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  1. #111
    Vulnerability Eilonwy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    PM's can/do exist with or without endorsement. I only see soft-censorship.
    ETA: I'm not feeling like I'm being censored, if that's what you're seeing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eilonwy View Post
    Understanding that gossiping is part of human nature and that it probably will continue even after calling it out is fine.
    I get it. I'm saying that "please take it to PM" is sending the wrong message. Especially from a mod. Some people will see it as endorsement. If it was supposed to be an acknowledgement that gossip does happen, but that it isn't welcome because it's disrupting the thread, or it's not fair because the person being gossiped about isn't here to defend themselves, then that's all that needed to be said to get the message across.

    If you all want to know why this bothers me, it's because I've participated in the PM gossip in the past and realized that doing so created and perpetuated unfair characterizations of third parties who had no way to defend themselves, resulting in accusations and actions that were way out of proportion to the facts. That's why I'm fine with being called out for gossiping in this thread and why I decided to not continue in the graveyard, where my posts were moved, or by PM. I made some bad decisions in my posts.

    I'm fine with acknowledging that gossiping by PM happens. I'm fine with the fact that it's impossible to censor. But I'm bothered by suggesting it be taken to PM--it was unnecessary.

    I've disrupted this thread enough. If my explanation wasn't clear, then create a different thread.
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    reminder to self: "That YOU that you are so proud of is a story woven together by your interpreter module to account for as much of your behavior as it can incorporate, and it denies or rationalizes the rest." "Who's in Charge? Free Will and the Science of the Brain" by Michael S. Gazzaniga

  2. #112
    Senior Member Eluded_One's Avatar
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    Anyone else have this song playing in their head when they saw this thread? Unfortunately, this is how FI works, for me at least.
    “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” -anonymous

  3. #113
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eilonwy View Post
    Calling it out as gossip is fine. Understanding that gossiping is part of human nature and that it probably will continue even after calling it out is fine. But I have a problem with suggesting taking it to PM. That seems to be encouraging more gossip rather than having the effect that you seem to be going for, which is discouraging it. Especially from a mod. It could be taken as endorsement of gossiping as long as it's by PM.
    No one is encouraging gossip. If you read my comment carefully, the last line stated: if you really must gossip, take it to PM. That is, take it out of the public view where it will at least not cause public embarrassment for the member discussed, and invite piling on from whoever happens across the thread. I have no tolerance for gossip myself, but as you wrote, understand it is part of the human condition. The least we can do here is keep it from derailing threads or causing hurtful drama.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  4. #114
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    i miss ozones

  5. #115
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    I don't think anyone should be banned permanently unless they have repeatedly hurt people. Even then, they should be offered a second chance. You never know who is hurting inside and how they react to pain.
    "...Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
    I doubted if I should ever come back.
    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."
    -The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

  6. #116

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mychemicalkilljoy View Post
    I don't think anyone should be banned permanently unless they have repeatedly hurt people. Even then, they should be offered a second chance. You never know who is hurting inside and how they react to pain.
    That's so true! I'm against it.

  7. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skinny-Love View Post
    That's so true! I'm against it.
    "...Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
    I doubted if I should ever come back.
    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."
    -The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

  8. #118

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mychemicalkilljoy View Post
    ���������������� �
    "I don't think anyone should be banned permanently unless they have repeatedly hurt people. Even then, they should be offered a second chance. You never know who is hurting inside and how they react to pain. "

    I agree. I'm against permabanning.

  9. #119
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mychemicalkilljoy View Post
    I don't think anyone should be banned permanently unless they have repeatedly hurt people. Even then, they should be offered a second chance. You never know who is hurting inside and how they react to pain.
    My heart goes out to someone in pain. But they're still responsible for what they say and do, pain or not. If someone tries to hurt a child because he was beaten as a kid, I'm still kicking his ass, and I won't be giving him an opportunity to be around children again either. Justification of his actions is not there.

    I agree that after dust has settled, time has passed, there is something substantial to make someone think otherwise, that things can be forgiven. Not immediately.. Sim was banned quite a long time before he came back. But still, there is potential for the idea.

    With that said, besides horrendous offenses violating IRL things, people getting permabanned usually are frequent offenders. They are not just once-and-done types.. they're people who have frequently disrupted others, brought chaos to the table, and cared none about the atmosphere, rules, and environment of the place. You can find many many situations of people who care about the rules and environment, but aren't really liked people with popular opinions. You can even find instances of people banned, more than once, and not permabanned. It really does take a stroke of intentional action to get permabanned.

    People are responsible for their actions. Being all lovey dovey and saying they're hurting doesn't really matter. They still have responsibility in their own actions.
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  10. #120
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    like @kyueei said pain sucks but no excuse to hurt others cuz of it. Everyone has been in pain at some point if someone's just attacking someone for no reason other then they had a bad day i'm on the fence about if the person deserves it though.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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