Opinions of ENTJs..

[cn1234567890]

My now ex (an ENTJ as far as I can tell) and I recently ended things and I'm realizing a lot of jerk-ish characteristics. I noticed some other poor opinions of the ENTJ floating around here and I was wondering if anyone has met some decent ones or they are, despite being charming at the beginning, rotten at the core?

He pushes aside his emotions and self-medicates with drugs, he's manipulative, he lies to himself and others, he always wants what he can't have. I'd been on and off with this guy for a while and as soon as I don't care so much about him and he sees me having a good time with other guys, he wants me back and preys on my NFPness Do they ever get peace of mind? Or is he just unhealthy?

[creativeRhino]

Sounds like your potential ENTJ has problems regardless of type.

If his T is high then that would explain his pushing emotions aside and then the desire to "win" can be a thing with ENTJ - hence when he is alone, and you are popular he enjoys the "chase".

The rest sounds like bad coping skills.

My husband (who died) was an ENTJ - and yes he liked to control how/when things happened, unless you could show valid alternatives/issues with his idea.
But he wasn't a control freak - he kind of liked organising chaos. Mind you, he did have trouble letting go of people (or his idea of what would be good for somebody) he thought he could somehow "help"/reform or whatever. I think a few wondered if he'd ever drop "it". The world was there to be perfected by him!

Normally ENTJs are results and "I rule" oriented. You've got to know your mind/wants and be able to communicate them and argue your case. That is the best legacy of my relationship with one.

I suspect you need to tell your friend to make up his mind or get out of your life. If so, then you need to say "it's over" and don't get drawn into the whys etc. (see previous paragraph).

[Meatbot]

Originally Posted by cn1234567890

My now ex (an ENTJ as far as I can tell) and I recently ended things and I'm realizing a lot of jerk-ish characteristics. I noticed some other poor opinions of the ENTJ floating around here and I was wondering if anyone has met some decent ones or they are, despite being charming at the beginning, rotten at the core?

All the ones I have known were charming at the beginning and rotten at the core. And when they behave in a charming or "selfless" manner, it's usually because it gets them something else that they want (other than self-satisfaction). I know one who volunteers at old folks homes in order to befriend the ones with no families in hopes of getting in their will. They lie, cheat, and behave disrespectfully. They bully, intimidate and yell. They want to be in control and they don't think the rules apply to them.

[VanillaCat]

Originally Posted by Meatbot

All the ones I have known were charming at the beginning and rotten at the core. I know one who volunteers at old folks homes in order to befriend the ones with no families in hopes of getting in their will.

That's terrible, but also kind of smart.

Still, it's incredibly immoral of them.

[Edahn]

My girlfriend's ENTJ and she's pretty cool.

Edit: and she doesn't volunteer at old age homes.

[SolitaryWalker]

Originally Posted by cn1234567890

My now ex (an ENTJ as far as I can tell) and I recently ended things and I'm realizing a lot of jerk-ish characteristics. I noticed some other poor opinions of the ENTJ floating around here and I was wondering if anyone has met some decent ones or they are, despite being charming at the beginning, rotten at the core?

He pushes aside his emotions and self-medicates with drugs, he's manipulative, he lies to himself and others, he always wants what he can't have. I'd been on and off with this guy for a while and as soon as I don't care so much about him and he sees me having a good time with other guys, he wants me back and preys on my NFPness Do they ever get peace of mind? Or is he just unhealthy?

Lack of peace is to associated with the lack of Introversion often found in unhealthy ENTJs.

He needs to settle down, set aside the external agenda and turn to his Introverted Intuition to tell him what really matters in life to him.

[JivinJeffJones]

I haven't known too many ENTJs, but the ones I have known were a bit of a trial. I was kindof friends with one in particular, and he was doing his best to be a good person. But they just seem to have this mindset that you are an asset to be used efficiently in pursuit of their goals (regardless of your wishes) or a distraction from said goals. Or a hindrance which must be crushed. There doesn't seem to be much in-between.

[SolitaryWalker]

Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones

I haven't known too many ENTJs, but the ones I have known were a bit of a trial. I was kindof friends with one in particular, and he was doing his best to be a good person. But they just seem to have this mindset that you are an asset to be used efficiently in pursuit of their goals (regardless of your wishes) or a distraction from said goals. Or a hindrance which must be crushed. There doesn't seem to be much in-between.

This is a typical T perspective, Ti does not involve all variables though and views you as not either a direct assistance to the accomplishment of a goal, but more of an indirect, same goes for the prospects of you being a hindrance. This is the case for every introvert, external variables are deemed to affect the agenda only indirectly and not directly, but asides from this the two dom Thinking types are of the exact mindset you've depicted.