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  1. #21
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Whether you did or not, did you have the capability to read them before you deleted them? I've always had the suspicion that the Admin could read PM's if they wanted to.
    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post

    Admins CANNOT read PMs.
    That is incorrect. You possibly may not, but certain admins can read pms. I've read them myself on another forum and while I knew it was wrong to read them, it was also difficult to turn away. People are fascinating creatures. I'd keep personal information out of pms and use email instead if you don't want anyone here to read your innermost thoughts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Well, based on what he sent me, we're not exactly dealing with reasonable or good people. Anyone that willingly participates in their secret activities is clearly not a good person.
    Appearently not.

    I will not be attending the SF meetup, or, for that matter, any of them where any admin, mod, or otherwise is likely to attend.
    That's completely understandable and since I was a target as well I'm with you on that one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post

    What's really a shame is that Zergling sent those pms.
    Yes and no.
    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    I hope whatever it was, it was sexy.
    If you find assholery sexy then yes it was dead sexy.

    To be fair, some of the mods and admins are very nice people and I knew this before Zerg sent me the pm so basically none of it came as a surprise to me.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  2. #22
    seńor member colmena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    If you find assholery sexy then yes it was dead sexy.
    The idea of it sounds very pleasant. I would call it a box social.

    In practical terms. Unlikely. I think things could get messy.
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    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    In practical terms. Unlikely. I think things could get messy.
    Hence the thread/above posts.

  4. #24
    seńor member colmena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    Hence the thread/above posts.
    *ahem*



    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  5. #25
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Think of it a bit like the staff room in a school for the teachers. They are, and have to be, professional with the students they moderate.. but behind the scenes will blow off some steam occasionally with a snarky comment or gossip about the students. It doesn't change how professionally they act, it's in private, and is far outweighed by the technical and dull discussions about how things should run and what to do about particular issuess.

    Suffice to say, if those teachers couldn't do that occasionally, they'd never stick at the job.

    Secondly, if anyone has received a PM showing they've occasionally been gossiped about, then that's pretty horrid.. I regret that, even where (and hopefully it's usually the case) I haven't said anything snarky.

    But.. let's be honest, the general members will be exchanging their own gossips and snarks by PMs. That's a fact of life. Of course it's painful if you find out it happened about you.. but it's how we get through social interactions, by blowing off steam occasionally out of earshot. What sucks here is an appalling betrayal of confidentiality. Some of this.. well.. venting was just like PMs.. but done in the modbox for convenience of audience. To share this with the members concerned is a pretty horrid thing to do for all concerned.

    Still, it's certainly drama, right?

  6. #26
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    Geoff, don't pretend like it wasn't the biggest ball of disgusting hate in history this side of IRL.

    "Now if he'd a said nothin, I'da thought nothin. But he goes on and on about how he ain't doin' nothin, and nothin' goin' on, and right then and there I know! This cat got somethin' goin on." --Heat

  7. #27
    only bites when provoked
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    That is incorrect. You possibly may not, but certain admins can read pms. I've read them myself on another forum and while I knew it was wrong to read them, it was also difficult to turn away. People are fascinating creatures. I'd keep personal information out of pms and use email instead if you don't want anyone here to read your innermost thoughts.
    Exactly.

    Appearently not.
    Even Geoff, cafe, and Jennifer, whom I thought were good/reasonable people before this. Ivy seemed a bit questionable before; now I know with certainty where she stands.

    That's completely understandable and since I was a target as well I'm with you on that one.
    That's not to say I haven't met at least a few good people here. But at least one bad apple showed up at the last meet in MN, so definitely not worth it again. That said, there are a number of really great people up there.

    Yes and no.If you find assholery sexy then yes it was dead sexy.
    Exactly. It definitely wasn't merely run-of-the-mill gossip, it was a bit of rumor mixed with the most childish and creepy forms of "assholery".

    To be fair, some of the mods and admins are very nice people and I knew this before Zerg sent me the pm so basically none of it came as a surprise to me.
    I know at least one, but he doesn't participate in there (or really post much). He's good stuff, possibly among the coolest people I know.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

  8. #28
    only bites when provoked
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    Think of it a bit like the staff room in a school for the teachers. They are, and have to be, professional with the students they moderate.. but behind the scenes will blow off some steam occasionally with a snarky comment or gossip about the students. It doesn't change how professionally they act, it's in private, and is far outweighed by the technical and dull discussions about how things should run and what to do about particular issuess.
    That was not "blowing off steam".

    Secondly, if anyone has received a PM showing they've occasionally been gossiped about, then that's pretty horrid.. I regret that, even where (and hopefully it's usually the case) I haven't said anything snarky.
    Snarky wouldn't be the word to describe what you said.

    What sucks here is an appalling betrayal of confidentiality. Some of this.. well.. venting was just like PMs.. but done in the modbox for convenience of audience. To share this with the members concerned is a pretty horrid thing to do for all concerned.
    If plotting crimes is "confidential", sure.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

  9. #29
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Even Geoff, cafe, and Jennifer, whom I thought were good/reasonable people before this. Ivy seemed a bit questionable before; now I know with certainty where she stands.
    Frankly, if you actually read what Zerg sent out (although it's been deleted now), you'll realize that my comments were either tongue-in-cheek or actually pretty sedate and trying to be balanced. I remember picking my words carefully with comments I made of you, because I was trying to be fair.

    I'm not going to speak for anyone else.

    But let's cut to the chase: I'm sure none of you in PMs have discussed my particular issues in a negative or critical way or made jokes among yourself at my expense, right? Should I be chastising you and slandering your overall character for doing so -- behind closed doors, where I wasn't supposed to overhear?

    I expect people to say negative things in a private setting at times about others -- because that's how people work. You have to blow off stream, especially if you're frustrated by someone or just find their behavior odd or out of mainstream. Or sometimes you just find it funny. We're all targets in some way. You do it in the back corners and around the coffee machine, so that when you have to make public decisions about it, those negative emotions aren't around to screw up your decisions.

    Geoff's comments about the teacher lounge are pretty apropos. That's basically what it is. And it says nothing about what people CHOOSE to do or how fairly they've chosen to treat others despite their personal feelings. In terms of how people get treated, we probably infract and warn people less than we should... because we're trying to be fair. Regardless of how you feel about some people's opinions of you, I've also seen them try to be as fair as hell about how to deal with you when you've had your share of gaffs here on the forums.

    I learned a long time ago that people will think of me what they will, and I can't do anything about that. Nor should I. What matters is whether they're fair with me and try to treat me equally, despite any inherent like or dislike.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Frankly, if you actually read what Zerg sent out (although it's been deleted now), you'll realize that my comments were either tongue-in-cheek or actually pretty sedate and trying to be balanced.
    I could post it if you guys would like to clear the air about the contents of the thread in question.

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