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  1. #271
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I didn't get that vibe from what she said... fwiw I thought she just meant that if you were to read it, you'd see where she was coming from.
    Precisely.



    One reason I don't post much serious stuff except on my blog (well, semi-serious I guess) is because I have very particular specialist subjects that really never get raised here on the board, and I'm not surprised either because they're boring to most people.

    I mean I could bore you all with indepth talk about Romanesque architecture and art, or medieval battle tactics and European martial arts, or linguistics, or late medieval Catholic religion and Corpus Christi plays... but somehow I doubt any of that is likely to crop up.

    I'm not a scientist by any means and math makes my eyes glaze over. I'm next to useless with a computer and I never studied psychology. So I've little to add to many of the most popular serious topics in here, except anecdotes of my own experience that seem relevant to the topic at hand. It doesn't mean I'm dumb or unable to hold a proper conversation; I'm just trying to contribute because I don't feel it's right (for me, not judging others here) to just lurk around and take pleasure in the hard work of others without trying to contribute something.

    It's also because my RL is pretty stressful on the one hand, and on the other hand, the opposite to Non-pareil's in that I have serious debate a-plenty, but comparatively little time/opportunity for relaxing, connecting with and meeting new people and having fun. I know a lot of intelligent people who are witty and clever and stuff, but I know them mostly in a professional context, so this is the only place I know where I can have rapid-fire mad-cap conversations with intelligent, creative and witty people. And as an ENTP I'm sure anyone can easily see how much that would mean to me.

    I try to keep it all to the fluff/social/blog threads, and when I accidentally leak it over to the serious ones I usually apologize and stop as soon as I realize I've done it (which I admit isn't always as soon as others realize it!).

    I'm not sure whether I'm considered to be a member of any clique; I don't consider myself as such, but if I am without knowing it and I've given anyone cause to feel excluded then I'm deeply sorry about that. Seriously.

    Is any of that valid at all? See, I just don't know any more. I'm starting to feel like the old guard here are impossible to please...

    I second every last word of this.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #272
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Seems odd that so much fuss can be caused over the ability to, mostly, pat people on the back.
    It is odd, though not unforeseen. A week or so ago I made a gentleman's bet that a change like this -- a sort of competition, no less -- would put a few noses out of joint. The impression of a problem is a) many times larger than one within real social circumstances, and b) becoming distended by the insistence that this group is somewhere near a crisis. It seems more likely that conflict will be borne from conjecture or aspersions about perceived conflict.

    Having taken holidays from the forum for weeks at a time, I would argue, from a certain disjuncture, that moods and levels of interest here oscillate. Posters come and go, their presence or absence resulting in a different dynamic.

    As this is simply one more cycle, I would request the growing mob be dispersed.

  3. #273
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy View Post
    I'm usually very serious, and I am used to being ignored.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #274
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy View Post
    I am also pretty new to this MBTI and it's fascinating to me, however I am not as technical as most here, so I find myself just "listening" to all of you rather than participating (I enjoy it very much, though, so don't stop!) I understand fluff well, so I can always give my 2-cents.

    I'm usually very serious, and I am use to being ignored.
    You're here so that's pretty cool in itself. I'm fairly new too, so can be new together!

    Sandy, people aren't ignoring you, they are just blissfully unaware of their surroundings.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  5. #275
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by htb View Post
    ...
    I would request the growing mob be dispersed.
    tee-hee

  6. #276
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    Sandy, people aren't ignoring you, they are just blissfully unaware of their surroundings.
    I totally don't ignore you Sandy, I think you rock!

    (hm, this is starting to tie in with the 'Do you ever...?' thread... N's feeling ignored when they're not... ?!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  7. #277
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I totally don't ignore you Sandy, I think you rock!

    (hm, this is starting to tie in with the 'Do you ever...?' thread... N's feeling ignored when they're not... ?!

    my point exactly!
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
    Jung Test Results
    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

  8. #278
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nonpareil View Post
    I haven't posted much recently but I have been following this reputation system threads closely. Personally, I feel like this is a huge popularity contest. It's all about who has more point and who doesn't. I don't like it. I don't care if I'm popular, I just like being here so that I can learn about different mbti types and relate to more NT's. I have a hard time finding a group of people that I can relate to and that I can feel really would understand me.

    Recently, I have lost that motivation to visit this site and post because I feel like everything I have to say is ignored. I feel more and more like I've entered a forum consisting of social cliques. I do not feel like I can relate to anyone anymore and I feel even less like I could talk to anyone. Most posts I have made in the last two weeks has basically been ignored and I found that the number of posts that I could relate to and share my thoughts on is lost. It greatly saddens me because for the first time in my life, I felt there was a place I could belong to and be accepted. I do not feel that anymore.

    It's not that I have anything personally against the reputation system but I do think it's being used the wrong way. As many people stated (those with a lot of rep points and those without), mostly admit that most of their points were from "fluffy" posts - not from deep, intellectual and insightful posts. I'm sorry, I'm a rather serious person. I lack my many life experiences and although I'm serious, I like to listen and hear the many life stories people here have. I'm getting very little of that now. With people rewarding people with points for cute and funny posts, we lose the incentive to post what we really think and feel. I admit, I don't have many points, and it doesn't matter to me. But what does matter is that I find that I don't have anyone who cares about what I have to say anymore, things get derailed and lost. I don't have time to filter through everything and maybe if I did, I can find what I'm looking for again....



    I've always have a hard time fitting in, because I never care to fit in. Maybe I'm too serious, but my purpose for joining mbtic was to find more people I could talk to and relate to. I liked sharing my thoughts and feelings with everyone and I like hearing about people's experiences. I learn that way because I was deprived of it. I lack self confidence and I want to say, this site has helped me start to get over it. But now, my posts are ignored and I fear that it will remain that way. There is too much emphasis on how many points one has and what their reputation they have. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can keep up, I have a lot to learn and I'm trying to do that.



    I donno, maybe I'm the only one who sees this, but it could be my own interpretation on what this forum is....I've lost those threads/people that I can truly talk to and relate to. To me, the purpose of MBTIc is lost. That is what saddens me about this rep system - not the "fluff" or the points but the content and attitude that is now dominating this forum.
    I can understand why you would feel this way about the system, however each person on this forum are here for different reasons. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to be here for intellectually stimulating conversation/s? I believe that quite a few of the people on here are individuals who don't feel 100% comfortable in social situations and/or have mental or physical issues (or both) they are dealing with. I am here because I feel that I cannot always be myself irl. I live in an area surrounded by conservative people and when I am myself I usually get strange looks. At MBTIc I have met some very nice people (and one irl that I am happy to call my friend) and feel I can be myself. I was very shy as a child and young adult and I always felt out of place. I have strived to overcome a lot of those fears and have a nice life now.

    Who are any of us to say what is or is not a great post? If it's not your cup of tea, fine. Move on to the next topic of interest. Forum life is similar to real life imo. There are people who you feel more drawn to and want to hang around with and others you don't. I don't often have time to read long drawn out posts because i am always on the go. That doesn't mean that the longer posts aren't valuable to another member. And there may be times when your post is greatly appreciated and that person smiled to themselves and thought "Hey, Non's post was so on the money", but for whatever reason they didn't say it publicly. I posted a response in your wedding blog that went ignored. It didn't bother me, in fact I thought why should she care what I think? She doesn't even know me.

    IMO this place needed a boost and I believe the rep system has done the job. And if INTJ Mom can figure out how to put a Christmas penguin into the comment box then I say we should keep it!

    Anyway you're are getting married! YEA! That is cooler than a fluff post any day!
    Last edited by Tigerlily; 12-16-2007 at 04:45 PM.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  9. #279
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    ...
    IMO this place need an boost and I believe the rep system has done the job. And if INTJ Mom can figure out how to put a Christmas penguin into the comment box then I say we should keep it!
    ~chuckle~
    I had to learn a little html trick. At least I think it's HTML. :-P


  10. #280
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Okay, here I go again placing my ass on the line to say what I think needs to be said, but I have a test tomorrow and I need to sleep, and I won't be able to unless I get this off my chest. With that said...

    I think one thing's become clear to me at least, through all this. Haight needs to put his J hat on and start laying down some policies. It's been feeling a bit like the Church of England around here lately... lots of bickering factions that could be brought back under control before they destroy the whole organization, if only the Archbishop of Canterbury would quit dithering and show some leadership.

    It's kinda felt like I've come into a place that didn't seem to have any particular rules in place, just a sorta non-specific set of unspoken rules that it was assumed everyone was hip to. But this whole episode has made me rather aware that there is really no one set of even unspoken rules, that everyone agrees on. But there are different groups who have a common set of expectations and preferences which they believe are the official rules, and in the absence of any clear leadership 'ruling', so to speak, on these things, it's just snipe city.

    I personally really appreciate this place existing and I know I owe it all to Haight and the admins and mods (and possibly the general intolerance of INTPc, ironically), but especially Haight. I'm somewhat unusual for an ENTP in having learned a certain level of respect for people in authority, but I don't think Haight's been really claiming the authority that nobody on here would deny is his. If he had, then he could've nipped a few things in the bud in a way that yes, some might have had a problem with, but in the end they'd just have to suck it up, cos he's the boss, right?

    I want to know Haight, what is your intention for this board? What do you hope to achieve with it? Why do you pay the bills for this? Would you like others to contribute? Would you provide a way for them to do so? I say that because I think it's only fair to say that if other people want a say in how the place is run, they ought to perhaps consider that, otherwise it's like a bunch of spoilt teenagers moaning about their mom cooking something they don't like for dinner, even though they owe their existence to her ffs and do nothing in return. Just a thought.

    Though it pains me to use the phrase 'mission statement', I can't help but think that some people might feel a lot better if they could have a clear thing, straight from the horse's mouth as it were, saying what's encouraged, what's frowned upon, what's a total no-no, and y'know, just generally, a bit of Te from you wouldn't hurt around here...

    I don't mean to sound as though I'm criticizing you Haight, cos I'm not really, more just sorta suggesting a possible solution to a climate in which one can get a sense of being buffeted around by the various and conflicting opinions of the different members, mods and admins, and nobody's sure which bits are their personal opinions and which are actually officially sorta sanctioned by the management.

    I for one really have no idea where I stand and how my behaviour is viewed by the owners, how near or far I am from the ban bin in reality, or why - just a general awareness that some people, possibly some in 'authority' aren't too happy with me; a vague sense of not being particularly liked by the old guard but tolerated nonetheless. But i've no idea how to modify my behaviour to rectify the situation, as whatever I've done to that end so far doesn't seem to have lessened that feeling of the precariousness of my acceptance here. That's what I meant about feeling like I'm being told off for breaking rules that seemed to have been made up on the spot, and like the management just can't be pleased. Maybe some others have a similar feeling, and would appreciate some kind of clear scale or statement they could measure themselves against to be able to get a sense of how to be a 'better' member.

    I don't think it's possible to reach total consensus, with everyone being so different. But I do think that personally, I've no problem with accepting that Haight is the big daddy and what he says goes. I wouldn't argue with it and I'd abide by it to the best of my ability, even if there were parts I didn't like. I might subvert and needle the mods and admins now and again, but only in as much as I knew wasn't actually violating Haight's rules. Y'know, like a peasant can poke fun at the baron sometimes without his loyalty to the king being questioned?

    FFS, just when I locate and flip my F switch back to its natural position now whoever flipped it has flipped my J switch!

    (and if I now go browsing around and find a page that clearly states rules and mission statements on it, I shall go sit in a corner and quietly commit sepuku, nnnkay? )
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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