INTJs as Parents

[SquirrelTao]

Hi, myself (an INFP) and my INTJ husband just had our first baby, and I've grown curious about how his INTJness affects his fathering. He seemed afraid to be left alone with our infant son for more than five minutes at a time, until just recently when our little one turned four months old and got easier. He is a great baby entertainer, but if his baby soothing doesn't work, he gets quickly impatient.

How do/did those of you INTJs who have dealt with babies feel about your own babies?

[scantilyclad]

I'm also an INFP and i have a 7 month old son with an INTJ.
He is exactly the same with the baby. As our son is getting older, he is getting better at being alone with him, but he is still very anxious, and won't change diapers or anything like that.

Just recently he started putting him to bed by himself, he will go in there and pat him on the chest until he falls asleep, its actually quite adorable, but that is really the only thing he feels comfortable doing as of now.

[Haphazard]

Babies are terrifying creatures.

[scantilyclad]

but why are they terrifying to you? I've always wondered why some people find babies terrifying. I've always found them cute and cuddly.

[Haphazard]

Originally Posted by scantilyclad

but why are they terrifying to you? I've always wondered why some people find babies terrifying. I've always found them cute and cuddly.

You have this very small thing that bubbles and poops that's going to grow up -- that is, if you don't kill it first.

I may trust my motor skills to carry me through my every day, I may be confident with knives and things, but still, a holding a baby means that you're not just hurting yourself if you fuck up, and that's scary as hell. I may not have kids (and that's a good thing, at fifteen), but I have never offered to hold a baby and am terrified by holding small animals because I just know I'm going to hurt them. It may be an entirely irrational fear, but I always have that feeling until I suck it up and get over myself.

My guess is that with these INTJ fathers, it's the same thing. Too afraid of screwing up, and no maternal instinct to carry them through.

[scantilyclad]

Originally Posted by Haphazard

My guess is that with these INTJ fathers, it's the same thing. Too afraid of screwing up, and no maternal instinct to carry them through.

That definitely makes sense.

[Haphazard]

Originally Posted by scantilyclad

That definitely makes sense.

And then in his paralysis of not knowing what to do, he doesn't realize he's just giving his wife that much more work to do!

We can be stupid sometimes. Please excuse us.

[scantilyclad]

I always let my boyfriend know when i'm overwhelmed with too much to do, and although he'll never volunteer to watch the baby, sometimes he will cook dinner or fold the laundry. INTJs can also be understanding! Actually he probably isn't being understanding, he is probably just opting to help me so i stop bitching at him, either way its helpful.

[DigitalMethod]

Yes, they are scary.
It's definitely the INTJs habit of over obsessing about everything that can go wrong.
I am only 16, I cannot add much, not much experience in that field. But I can say, yeah babies are cute sometimes, do I want to hold one though? Erm, no. So many things can go wrong not only for myself but for the little life I hold if I screw up.

I find toddlers and younger kids, 2ish-8ish a lot more "cute". Their minds are expanding so rapidly and each one has such a defined personality, it truly is amazing to watch young children. Although I usually think twice about interacting with them, then it gets scary. It's probably just because I lack experience with children so I sit there and think "oh man I don't know what I am doing, I am going to screw something up!"

However, I think I'd be way more open if it were my own child, but then again I don't have one, so I can only guess.

[nozflubber]

Don't leave the baby alone with an INTJ father - the son of a bitch will drown it for not being able to play checkers by age 5.

I'M TOTALLY SERIOUSLY