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  1. #61
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Cernunnos

    Indeed, you are 58% erudite, 79% sensual, 38% martial, and 71% saturnine.
    Cernunnos was one of the most important of all the Celtic Gods. He was the horned God of fertility, sexual love, the wilderness and wild animals. He was known as the stag deity and as such was portrayed with an impressive set of antlers sprouting from his head.

    Since he was so popular, the Catholic Church discovered that the Celts were extremely resistant to abandoning his worship for the sake of a new religion called Christianity. So the Church decided that instead of ignoring Cernunnos altogether, they would simply incorporate his horned image with the Catholic notion of "Satan." Abracadabra! With a wave of the hand one Celtic Nature God becomes a Christian devil. This is why Western culture often depicts Satan with horns. Apparently the tactic worked since to this day horns are, more often than not, linked symbolically with diabolical matters.

    This is a most telling example of the extreme contrast between the pagan religion of the Celtic Druids and the dogmatic authoritarianism of Christianity. The Celts lived in harmony with the sacred experience of the natural world that flourished all around them. All phenomena were considered divine and worthy of respect and veneration. Christianity on the other hand sees nature as something to be controlled and conquered. In other words, the Celts, and all pagan cultures for that matter, believed themselves to be of nature; Christianity spread the notion that humans were above nature.

    Sigh. Sorry if that depressed you.

  2. #62
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    Hades

    Indeed, you are 83% erudite, 54% sensual, 71% martial, and 83% saturnine.


    Simply put, Hades was a God of the Underworld, comparable to Midir of the Celts. After dying, a person entered the Underworld by first travelling through the groves of Persephone, onto the gates of Hades which were guarded by the three-headed dog Cerberus, a lot like the Norse "watchdog of hell", Garm.

    Being the ruler of the Underworld, Hades was naturally the God of Death, but he was also the God of prosperity and wealth. He could be terrifying or generous depending on where one stood in his favour. The way one kept on his good side was by offering him black sheep.

    Hades didn't get around much, preferring to stay home in the Underworld, a vast underground kingdom of caves and tunnels, with his wife Persephone to whom he was faithful.

  3. #63
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    I am Amun, king of the Egyptian gods. Unlikely.

  4. #64

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    Dagda

    Indeed, you are 38% erudite, 21% sensual, 33% martial, and 25% saturnine

  5. #65
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    Coyote
    Indeed, you are 79% erudite, 71% sensual, 46% martial, and 67% saturnine.
    Coyote was an important being to several Native American tribes. He was one of those tricksters that are found in several world mythologies, in fact very close in temperament and deed to Loki of the Norse pantheon.
    Eternally scavenging for food, he represents the most basic instincts, but in other narratives, he is also the father of the Indian people and a potent conductor of spiritual forces in the form of sacred dreams. In the “Myth of the Stars and the Moon” he is shown as a wise counsellor even.
    There are more stories about him than stars in the sky. For example, did you hear the one about the “Spying Moon”? It seems that someone had pinched the moon, and Coyote offered to stand in as replacement. Everyone agreed that he made a fine moon, but from his elevated position Coyote could see everything that was going on. Being of an irritating disposition, he couldn't resist blowing the whistle on friends and enemies alike. "Hey, look what Badger is doing behind his tepee!"
    Pretty soon everyone was sick of his snooping and voted him out of the sky. But nothing can keep Coyote down for long. Being an old show-off, he loves to impress the girls by juggling his eyeballs. One day he threw one so high it got stuck in the sky and became the star Arcturus. So even now he's keeping an eye on us all.


    I won.

  6. #66
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Dagda

    Indeed, you are 58% erudite, 21% sensual, 50% martial, and 42% saturnine.


    More properly known as The Dagda, he was the Earth Deity-Father of both Gods and men. In this respect he was the Celtic equivalent to Cronus or Zeus of the ancient Greeks.
    Being the Earth God meant that he controlled the orderly passage of seasons. This cycle was maintained through the guiding melodies produced by a magical harp only The Dagda could play. Since an Earth God is sort of a personification of matter and "stuff," The Dagda owned something called the Undry which was a gigantic pot of abundance filled with an infinite supply of "stuff."

    One of The Dagda's many names meant "Good God”, but "good" in the sense of being good at doing things. He was a jack-of-all-trades, skilled and accomplished in all his endeavours. Well, for the most part. Apparently his imagination wasn't all that "good" - when his wife bore him three daughters in succession he named each one of them Brigit.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  7. #67
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    Coyote

    96% erudite
    88% sensual
    63% martial
    75% saturnine


    You scored 96% on erudite, higher than 98% of your peers.
    You scored 88% on sensual, higher than 83% of your peers.
    You scored 63% on martial, higher than 70% of your peers.
    You scored 75% on saturnine, higher than 85% of your peers.

  8. #68
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    Dagda

    Indeed, you are 50% erudite, 8% sensual, 38% martial, and 46% saturnine.

  9. #69
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    Coyote
    Indeed, you are 83% erudite, 75% sensual, 63% martial, and 71% saturnine.

    Coyote was an important being to several Native American tribes. He was one of those tricksters that are found in several world mythologies, in fact very close in temperament and deed to Loki of the Norse pantheon.
    Eternally scavenging for food, he represents the most basic instincts, but in other narratives, he is also the father of the Indian people and a potent conductor of spiritual forces in the form of sacred dreams. In the “Myth of the Stars and the Moon” he is shown as a wise counsellor even.

    There are more stories about him than stars in the sky. For example, did you hear the one about the “Spying Moon”? It seems that someone had pinched the moon, and Coyote offered to stand in as replacement. Everyone agreed that he made a fine moon, but from his elevated position Coyote could see everything that was going on. Being of an irritating disposition, he couldn't resist blowing the whistle on friends and enemies alike. "Hey, look what Badger is doing behind his tepee!"

    Pretty soon everyone was sick of his snooping and voted him out of the sky. But nothing can keep Coyote down for long. Being an old show-off, he loves to impress the girls by juggling his eyeballs. One day he threw one so high it got stuck in the sky and became the star Arcturus. So even now he's keeping an eye on us all.

  10. #70
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    Mictlantecuhtli

    Indeed, you are 58% erudite, 33% sensual, 58% martial, and 75% saturnine.
    All right, I'll be honest. The Aztec God of the Dead had an awfully long name, not quite as intimidating as the names of his equivalents, Hades (Greek mythology) or Pluto (Roman mythology). Still Mictlantecuhtli was the Lord of Mictlan, the lowest layer of the Aztec Underworld, and looked the part.

    He took the form of a bloody skeleton, but basically he was a fairly nice guy who extended kind hospitality to the newly dead souls that ventured into his necropolis kingdom. However, he could get somewhat adamantine if you tried to steal one or more of his “guests”, as Tezcatlipoca and Quetzalcoatl could tell you.

    After restoring the sky and earth, these two Gods decided to create people to inhabit the new world. In order to do this, Quetzalcoatl had to travel to the Underworld to retrieve the human bones of the last creation. On his way back to the surface, he fell into a deep pit, dug by Michlantechutli’s minions, who were ordered not to let him get away with their master’s most precious possessions. The bones were broken and scattered, which is, in Aztec mythology, the reason why people are different sizes today.

    Michlantechutli’s symbolic animals are the spider, the owl, and the bat.

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