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Thread: Johari/Nohari [ -> Harikari? ] Charts

  1. #41
    Protocol Droid Array Athenian200's Avatar
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    Why is it so hard for everyone to do the Nohari section? It's just a list of negatives. Everyone has negative traits, so why is it bad to describe them? I don't get it. One person thought I was both observant and imperceptive. I think those are antonyms, which makes it kind of funny.

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Array Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    Why is it so hard for everyone to do the Nohari section? It's just a list of negatives. Everyone has negative traits, so why is it bad to describe them? I don't get it. One person thought I was both observant and imperceptive. I think those are antonyms, which makes it kind of funny.
    I think I am taking it seriously, rather than casually.

    And sometimes the words there are not quite accurate, or there are not enough words that truly match up.

    And a negative, if not prepared for, often can have a very negative impact.
    Even a positive person will be looking at the negatives as 'things to correct.'

    So if I feed someone inaccurate words, it has a very likely chance of not only making them feel awkward/embarrassed but also driving them to correct things about themselves that aren't actual problems. If I'm going to give someone constructive criticism, I'm going to make sure it's either accurate or that I have qualified the limits of my comments.

    In this list, you get a limited set of choices, and you can't qualify anything.

    PS. Yours was easy to do.
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  3. #43

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  4. #44
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  5. #45
    Morlock Array Rhu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    (1) the things I see as weak inside myself that no one else seems to notice (!)
    (2) the things that others agree on from the outside, that just did not cross my mind, really.
    One thing I've hypothesized from looking at these things before, perhaps especially in insecure individuals, is that:

    Adjectives picked in Johari windows tends towards "positive aspects that we have in common," while the Nohari tend more towards, "where I think I'm better than you."

  6. #46
    The elder Holmes Array Mycroft's Avatar
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    I don't mind helping out for the people who want it, but given that I think everyone's personae on this board and their actual personalities are vastly different, I have to question how useful the results will be.

  7. #47
    Dhampyr Array Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhu View Post
    One thing I've hypothesized from looking at these things before, perhaps especially in insecure individuals, is that:

    Adjectives picked in Johari windows tends towards "positive aspects that we have in common," while the Nohari tend more towards, "where I think I'm better than you."
    The latter makes sense to me; the former not so much. I find I notice how people deviate from me while taking for granted how we are similar - especially with regard to strengths (I am Disagreeable and hence always good for pointing out a flaw ).

    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    I don't mind helping out for the people who want it, but given that I think everyone's personae on this board and their actual personalities are vastly different, I have to question how useful the results will be.
    Personally I'm using the charts to find out how I am perceived on this board. I (naively?) don't think they would glean much new information among RL friends and acquaintances.

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    I don't mind helping out for the people who want it, but given that I think everyone's personae on this board and their actual personalities are vastly different, I have to question how useful the results will be.
    I'm going to quibble about the assumptions made with the bolded phrase [At the very basic, how can you actually make a statement like that WITHOUT even knowing everyone IRL... and thus you WOULD be actually to better critique them accurately? Isn't your statement inherently contradictory?], but I agree that the xohari pages must be taken with a sense of their limitations.

    I also see where Rhu is going. We each have our internal checklist of values and tend to make our evaluations of others based on the things we do and do not value. I think the bias comes out more strongly on the negative critiques, not as much on the positive critiques... It seems easier for people to accept someone else's strengths, even if they are different than ours; but the negatives really irk us and clash with our values more directly, making them seem larger and harder for us to be objective about as we should be.

    (It is not that big an issue to me, as much as I'm making it sound. I guess I am more fussing over what I see as flaws/weaknesses in the criticisms, rather than the overall value/direction of the criticism. The windows have to be taken with a grain of salt. They are just useful general "aha" tools, of which the limitations need to be understood.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #49
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    It doesn't seem like people have been doing the newer ones.

  10. #50
    Dhampyr Array Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'm going to quibble about the assumptions made with the bolded phrase
    Oh yeah, I don't agree that online and offline personalities are vastly different (maybe for people who repress their personalities offline?). I do think they're different enough that it's more meaningful to do separate charts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zergling View Post
    It doesn't seem like people have been doing the newer ones.
    I'll get around to it soon!

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