I'm not sure why I was chosen to receive this as I'm not a forum "key player". I'm glad I did though it opened my eyes to the behind the scene operations of this place. Soon (couple of days maybe) this will be swept under the rug, some ignorant-of-the-fact folks who did not receive this information will be saying "hey you guys are so awesome" "I don't see anything wrong with what they did" blah blah blah etc. etc. I imagine even a few who did get this message will say the same thing. I'm not one of those people for the record.
Before this gets forgotten about and the above happens I've got a few things to say. No matter how you try to rationalize your behavior(s) and how far it was carried it was wrong. If you aren't willing to make those kind of douchebag comments in public you shouldn't say them. Jennifer in particular anything I've said to anyone else about you (very little actually) I've said directly to you as well. It's your life....and like other members and their personal/romantic life its their business! The assassination of someones character, the willful involvement/discussion of someones life outside the forum, the personal hateful comments about a few people in particular wasn't "blowing off steam". You have no business in peoples romantic life as a group...none at all. You have violated the trust of the community in my opinion and like Wolf this includes many people I thought were level-headed, fair, intelligent folks.
I learned from this about MBTIc. I no longer believe that integrity is a deciding factor in the choosing of a mod or admin or regularly used in decisions that are made. Zergling was wrong and all of the mods/admins involved were too. What is most hurtful is that it was almost all of them. Unfortunately this was a lose/lose situation for most people. Don't get me wrong a snarky comment here and there is quite natural. I don't think anyone among us expected anything less then that. People talk about people fact of life. However lets keep in mind most of us know when it's going to be hurtful and then there is a choice to make. You crossed the line beyond snarky repeatedly, went hard into hurtful and then found it highly amusing. I hate to say it but I was naive about some of you.
My hope from posting this is simple. I've been a mod of a very large (1000 + member) forum for two years now and beginning September 1st I will be the only admin. I take it there was more then one of these long PMs. I'm honestly glad I read only the one version it was enough to hurt my feelings pretty damn good (and none of the comments were even about me) call me a wussy I guess. The talking so harshly about great new members who contribute a consistent positive influence was majorly sucky, uncalled for and undeserved. I know I cannot go into specifics of what was said in this PM however Zergling did inflict the damage he set out to do at least with this persons opinion. The point is none of these kind of conversations happen in our mod box....it can be helped. When it starts it usually only takes one person to say stop and sometimes it only takes a mere hint. We have to discuss peoples antics all the time and how we will deal with. I guess moderating yourself and realizing your opinion matters to some people solely because you were chosen to be a leader can be hard to do or understand for some people. You didn't have to go nearly as far as many of you did even when you get aggravated. You chose to do so and in my opinion it was the wrong choice.
I wrestle with many things in life just like everyone else but I am trying to get better as time goes on. I may end up condemned for taking this grievance so seriously by public opinion...so be it. Going forward I sincerely hope you will modify your behaviors and be the leaders some members of this community believe you to be. I can't change what a person does but taking this maliciousness to a PM amongst yourselves is an easy click away.