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  1. #221
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    Oh and if Night was saying that my writing was "sugary metaphor" then I challenge him to a duel right now, because that's just plain insulting!



    That was an Easter Egg. Nicely done, Jeffster.

    You've come closer to confirming what my initial post needled.

  2. #222
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    5 PAGES ALREADY??

    No way am I reading all that lot... well I probably will later but I've too much to do to be that bored at the mo..

    To get to the point, I am most distraught and concerned by this news. I am presuming that the villanous PM was only sent to those whom it pertained to. As I didn't get one of these interesting PMs I can only presume that my name was not taken in vain. As such I am former logging a protest. Exactly what do I need to do to get you guys to take this mantle of "forum rebel" seriously. Jeez. Aside from trolling I should be enemy number 1 and I don't even get stabbed up in the modbox!! Very disappointing...

    On less serious notes, I'd agree with Lookin, though with less vehemence (the jury is out on my general vehemence levels but I'm just not that fussed at present). It is disappointing when you find out that those you trust have let you down, deliberately or by just being human. Perhaps it was an expectation placed too high that a group of people who run a forum out of shared interest in the subject of MBTI. Such a group will pick other's who they like (I could say "approve of" or some such but it's all the same in the end) and will develop into their own little clique. As such part of me expected such backroom chatting and indeed for some posters to be suffered and complained about there. I am surprised however at the infereces that some posters are seemingly being picked on out of malice. Whether it's a case of someone with a headache or just a mean streak, I'd hope it's the exception rather than the rule.

    As an idea, does the modbox and PMs need using as much as it is (this idea is made in almost complete ignorance of the contents of such exchanges)? Could the discussions not be made more open?

    I recognise that this would rely on a quite mature membership. Perhaps list it as a privilage rather than a right and do it as a trial? It'd sure make interesting reading and no doubt an increase in people posting judging by this thread!

    Anyhow, just something that occurred to me whilst replying.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  3. #223
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Petty little me, I'm all about making the Gauntlet threads public for those who are poo-pooing about The Moral High Ground on this issue.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #224
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    That was an Easter Egg. Nicely done, Jeffster.
    You've come closer to confirming what my initial post needled.
    hey! I don't know whether to laugh or be insulted over how my writing got dissed offhand by both of you.

    Hmmm. Maybe I'll do both.

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    As an idea, does the modbox and PMs need using as much as it is (this idea is made in almost complete ignorance of the contents of such exchanges)? Could the discussions not be made more open?
    I'm going to be pragmatic, Xander, and just approach this from a procedural POV, and I'm not even discussing it as a mod right now or describing my own intentions, I'm just describing it as a functioning system and where the flaws in the system are.

    It would never work.
    Why?
    Because if people have something to say, they will find a way to say it. (As Malcolm says in Jurassic Park, "Life finds a way." Chaos rules.)

    It's the same reason we as a staff -- despite the cliche of being thread closers -- have argued among ourselves about leaving a thread OPEN (and have, numerous times, even when we preferred to shut it). Because we know that if people are still frustrated and have something to get out of their system, the topic will just start up elsewhere pretty quickly. Until it's out of their system.

    So I guarantee that if people are frustrated with a particular member's behavior on the forums, and the behavior doesn't change, and they can't voice annoyance or vent here due to transparency, they'll just go find another private area to do it -- whether it's on this site or not. That's just how human society and the psyche works. People will say what they need to say in order to cope with what they need to cope with.

    And it will be the exact same thing as here, except now it's worse because you'll have the illusion of transparency .... setting you up for yet another disillusionment if another Zerg ever comes along to break it for you.

    Does that make sense?

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Petty little me, I'm all about making the Gauntlet threads public for those who are poo-pooing about The Moral High Ground on this issue.
    Wow.
    That could be exciting!
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #225
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    OMG, we're still talking about this???

    Sorry, carry on....
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  6. #226
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Default The Steam Engine

    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    Let's assume there are people you don't like... or who get their goat becuase of the way they act. Heck, I'll do if you want to take an immediate example. So what do you do when you need to blow off steam about that someone you don't like.. do you tell them? How does that work for you?

    Don't you ever sit down with a friend and say "Gee, that guy I know Geoff.. he annoyed me today. He just plans sucks, stupid idiot!" on the assumption that the comments will stay private?
    A common metaphor for anger is the steam engine. And so we imagine that anger builds up like steam that will explode if it is not blown off.

    It is an unsuitable metaphor for a complex modern society where anger is disfunctional.

    I think it is more helpful to think in terms of emotional intelligence. And the hallmark of emotional intelligence is restraint.

    And it is important to remember that emotional restraint is not emotional suppression and it is not emotional repression.

    In emotional restraint the emotion is felt but it is restrained. It is not immediately expressed. However it may be expressed when appropriate or it may simply be sublimated.

    Emotional intelligence is often overlooked. In fact we are taught to express our emotions and this is often interpreted as expressing our emotions as they occur. But this is not very intelligent.

    However having said this, it is often very nice to be spontaneous and express our emotions as they occur. When this happens, you are in a trance and your cognitive functions, such as judgement, are temporarily asleep.

    So if you wish to be spontaneous, it is important to learn how to enter and leave a particular trance at will. And then when you are fully awake, to analyse and evaluate your trance experience. In other words it is then appropriate to judge your trance experience and decide what is good and what is bad; and what you will keep and what you will discard.

    However steam engines, I am afraid, are limited to running on their tracks - I have yet to see a steam engine dance in the fields.

  7. #227
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    However steam engines, I am afraid, are limited to running on their tracks. I have yet to see a steam engine dance in the fields.
    Pay attention to Victor's implicit point.
    Once you have it, silhouette it against his final statement.

    Highly intelligent post, Victor.

  8. #228
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Petty little me, I'm all about making the Gauntlet threads public for those who are poo-pooing about The Moral High Ground on this issue.
    Hell yeah. I prefer the whole ENFJ punch in the nose approach.

    It actually comes across to me as walmer... esp when you realise that most times you are expected to get back up and redress the situation then get welcomed back in... most times...

    Sometimes playing dead is just plain sensible though
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'm going to be pragmatic, Xander, and just approach this from a procedural POV, and I'm not even discussing it as a mod right now or describing my own intentions, I'm just describing it as a functioning system and where the flaws in the system are.

    It would never work.
    Why?
    Because if people have something to say, they will find a way to say it. (As Malcolm says in Jurassic Park, "Life finds a way." Chaos rules.)

    It's the same reason we as a staff -- despite the cliche of being thread closers -- have argued among ourselves about leaving a thread OPEN (and have, numerous times, even when we preferred to shut it). Because we know that if people are still frustrated and have something to get out of their system, the topic will just start up elsewhere pretty quickly. Until it's out of their system.

    So I guarantee that if people are frustrated with a particular member's behavior on the forums, and the behavior doesn't change, and they can't voice annoyance or vent here due to transparency, they'll just go find another private area to do it -- whether it's on this site or not. That's just how human society and the psyche works. People will say what they need to say in order to cope with what they need to cope with.

    And it will be the exact same thing as here, except now it's worse because you'll have the illusion of transparency .... setting you up for yet another disillusionment if another Zerg ever comes along to break it for you.

    Does that make sense?
    I'd have to say, and perhaps it's my NT ignoring some social or emotional thing but, so what?

    As far as I understand it now unless people ignore this thread or have contradictory evidence then why would anyone trust the mods/admins?

    I realise the whole "this forum is a privilage" jive but realistically and contrarily so too is having posters a privilage. Ergo some form of a relationship must be maintained. If it seems like there is a group from here who team together to whinge and have it supported by the forums structure then that's akin to having the forum itself side against you. If it's offsite then who cares? At least then it's unconnected.

    Hell perhaps I'll meet someone from this site and they'll knock me for six... it's not the forum doing it. It wouldn't matter who it was (well possibly aside from one or two certain important individuals, a rank ratified by myself of course). Now if I were suddenly the subject of votes by the admins/mods and my moves were monitored and possibly subject to repeated warnings then I would consider that the forum being in opposition to me.

    Can you see how the referred ownership of such actions can lead to the entity as a whole coming under fire?

    Oh and in case it's not obvious, not attacking d'manigmont. Just musing my way through as per.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  9. #229
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    As an idea, does the modbox and PMs need using as much as it is (this idea is made in almost complete ignorance of the contents of such exchanges)?
    You can't regulate the number of PMs people send. As for the modbox, 95% of what is said in there is forum business. It's not particularly exciting or juicy. So. . . no.

  10. #230
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    A common metaphor for anger is the steam engine. And so we imagine that anger builds up like steam that will explode if it is not blown off.

    It is an unsuitable metaphor for a complex modern society where anger is disfunctional.

    I think it is more helpful to think in terms of emotional intelligence. And the hallmark of emotional intelligence is restraint.

    And it is important to remember that emotional restraint is not emotional suppression and it is not emotional repression.

    In emotional restraint the emotion is felt but it is restrained. It is not immediately expressed. However it may be expressed when appropriate or it may simply be sublimated.

    Emotional intelligence is often overlooked. In fact we are taught to express our emotions and this is often interpreted as expressing our emotions as they occur. But this is not very intelligent.

    However having said this, it is often very nice to be spontaneous and express our emotions as they occur. When this happens, you are in a trance and your cognitive functions, such as judgement, are temporarily asleep.

    So if you wish to be spontaneous, it is important to learn how to enter and leave a particular trance at will. And then when you are fully awake, to analyse and evaluate your trance experience. In other words it is then appropriate to judge your trance experience and decide what is good and what is bad; and what you will keep and what you will discard.

    However steam engines, I am afraid, are limited to running on their tracks - I have yet to see a steam engine dance in the fields.
    Good post, thank you. I quite agree (and my own personal steam train is a quiet little thing, rarely even receiving a portion of coal).

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