Need help from INTJ guys

[Cality]

[Edited at User's Request]

[Wolf]

It's hard to say. I might've considered them crazy if I didn't know them much at all.

Personally, there is the potential that I just won't respond for some reason (or no reason). A second might elicit some response from me, though it could easily go either way...


Wait for more to get some kind of consensus, and/or ask at INTJf.

[Haphazard]

I don't know about him, but I get a lot of emails that I don't respond to, or even look at. If it was just labeled "Happy Birthday!" from an email address he didn't know, he could have thought that it was a virus or junk mail and deleted it.

There's also that he might not have recognized your name (that happens to me a lot when I get emails from people I haven't seen for a long time -- I'm a face person, not a name person) and he could have thought that somebody he didn't know wishing him happy birthday was creepy. Or, even if he did remember, he could have thought, "Why's this woman sending me stuff? I barely even know her!"

Or, you know, he could remember you perfectly and just think you're obnoxious. Really, in all these cases, the response would have looked the same -- as in, not giving one.

It's already June, so I guess if you're still interested, it's time for another email. What I'd recommend is making the longest, most descriptive subject line ever, using names to make it not look like a virus, and just say that you met him before and wanted to get to know him better. Be straightforward, but don't come on too hard -- otherwise, you'll just scare him off. If it was me, I might actually be curious enough to get out of my house and go meet someone for once.

[Haphazard]

Originally Posted by Cality

yeah, thanks for your advices, guys. I thought he could find this odd and even not remember my name. But I also thought, he could google my name. That's why I intentionnaly put a picture of me on public listing of websites like facebook or such. I thought it could help.


Ok, and why obnouxious? Wierd, odd ok but obnouxious?

I really wouldn't think to look you up if I got an email from someone I didn't know. And also, there are probably several people with your name. I know when I look up my name on google, I get a listing of child neglectors and old dead people before anything about me comes up.

I don't know about most INTJs, but I don't separate people into categories of 'weird' and 'not weird' (I think that's more of an Si thing, anyway). I usually go by if they're easy to get along with or hard to get along with, as in "okay" and "too annoying to deal with." And sometimes first impression an EP with us can be very, very bad.

[Haphazard]

Originally Posted by Cality

No, im the only one baring my name on the web and on facebook!


But, ok. I didn't have any deep conversation with him. I just flashed on him and as an ENXP (but ENFP at times), i just starting asking tons of question about him, his job, where he lives, what he does and so on. I just couldn't help. That all we talked about...

Ouch.

INTJs do not do well with S-type interrogation.

Umm. Good luck?

When trying to talk to him, be very specific about when you met him and what happened and that you'd like to talk with him some more. If he wasn't absolutely scared off by interrogation the first time he might reply.

[Haphazard]

Originally Posted by Cality

yeah.... I wasn't trying to be S-interviewer... I was just trying to mine/gather informations about him before getting further, deeper.. But, ok I might have scared him off and might scare hime evn more with this email... :s

Well, you never know until you try.

[Haphazard]

Originally Posted by Cality

what do you suggest... in the subtitle : anything like hi and his name... ? or even longer : hi so and so from so and so you met there...??

Make the subject as long as possible and use specifics so it can't be mistaken for a virus or junk mail or anything. The body of the letter should be short, sweet, and to the point.

You know, if you found his email online and through a company, it could be a different guy, depending on how common his name is.

[Haphazard]

At this point you've just got to write the letter the best you can and send it. Stop worrying, just do.

And you know, if it falls through, there's plenty of other fish in the sea. Don't get obsessed with this one guy. He certainly won't appreciate it.

[DigitalMethod]

Originally Posted by Cality

well, in my mail, I wrote the specific reasons why I want to get to know him, what impression I got from him. I think, my email is appeling... also i re-introduce myself

If your reasons are good enough for him then surely he will be curious and he might act on this, depending on if he is in a relationship right now, and just how curious he is.

Something appealing to me would be like, "Yeah we met before and I really wanted to get to know you because I sensed that we clicked on a few levels." I think that's what most important to me, in a friend, or a partner, INTJs know we are freaks and are rare. When we click with someone it's pretty rare and we try to develop that relationship into whatever it may become. Although maybe that is just me.

How do you know he is an INTJ? Did he tell you or something? INTJ really can be mistaken for other types by the outside observer very easily.

As for you interrogating him, personally I wouldn't mind that - to an extent. The normal, name, age, career would be fine. If he doesn't like his job though, then don't really quiz him on that. Try to figure out his passions or I guess you could call it the "INTJ plan" he is working on, he'd probably like to talk to you about it, unless it's personal. But finding out that would take time anywho.

Good luck.

[nottaprettygal]

I'm a little confused about how long you actually knew this guy. Did you just meet that one time?

Personally, I think it's wishful thinking to think that he didn't respond to you because of email problems. I guess it wouldn't hurt to send another one, but I think you should have seized the opportunity when you had the chance.