NT males - what are you attracted to?

[BlownAway]

I'm just fascinated by NT:s..and very attracted to your mental strength and ability to debate without freaking out .

So, just curious, what are you attracted to when it comes to the opposite sex? And what leaves you cold?

[Night]

I think you'll find much of what compels an NT is fairly universal, in terms of attractiveness:

Attractive:

Intelligence
Sense of humor/wit (self-deprecation a must)
Self-respect
Respect for others; sense of social dignity and/or personal accountability
Open-mindedness
Fidelity
Patience
Warmth / Enthusiasm for life

Unattractive

Cruelty
Humorlessness/bureaucratic involvement with others
Unreliability
Intractable ignorance / arrogance
Excessive emotionality
Lack of emotional expression
Deceitfulness

[BlownAway]

Thanks for a good answer! See I have to work on my patience and emotional control .

[Night]

Pobody's Nerfect.

Truly though - cultivating an honest sense of who you are is probably the most attractive thing a person can endeavor towards.

It takes cobbles to find comfort in one's skin.

[Jack Flak]

I care more about personality than looks by a factor of ten, but I believe you can judge the book by the cover to a degree. Peoples' psyches have a habit of obviousness. I can find several angles attractive, but I do usually prefer the engaging presence of extroverts. With regard to long-term interaction, I've found there is an innate conflict, if only mild, with xSTP, xSxJ, INFP. INTP-INTP is usually amicable, but provides for little excitement. Historically speaking, I've fallen hardest for ESFP, ENFP, ENFJ.

[zago]

Originally Posted by BlownAway

I'm just fascinated by NT:s..and very attracted to your mental strength and ability to debate without freaking out .

So, just curious, what are you attracted to when it comes to the opposite sex? And what leaves you cold?

Turn on
Confident
Easy to talk to (balance of agreement and disagreement, joking and serious)
Easy to let my guard down and be my goofy self
Coy
Deep thinking
Balance between hard-to-get and attainable
Someone likely to say "fuck it" (blunt, laid back)
Seems to be burning on the inside, as in "questioning life"
Bitchy, but not...


Turn off
Judgmental
Proud of "helping people"
Signs of unthoughtful following of social norms
Excessive talking just to talk (filler conversation about how the day was, things that happened, etc. This is necessary, but only as a springboard to more interesting topics)
Concerned about not appearing socially awkward
Prudeness (high sensitivity to foul and explicit language--some is ok. One time a girl kicked me in the balls cause I said "cunt." I found this to be a turn on.)

[ajblaise]

-Confidence, but she doesn't have to ooze confidence, as long as her face doesn't look like she could break out in tears any second.
-Bluntness.
-Not getting offended by what I say and my sense of humor.
-Height doesn't matter, but I'm just simply not physically attracted to a women who weighs a lot in proportion to her height. Curves and voluptuousness are hot though.
-I really don't need a women to be girly and needy and mentally submissive.
-Pretty face.
-I can handle a judgmental women, it's not really a turn off, as long as she can separate her emotions from her judgments and is able to talk about her opinions.
-I like opinionated women.
-If she has borderline or histrionic personality disorder, it won't work out, unless she's actually recovering from it.
-Enjoys sex.
-She can't be hell bent of changing or "improving" me.
-Humorlessness, bleh.
-Terminal pessimists, I'll pass, I do like cynical people though.
-I love wit, especially if the women is smart and witty and knows it.

[BlownAway]

Wow..like your answers! Especially these parts (they probably matches most ENFP:s ):

Coy
Deep thinking
Someone likely to say "fuck it" (blunt, laid back)
Seems to be burning on the inside, as in "questioning life"
Bluntness.
Enjoys sex.
Respect for others; sense of social dignity and/or personal accountability
Open-mindedness

So if I want to date an NT..where and how do I find you?? Are there any specific clues to look for?

[Jack Flak]

Originally Posted by BlownAway

So if I want to date an NT..where and how do I find you??

[substitute]

Independence - emotional more than financial or practical (though the latter two aren't a turn off)
Friendliness
Openness to new places, people, things, experience
Passion
Willing to 'have a go' (before asking for help - people who just straight away say "I can't! Help me!" without even trying are a serious turn off)
Can carry their half of a conversation (making me work like hell to drag words out of you is a turn off)
You can't really be too chatty for me, unless you're very chatty AND unable to not be offended when someone asks if you could kindly STFU for a minute.
Reasonableness
Can and is willing to play with ideas (work with me here!)
Sense of propriety but also knows the rules well enough to break them and get away with it (any rules you can think of in any aspect of life)
Integrity

Biggest turnoffs
Saying stuff like "the law is there for a reason!"
Shrieking/yelling
Gossiping
Getting kicks from going over others' flaws behind their backs whilst being unwilling to consider own flaws openly
Thinking "I can't see any point in it" is the end of the conversation. You must be willing to entertain that there might BE a point, but you simply can't see it, and be willing to figure it out rather than thinking that if you don't see it, it therefore can't be there.
People with too many anxieties and neuroses (who say "ewww!" a lot)
edit - also, materialism is a serious turn off.