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  1. #371
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Default Personality Defect Test

    The Personality Defect Test will provide an accurate analysis of your true personality, but it will do so in a manner that is very insultinf, cynical, and unintentionally ridiculous. It uses four variables--gentleness, humility, extroversion, and rationality--in order to determine what kind of person you are. And, unlike traditional personality tests, it will focus on the negative aspects of these results as opposed to the positive. It will also be filled with much of my inane ramblings, which shall help lead you through the forest of boredom and into a land of honey, and suckles, and honeysuckles and me.

    Why is my test better (and more arrogant) than the others? Because it is more informative, more entertaining, and also rather unique (as well as overly self-laudatory). Most personality tests only see emphasize the positive aspects of your personality, mentioning negative traits with an inaudible whisper if they even get mentioned at all. They are biased to reflect your personality in a more positive light. They will go on and on about how creative or brilliant you are even though you feel a lagging suspicion that you are not really some brilliant genius / wonderful teacher / cunning inventor or resolute superhero. However, this personality test has a less common negative bias. It won't shower you with exaggerative praise. Instead, it will shower you with a fine sprinkle of fecal dust and judgmental arrogance. And even though the results will doubt be insulting, try to remember the effort that the author put into making this test, and to consider how difficult it is to make fecal powder from feces and judgmental arrogance. It's like churning butter, except less delicious.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  2. #372
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    So Funny!

    Emo Kid
    You are 0% Rational, 29% Extroverted, 29% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant.

    You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this:
    life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad
    So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father.
    I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

    To put it less negatively:
    1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
    2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.
    3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
    4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

    Compatibility:
    Your exact opposite is the Smartass.
    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  3. #373
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Ty to whoever moved this. I tried to do a search

    Anyways...

    Hand-Raiser

    You are 57% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 29% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant

    You are the Hand-Raiser, that annoying kid in class who always had an answer for everything. No doubt, as a child you probably sat in the front of the class, anxiously waving your hand back and forth in the air while your teacher desperately tried to avoid calling on you because you were the ONLY fucking kid that answered her questions. Clearly, the key traits of your personality are your rationality and your extroversion. You are like a little talkative calculator, in other words. You also tend to be rather gentle and less arrogant than most people. Your presence is a bane to everyone's existence, because you are too nice for your own good and you absolutely will not shut up. So what is your defect, then? Well, you're boring, and when you're not boring, you are just plain annoying with your ultra-logical responses and constant need to talk to others. So keep waving that hand in the air, son. I'm still not calling on you. You are too logical, you talk too much, and your humility and gentleness only makes me hate you more, because they make me feel like I almost SHOULDN'T hate you. But I do. Big time. And by the way, the more you wave your hand in class--your extended hand becoming nothing more than a blur as you insanely wave it, thinking we can't see it--the more smug satisfaction the teacher takes in watching the look of excrutiating pain cross your face as you agonize over not being called on, and the longer we'll wait to call on you, just because we absolutely love torturing you so.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  4. #374
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Robot

    You are 57% Rational, 29% Extroverted, 29% Brutal, and 29% Arrogant.

    You are the Robot! You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being. You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.) You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me. In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious.


    To put it less negatively:

    1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

    2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

    3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

    4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.



    Compatibility:

    Your exact opposite is the Class Clown.

    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Emo Kid, and the Haughty Intellectual.
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




  5. #375
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Robot
    You are 57% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 43% Brutal, and 29% Arrogant
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  6. #376
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Smartass
    You are 100% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.
    You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. In fact, you could very well be the anti-Christ, as you are almost the exact opposite of everything Jesus was supposed to be. While Jesus says love your enemy, you say love beating the crap out of your enemy. While Jesus raises the dead, you raise hell. While Jesus walks on water, you tend to sink. You probably consider people who are emotional and gentle to be big pussies who are obviously in lesser stature than you. You have many flaws, despite your seeming intelligence and cool-headedness. For instance, you aren't very nice. In fact, you're probably an asshole. And you are conceited and self-centered. Not only that, but you are very loud and vocal about all this, seeing as how you are extroverted. There is no better way to describe you than as a "smartass", I'm afraid. Perhaps just "ass" would do, too. But that's a little less literary and descriptive. At any rate, your main personality defect is the fact that you are self-centered, mean, uncaring, and brutally logical.

    To put it less negatively:
    1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
    2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
    3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
    4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

    Compatibility:
    Your exact opposite is the Emo Kid.
    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Braggart, and the Sociopath.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  7. #377
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
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    Robot

    You are 86% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 43% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant.
    You are the Robot! You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being. You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.) You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me. In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious.
    To put it less negatively:

    1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

    2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

    3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

    4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.



    Compatibility:

    Your exact opposite is the Class Clown.

    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Emo Kid, and the Haughty Intellectual.
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

  8. #378
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Spiteful Loner

    You are 71% Rational, 29% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant.

    You are the Spiteful Loner, the personality type that is most likely to go on a shooting rampage. In high school, you were probably that kid who wore all black and who sat alone in a corner of the lunch room, drawing pictures of dead babies. You are a rational person and tend to hold emotions in very low-esteem; not only that, but you are also rather introverted, meaning you probably bury any emotions you feel deep inside yourself, like all of the bodies in your backyard. Combine these traits with your dislike of others and your brutality, and it seems that you would be quite likely to shoot innocent people in a rampage. Most likely, you also have low self-esteem. Hell, I get low self-esteem just looking at you. This is only yet one more incentive to go on a shooting rampage, because you wouldn't care if you died as a result. Granted, you probably haven't gone on a shooting rampage and probably never will, but all the motivations are there. All you need is for someone to push you over the edge, calling you names and belittling you. Like me. But don't shoot me. I have a 101 mile-long knife, you know. In conclusion, your personality is defective because you are too introverted, brutal, insecure, and rather unemotional. No wonder no one hangs around you, you morbid, cold-hearted freak!

  9. #379
    ... Tyrinth's Avatar
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    Bitch-Slap

    You are 29% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 100% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.

    You are the Bitch-Slap, the hallmark response of any abusive husband! You are more intuitive than others, focusing more on feelings than rational explanations, and you are also probably very brutual because you care more about yourself than the well-being of others. As all nagging wives know, brutality combined with emotion often leads to BITCH-SLAPPING, which is why you are called "The Bitch Slap". (That and because I find it amusing to accuse people of pummeling female dogs.) Your humility probably stems from insecurity, if anything, because people fond of slapping the shit out of someone in place of rational discussion are usually not humble in the way Jesus was humble. Possible sources of insecurity? A small penis, a small bank account, a small intelligence...gee, when you say "small" a lot, it stops sounding like a real word! Not only that, but you are also rather introverted, and any tendencies towards brutality you possess may also result from the fact that you bottle up your emotions and don't show them to others until you explode in rage like some sort of shaken soda can. Take it from me, it is much more rewarding to bottle beer over emotions. You can't get wasted on emotions. Aside from all my talk (and it's a lot of talk) you are probably not a VIOLENT person, just someone who is rather selfish and who makes decisions based upon emotional motives. At any rate, being a bitch-slap does not necessarily mean you will abuse your spouse (your body odor is no doubt abuse enough); it only means you are rather intuitive, uncaring toward others, brutal, introverted, and possibly insecure.

    And sorry about that body odor remark if you really are insecure. I promise that you smell like roses. Being fertilized by cow shit.



    To put it less negatively:

    1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

    2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

    3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

    4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

    Compatibility:

    Your exact opposite is the Braggart.

    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Schoolyard Bully, the Class Clown, and the Brute.

    *

    *
    Not the "Emo kid"? What a twist!


    Am I the only one that got a chuckle out of his weird comments?
    ...

  10. #380
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    EMO KID

    Emo Kid
    You are 14% Rational, 43% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant.

    You scored 14% on Rationality, higher than 8% of your peers.

    You scored 43% on Extroversion, higher than 41% of your peers.

    You scored 0% on Brutality, higher than 5% of your peers.

    You scored 43% on Arrogance, higher than 54% of your peers.
    Best personality test ever. This is pretty much the only typology system in the world that recognizes the "rational" and "intuitive/emotional" brain systems as a dichotomy.

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