of a mature and loving relationship"?
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

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  4. #14
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    Pleaser. But my God, this quiz makes it sound like it's impossible to be a well-balanced person in terms of love styles. All the types seem to have some kind of deep-seated neurosis as a result of childhood. Where's the category for "my parents loved me and did a good job raising me and now I'm a well-adjusted adult capable of a mature and loving relationship"?
    That's just a Myth.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  5. #15
    garbage
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    Oh man, I hate drudging up the past.


    .. whoa, that's even the subject of some of the questions:
    21. I have few feelings about my childhood except I’m glad it’s over.
    53. When people ask me about my childhood, I don’t have a lot of memories.



    Which makes me... Avoider first; Pleaser second. Vacillator should have been up there, too.


    edit: Personality assessments that tell you in what way you're messed up don't necessarily measure the degree to which you're messed up. As a result, they'll seem to magnify negative traits.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    Where's the category for "my parents loved me and did a good job raising me and now I'm a well-adjusted adult capable of a mature and loving relationship"?
    That was basically my objection to an Enneagram thread— suggesting parents automatically screwed up their kids, no matter what they did. It made no sense.
    "My mom and dad love me." -----------> Wow, I'm screwed!

  7. #17
    null Jonny's Avatar
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    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #18
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    I scored highest on pleaser, closely followed by avoider and vacillator. Very low on controller and victim.

    Interesting.
    INtp
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  9. #19
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Avoiders usually come from performance-based homes that value mastery, encourage independence and self reliance and discourage the expression of feelings or needs. These homes lack affection, tenderness or personal discussions. The focus is responsibility.
    Oh if only I had come from that. My parents probably should have pushed me harder to be honest. I probably would have gotten a 4.0 in school then. Lacked affection, good Lord my mom still jumps my ass if I try and leave the house without hugging her and telling her I love her.

    Avoiders respond to the anxiety of not having comfort and nurturing by learning to take care of themselves. They restrict their feelings and needs and become independent. So, as adults they avoid emotions and neediness because that’s what they learned to do as kids. The spouses of avoiders have similar complaints. I don’t get any affection and my spouse doesn’t seem to really need much. I can’t get close.
    Had plenty of comfort and nurturing... I'm an only child and all my life I was teased for being a spoiled brat because I was an only child... That's what pushed me to become independent. I wanted to prove that I could do it on my own.

    Runner-up was pleaser...
    Pleasers usually grow up in a home with an overly protective or angry critical parent. Pleaser children do everything they can to “be good” and avoid troubling their reactive parent. These kids don’t get comfort: rather, they spend their energy comforting or appeasing their troublesome parent. As adults, Pleasers tend to continually monitor the moods of others around them to keep everyone happy. Eventually, they can become resentful and break down or leave the relationship.
    My parents definitely had that overly protective thing down pat. They were never really critical, though. Again, I got too much comfort most of the time. I am pretty guilty of just trying to keep everyone happy.


  10. #20
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Meh. I appreciate this quiz, but I just can't take it. The questions are too poorly thought out. Also, I'm just re-born on the 10th and am changing in these ways, so it wouldn't be accurate for me that way either.

    Suffice it to say abandonment and neglect affected my ability to feel known and loved. I am now trying to ameliorate that to the best of my ability, with the help and love and support of my trusted friends. I love You.
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    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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