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  1. #211
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    It is revealing that we must devote so much of our time to policing bad behaviour.

    How much better our time would be spent if we were encouraging empathy, creativity, presence, and intellectual integrity.
    Indeed. But one bad apple spoils the lot.

  2. #212
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Indeed. But one bad apple spoils the lot.
    I think if we had a programme for encouraging empathy, creativity and integrity, the one bad apple would be marginalised rather than spoiling the whole barrel.

  3. #213
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    I think if we had a programme for encouraging empathy, creativity and integrity, the one bad apple would be marginalised rather than spoiling the whole barrel.
    If only it was just one bad apple in the barrel. There were many, and they were spread throughout. There was little choice but to take time and energy to remove them. But we didn't want to throw away so many bad apples that good ones were thrown away as well, so it was necessary to be thoughtful in evaluating the barrel.

    But, by taking time to remove them, we are beginning to create a new vacuum. This is where I agree whole-heartedly with your point. With a new vacuum created, we have an opportunity to fill it.

    How fun it would be to go picking for fresh, crispy apples!

  4. #214
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    It is revealing that we must devote so much of our time to policing bad behaviour.

    How much better our time would be spent if we were encouraging empathy, creativity, presence, and intellectual integrity.
    I've tried the latter. It works with a lot of people. It doesn't tend to work with the people who really seem to need that encouragement, however. Why? Bad behavior "works", as often as not.

    E.g., "Hah! I won that argument because he stopped replying to me!"
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  5. #215
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    I've tried the latter. It works with a lot of people. It doesn't tend to work with the people who really seem to need that encouragement, however. Why? Bad behavior "works", as often as not.

    E.g., "Hah! I won that argument because he stopped replying to me!"

  6. #216
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    I've tried the latter. It works with a lot of people. It doesn't tend to work with the people who really seem to need that encouragement, however. Why? Bad behavior "works", as often as not.

    E.g., "Hah! I won that argument because he stopped replying to me!"
    Right. There is a bit of acquiescence towards bad behaviour, more so offline than anything else...on the internet it's more to do with anonymity hence moderators usually come to the fore since websites are privately owned and have their own micro-structure and rules, but in most areas of life it's to do with most people not really wanting to challenge the behaviour in the first place. Some may call it weakness and timidity and I could see the argument.

    But more usually it's that people have other issues on their minds or in their lives, although sometimes it is an apprehension at causing a scene....social shame and all that jazz. In any case, demanding people usually do get what they want and the unfortunate truth is that this propagates because people enable it to do so. As I am often want to admit, I'm not innocent of it, although a point of, if not pride, then at least satisfaction is I did break up a long standing friendship over a principal.

    Being empathetic and kind are traits I value highly, but I've also seen them taken advantage of time and again. They work best with people willing to consider them in the first place, which of course is enabling from the opposite end of the spectrum.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  7. #217
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Where do I ask to move a thread?

  8. #218
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    Where do I ask to move a thread?
    Best way is to use the "Report" button on your OP and, in the text field, tell us where it should be moved.

  9. #219
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Disagree with the argument, but avoid insults.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

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